Sunday, December 29, 2013

Till next year,peace out

Hello hello.I am back again.I know I have been neglecting my blog again.Have decided to write my summary for this year as I am currently feeling VERY BORED at home and I dont wanna postpone making the summary to the very last minute. Just spent an hour or more to read up all my posts for this year ( in case i forgot what I've experienced this year) and also decided to read what I went through last year for a bit.

I noticed that the number of posts that I've been posting has been decreasing annually and hence one New year that I would try and conquer would be to post more often in this blog..I don't keep a diary with  me,so this blog is in some sense like an electronic diary for me.Plus the fact that not a lot of people knows about my blog or even reads them. I don't really mind because it's not my main aim to have a famous blog or something.I just like to write down my thoughts and stuff and though would at times wish for some people who are close to me to read them to just let them in what's actually going through in my mind,at the same time I just take this as a personal record for the stuff that I wanna put down in words to be read again.

I think this year is the year where I've been to quite a lot of concerts and met a lot of artists that I have been dreaming of meeting and I feel I am very lucky to be able to do.Ooh and TABLO AND NICKHUN REPLIED MY TWEET WHICH IS BEYOND AWESOME!Also I think I broke my own personal record of winning a lot of free stuff this year from concert tickets to a box of beauty stuff from one of my fav. blogs I usually read.I myself dont know how I do it,I just usually enter contests I am interested in and give it my best shot and hope to win something.I do get disappointed at times of not winning them.Hahahahhaa.Was able to buy one of my (well a num) of my dream shoes and had a number of great buys for clothes and all :D

I started the year by going for GDA,then Twin Tower's Alive where 2ne1 came,then seeing Jo In Sung,then GD's solo world tour,then world stage, Arthur's Day and finally Super Junior-Super Show 5 concert.There are a few concerts which I regret not going such as Linkin Park's one.But its all good.There are 2 concerts that I am dying to attend in 2014 and I just hope I will be able to attend them. *praysss*

Crossing off my life's to do list is to work in a fast food restaurant and just a few days back experiencing the unique way of eating at my house porch with almost complete darkness as there was no electric in my house for about 2 hours.I seriously appreciate the creation of electricity and internet I tell you.

One of the happiest moment this year would be the fact that I manage to graduate and is of course a "Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah' in my life chapter. Am doing my CLP now and you will see my rant and cry over it over the next many many posts.I can safely assure you I will do that.

I didnt really travel that much this year as much as I longed to ( especially the past few months because I was just feeling restless and tired and what not-it's a hard to explain feeling that I've been experiencing). But I did have short and really awesome ones. One was going to Pangkor Island with Ms.Lee,Ms.Yap,and Ms.Ding. And at the second half of the year went to Thailand with Ms.Lee and Ms.Sweet ! Both were short trips but it was definitely very memorable.

Also at then second half of the year left me dealing with many issues which I did not expect that I had to deal with to be honest.Its basically family stuff and it was not easy for me to be honest.Am still dealing with it and I just hope all will be resolved well next year.

Hence there has been many negative or emo posts as you can put it.Some are about the issues that I mentioned generally in the paragraph above.

Some posts are just more about my feelings on thoughts on having to try and decide on the direction I wanna head in life regarding on things I want to do and experience and my career.I cant believe that I actually need to deal with 'such grown up,adult stuff '. I think this maybe due to the fact that subconsciously I just dont feel like being one? hahaha, I dont know..That might be it or it might be just having to experience it for the first time, I'm in shock mode and am not quite so sure how am I supposed to handle this kinda things.And seeing like how some of my peers know what and where they're heading already makes me feel lost,worried and scared.

Like this kind of questions have been some things I've been thinking a lot for this year I guess and things in in life like living life itself,love,death and all that..Experiencing,hearing and knowing about it personally and also seeing things from like a third person kinda view.

Not losing to last year,there are of course a lot of good songs and dramas this year as well, such as That Winter the Wind Blows,Master's Sun,The Heirs ( HELLO KIM WOO BIN I LOVE YOU , AND OOH SO JI SUB AND NOT FORGETTING JO IN SUNG) and the new drama which just started not long My Love from another star starring Jun Ji Hyun,Kim Soo Hyun and Yoo In Na. The drama Heartless City is a very screwed up drama which I havent watch fin yet ( its too emo) but I already knew the ending which is a sad one which makes me not feeling like finsihing it.hahahahaa.

MY favs artist such as 2ne1,GD ,YB and TOP released songs respectively which I LOVE.EXO's Growl is one of my fav this year as well and so are songs from like Infinite,Kahi ,Zion.T,Epik High and all. In the non-kpop scene: Justin Timberlake and Beyonce ,Lorde,Macklemore and Ryan Lewis,The Great Gatsby and Hunger Games : Catching Fire OST are one of the few favourite albums of mine this year :DD

I guess that's about it for this year.I wish for everyone that I know and for myself that hopefully we will all have a better year in 2014,and to be a better and stronger person than what we are today.I quote a pic which I will be posting on instagram  later:

''May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness.I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful,and don;t forget to make some art-write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can.And I hope somewhere in the next year,you surprise yourself '' 

Happy New Year.Hello 2014 ! Bring it.

-with lots of love and the best wishes,peace out-

Train encounters

I was commuting with the ktm as usual the other day (i can't remember when exactly) when I suddenly started counting how long i've been taking the train and randomly thought that i should list down my best and worst moments so far.

Best /amusing moments would probably be:
  • Me-sleeping in the train to wake up to a cute guy sitting beside me who was also sleeping and finding him leaning his head on my shoulder...and i had no clue what to do.

  • getting offered a seat at peak hours .

  • seeing a guy sitting not far from me at seremban station(starting the journey to KL) in a kinda empty train and suddenly started sobbing while singing emo songs.

  • watching kids up to their cute actions at times (despite it also being my worst moments at times where they start to scream and act like monkeys)

  • discovered a couple ring which was unintentionally left by the train window sill

  • a guy trying to ask a girl whom he does not not for her number-which he failed i think.

  • doing the random act of kindness by offering seats to old people/kids and helping an aunty take her stuff to the opposite platform cause her bag was heavy (she actually ask me to do that) as I was taking the train at another opposite platform.
  •  Met a few kind people who saw that I was sleeping like a log on the train and woke me up in case I missed my station on my way back home.

  • Meeting some people I know that I never expect to meet in a train. and then you need to plan whether to say hello to them or not.

  • just having a nice/short conversations to random ,nice people at times.

  • it is also a good day for me if there are some beautiful people (i.e good looking guy) taking the train-which is usually  VERY rare.

Worst moments:
  • Sleeping in the train to wake up and discovered the woman sitting beside me was sick and had vomitted a few times already in a plastic bag that she carry and woke up to see her vomit. was too terrified to move away.  and then noticing that a person you know was actually sitting opposite you watching the scene. But dont have the guts to wake me up and move me away =.=

  • Watching another person vomit from afar..not a nice scene at all.

  • Hearing someone lost their phone and crying about it.

  • Nasty ladies who pushed you away when the seat you were suppose to sit on should be yours. Also guys who are not gentleman and take the seat that supposedly should be yours.

  • Sleeping in the train one night where I think some guys were trying to take advantage of me (?) but I woke up just in time I think.

  • Being stuck in Serdang on a rainy night and was so tired and stressed up from class as it was very near my exam during my 2nd year and I was hungry that I almost cried at the train station.

  • Taking 3 hours to reach KL / Seremban and missing half of my class and what not.Had to stand on top of it and finally just decided to sit on the floor and study (it was also kinda near my exam ) as it was a waste of time being stucked in the train.Another time was with my sis with a heavy luggage and need to switch to the opposite platform with no life-i transformed into superwoman for a while that day.

  • Almost feel like fainting after class one day due to exam stress.Was thankful to get a seat and tried to sleep hoping that i would be better.

  • Meeting some creepy people in the train.

  • And having the whole coach to myself one day while taking the train home at night as there were not much people getting off at seremban.

  • Being in a packed train (this was before they had the new trains today) and had to stand with people having body ordours/some guys like trying to take advantage of you and someone who farted.LIKE SERIOUSLY I ALMOST DIED.I experience being sardined in a train a lot during my a-levels days and these were some of the worst experience.

  • How sometimes you wear shorts or just decide to dress more to the fashionable side and people stare at you like they have not seen a person where those kinda stuff before.It's annoying.

  • Where you intend to sleep and some people decide to speak on top of their lungs and let the whole world listen to their conversation no matter how shallow it can be at times.Or there's a screaming kid beside you or within very near vicinity to you.

  • This also applies to the situation where some people decide that they should let the whole world listen to their favourite songs by blasting the songs through their phone at max vol so that everyone can stare at him.

Note: These are just my personal experiences and I have no intention on hurting anyone's feelings in the process of writing and posting this down at all.

with lots of love,peace out

Monday, December 9, 2013

Am I Strong Enough?

All of us have our own war we need to go through and fight.We choose our battles and try to win them.Some battles were thrown onto us involuntarily.What may be like the biggest and hardest thing for one person maybe be the opposite to another person.

All in all,let us wake up with a strong and positive mentality each day to face whatever things that are thrown towards us and survive through it.

I might not have the strongest heart and mind right now,but I hope it trains me to have one soon.

When you think that there can be no more surprises that could shock you,you are so wrong at times.In just a blink of an eye,the most unexpected things happen.

I am in a way thankful that I get to learn how to get through tough times,I just can't help but wonder : Why must it all happen ? Would it be different if a different decision or step was taken?

These unanswered questions,would through a course of time help me find the answers?
I'm uncertain of this,but if it does,when the time comes,would I really wanna know the answers?
I don't know.I hope I am strong enough to get through it.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I think I need me a chill pill

'Sometimes,we find a person to share our thoughts and insecurities not because we need an advice,etc
Sometimes we just need someone to hold our hands ,and to just listen, saying 'yes' from time to time to help us ease our over thinking and insecurities-to prevent us from being held back by them' -Honey & Clover

I just love the sentences above from Honey and Clover.I think I have probably watched it over a thousand times,but I think there is a certain point in time every year where I will just re-watch the whole series (season 1 and 2) and like each time i get a different feeling after watching it..It's not like the typical anime love story actually.It talks about friendship, life and love.(that's what I personally derive from it after watching it,that is) And it's so funny and sad at the same time,that it might be the main reason why I love it so much..And the songs used in it are nice too.So,yea,I love this anime a lot.

I think in between last year and this year there has been a number of negative posts here.One of the reasons is because I feel the need to let it out somewhere,and there is actually not a lot of people who knows that I blog,so I figured this is kinda good place for me to vent out my frustrations and anger at times.

It's the last 24 days or so to 2013.This year,like a few months of the second half of the year had me dealing with a number of umm,negative / selfish emotions and whatnot. Disappointment,anger,jealousy and all.It was not thrown at me all at once,but like I guess I had to deal with these things more frequent than what I went through last year I think.

I find it interesting up to a certain extent where you get to see it from a third eye view and also experience it personally on how it would be like when you are tested on what's your limit in trusting and being patient with someone and trying to give them chances time and time again.

I learnt also that  (for me) it's a tough battle in trying to fight the green eyed monster and being genuinely happy for someone.I felt like I was being suddenly put in a weird place in trying to fight this battle since I think I never really experience this kinda thing before.It was an interesting lesson now that I've come to terms with  it. ( oh shit, am I turning into some spoilt,immature brat  here ? nooooooo,i dont wanna be one)

I think the fact that my thoughts on life and other things in general may have changed for the past one year or so and hence,it changes the way I handle things and see things in different perspective at times.I'm like another step closer to a new chapter in my life and I am trying to decide or plan as to what and how am I going to proceed next.Like the things I dream I wanna experience and stuff, of course at the same time I am worried of once a decision is made,is it a right decision or vice versa you know?

Yes,you will probably ask me to not think too much and take a chill pill,and hence I quote the first paragraph above.

Oh well,let's hope that I will be able to end this year in a good note and have a fresh and good start to 2014 soon..

-with lots of love,peace out-

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a fuck.

How much can you trust someone at times?
How much can you forgive a person and then try to built your trust on that person again?
How much respect should you then give to the person after they have broke you so many times?

I guess this depends on what personality that person has to withstand these kind of situation right?
Just dont push it to a level that has reach a person's the maximum point.
Cause once that occurred you will completely make that person wanna cut all contact with you.

As I've posted this quote/ pic on insta-- Just never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a fuck.

I feel once you have reach that point,that's the point of no return.

I don't really like dealing with situations where there is a ' he said, she said' game going on.
And then a voice inside of me suddenly tells me : hmm,next time in your career,you gotta deal a lot with this kinda shits. It then hits me --ahhh, shit, that is highly likely so gonna be true..

I guess this is just another test to help me be a stronger person.

p/s: apologies if I'm being too emo at times,I take some things to heart a tad too much maybe at times.(plus the fact that the thing that happened today occurred at a time when I am mentally and physically exhausted does not help me stay super positive)

-with lots of love,peace out-

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Life moves on

Woke up to a strange dream.
I guess it's a dream about my subconscious desires.
I'm awake and back in reality.
So, life moves on.

Hello November.
Having a Deepavali holiday and savouring every moment of not having to be at college at odd hours and days.
I totally forgot about Halloween this year until I saw people posting pics of their halloween parties and stuff.
Yes,I am that blur at times.
Law school has the effect of making you forget about the dates and days you're living in at times.

Am still addicted to GD's Coup D'etat's album..It's that good cause I listen to it almost every day.
The new songs addiction now  which is on the 'very serious' level would be:
 Eminem ft. Rihanna - The Monster
Lorde : The Love Club EP and Pure Heroine album (which means all of her songs are awesome)
Miley Cyrus -Bangerz album is actually pretty decent.
Kahi- It's Me album
The songs from Team A and B of WIN
The Neighbourhood- Sweather Weather and their cover of Cry Me A River (by JT) and Say My Name(by Destiny Child)
Max Frost-White Lies
Caught A Ghost-Time Go (thanks to the drama Suits)
Epik High ft. Lee Hi-It's Cold (polar remix)

and I'm slowly getting hooked on:
GD ft Jung Hyung Don -Going to Try
Park Myung Soo,Primary and Gaeko of DD- I Got C
and other songs by the infinity challenge freeway song festival  which I am searching for their eng lyrics.

1 more month or so till the year ends,I feel like attending one or two concerts before the year ends,but tak ada concert kaki..AND I wanna go for FMFA 2014 also.. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis is COMING! But-still searching for a partner in crime.It's sad at times.. to find a person who have the same wavelength of the type of songs you listen to I feel...*sigh*

Did I also mention that a few weeks back,I dont know what got into me but I've been suddenly yearning of going away for a short vacation.The beach,or shopping or just some sight seeing somewhere.I dont know why.Maybe it's cause I was feeling exhausted of my CLP classes and it at times makes one feel like you don't have a life (?) and couple that with seeing pictures on people on fb or instagram who are jet setting here and there for a vacation just adds fuel to the fire you know?

Ok..enough ranting and self-pity -- as I mentioned above,life moves on..I still have enough positivity and happiness about the little things in life to feel sane and  not be totally depressed.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Isn't it a wonder?

Sometimes I can't help but wonder
If lost opportunities and moments
Are something due to one's passive nature
Or is it a sacrifice one need to make
In hopes of getting something greater?

Yes,perhaps one should embrace carpe diem.
However,there are obstacles and I'm not bold enough.

Is it something I really want ? or
Is it just a mere greed of trying to obtain it?
Or could it be due to an envious feeling?
It maybe a mixture of all three.

And so I can't help but wonder.
 I try to hold on to the believe
And tell myself everyone has a different story mapped out for them.
The ones I draw out in my mind under the title called 'wish',
Is it the same as the one in the process of being mapped out in reality?

I can't help but wonder about this.

-With lots of love peace out-

Monday, October 21, 2013

A day to remember: 041013

I wanted to blog about this as soon as the day has arrived or like a day after it..But then I was really busy with class and exhausted and then I keep telling myself let's just do it the next day and that next day has finally arrived: today.

What was it that I wanted to blog about here? MY GRADUATION!!!! YES, I AM FINALLY DONE WITH THE EXTERNAL PROGRAMME FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF LONDON graduating with a LAW DEGREE!!!! I could not be any more happy and relieved.

I started out for this course,during first year,still being able to cope with all the subjects thrown at me..Did just ok for it and everyone said that second year was going to be the toughest and third year will be the easiest ( easier than second year). Well,second year was definitely HARD. Plus the fact that its the year where you know that it will count towards your degree honors makes it even more so. I remembered I was so stressed up at times,that at times,after class or so,I just went home and watch a sad movie and just cry to release all the pent up stress and fears.This may seem a weird way for you guys maybe,but it works for me.Music of course plays a HUGE part in helping me go through it as well..The relief of getting through 2nd year was certainly huge as it was the first time in my life,that i was super nervous and worried on the day the release of my results,and it being released at 7pm was certainly a test of my patience and sanity.I cried as soon as my brain has processed my results...It was tears of relief,and it felt like a huge weight was just lifted of my shoulders.

With a positive mindset of I have survived the toughest year for a law degree (what everyone has been saying) I went into 3rd year with a little bit more happiness being assured that people will usually do better than their second year and it being easier. Well, it wasn't.. Whoever who said it was,for me that it,THEY WERE LYING. How is Jurisprudence easy man?!! come on, its legal philosophy.To answer 4 question on it for exams i.e basically like writing an essay on it--- I was worried like crazy when the day arrived for me to sit for that exam..When people asked me if I was prepared: My answer was: I dont know what I know is enough and I dont know what I know is correct.I went into the exam not having to memorize anything..Just an understanding on whatever stuff that I have read and some opinion of mine on what it was,what I felt was right to me and was not so right to me...It's definitely my most insecure paper that I had to sit for an exam.The stress level for 2nd and 3rd year is basically more or less the same--the more scary part for 3rd year is that you know its your final year and you just dont wanna screw it up right at the final one you know.

I was more worried for my 3rd year results than my second year I think.And they made it more awesome by releasing it at 10pm this year.Having gone through it for 2 years before that,UOL has this opposite and unexpected effect on your results.Its so unpredictable at times that its just best to prepared yourself for the worst and not have high expectations.Thank god I was working for like 9 hours or so that day,so,at least it took my mind off of wanting to kill myself with the wait.The moment came, and as usual,the first thing I checked was whether I passed everything and after seeing that I did,I saw that I am graduating with a second lower.And then I checked my marks and I was disappointed as the subjects where I thought I did not bad I got low marks and vice versa.And my results were worse than my second year.So ,yeah.... tears of disappointment and regret.I know I sound like such an ungrateful brat..I should be thankful that I got through it.That I am graduating...But there is greed in all human of always after achieving what you have got,to want more.

My family were really proud of me.I can feel it really and the sad thing that I regret was not doing better to really deserve the fact of how proud they were of me.My mum was very excited of my graduation ceremony and keep asking me what I am gonna wear and all.It turns out my sis was excited too as she was the one who asked my mum on what flowers to order and stuff.

I must admit that I was really looking forward to it as well.I dont know if you guys remember,but I blogged about attending my friend's graduation and working for my college's graduation last year or 2 years ago,and I see some people were so nonchalant about it I was puzzled. Inside of my brain,I was thinking : COME ON! It's the day where you are finally and officially graduating from your degree course! Like it's such and awesome and certainly not an easy thing to do! And I was imagining on how happy and excited I would be..

I couldnt believe that the moment was finally here.It was a bit of a hassle in the process of choosing what to wear and stuff.But it was definitely a moment to remember.And I did makeup for myself for the first time..And I must say,it was interesting and I need to brush up my make up skills. And I need to have more confident in myself.

I died in my heels for being in it for almost 6 hours! I brought my flats with me and when I finally decided to change into my pair of flats,my feet felt it it could bend back to its straight flat shape back..I seriously salute girls who could walk in them all day or run in them.At times it was hurting,I think I was just crying and screaming internally.

I really liked Mr.Rajan's speech and when he cried,it just made me wanna hug him.! adding the fact that he looked like a big teddy bear make me wanna do it even more so..Hahahaaha. Since my name started with 'C' i was seated amongst my classmate whom I was not really close with..But being the person that I am,who will die or boredom not talking--made a friend that day.Hahhahahahaa.

Went and had dinner at Gastro Sentral at Le Meridien (the hotel just beside Hilton-where my graduation took place) and had my burger! And it was AWESOMEEEE.hahaahaha.My parents didnt wanna go thorugh the driving hassle on KL on a Friday evening/night..So we took the ktm home to arrive in Seremban with no electricity until about 2 am in the morning.What an epic ending to my day.

I would like to thank my parents and sibling for always being there for me.Sending me to the train stations and putting up with my mood tantrums at times and what not and also for helping me de-stress from time to time and giving me space during my exam period.I still remember my mum telling me after I was done with my second year exam,that during my exam period,she felt like at times she was talking to me- she felt that I was just being there physically but my mind was someplace far away.Hahahahaa,and she was freaked out by that and did not dare to bother me much.My dad who secretly comfort me if I were to come back and said that the paper I sat for was hard and who bought me my ipod( my saviour) and also an iphone.And also sponsored my overseas vacation.My sis who never failed to irritate me and make me laugh and also provide good advice from time to time.My bro who seem to be amazed from the fact that the stuff that his sister is studying is really hard.

I would like to thank all my friends who supported me.My sstwo.I could never be more thankful and blessed of being able to get to know you..For accepting me-who is lacking in so many ways..Who are so patient in dealing with my blur-personality and letting me stay at your house and fetching me out to various places in KL and like having consideration of me being from Seremban and what not..And also of course for helping me in my studies and informing me on all the interesting gossips.And also for hearing me out about my insecurities and assuring me that its ok.Oh,and also putting up with my kpop land concert addiction.Cannot believe it has been for almost 4 years or so that we have know each other.I couldnt thank you guys enough really.

   I would like to thank my besties(not to say that my sstwo arent,you guys are too) : Ms.Sweet for taking the time to meet up with me and having and belanja-ing me lunch and then accompanying me to Hilton Sentral and helping me with my robe and hat to which I was totally clueless about and then hanging out with me for a while more before the ceremony started and also giving me a gift and making a card for me despite being busy for your job know i love you A LOT RIGHT ?! haahahhaa..Would also like to thank Ms.Lee for taking the time to give me opinion on my baju,shoes and make up and hearing complains and what not,despite being in Seoul.I think it is save to say that I have known you guys for more than 10 years and the stuff you guys have thought me..How to be more bolder and what not.For always putting up with me--being late and the concert addiction,the indecisiveness and all.And also for not failing to give me surprises from time to time and also knowing me best on the stuff I like and  all the memalukan moments.Hahahaha.And always hearing out my complaints and self-pitying  about my UOL days,and now my CLP days and always assuring me that I would do just find.And already hiring me as your personal legal adviser! (i expect a payment ok?)hahahaha.thank you sooo much.

I would like to take the time to thank my long time friend: Jue Ann here too.Dont know if you are reading this,but thank you for hearing me out at times of me being stress and knowing the fact that you're gonna be a psychologist and hearing me out and giving me advice and all certainly is assuring and of course taking the time to keep in touch with me! Hahahaa.Congratulations on your graduation as well!!! All the best there in Singapore.I know you can do it =)))

Lastly I would like to thank all my lecturers who had thought me.They were seriously my inspiration.Like me and ah yee was interviewed a bit after the graduation ceremony by some BAC people and the interviewer asked me-what made you continue to go on till the very end?  And I said the lecturers.I think he was like a bit surprised by my answer.I said like seriously,looking at them,being at the side-being able to teach us and doing such a good job at it,made me preserve on..Like I think you guys may have heard me mentioning about one of my lecturers: Ms.Puvan--like I seriously look up to her.She is so good at what she does,and the assurance that she gave me as her student-is just amazing.Ms.Sanjeetha was also one of my inspiration! She is just sooo cool.hahaha.And Mr.Rajan is such a humble person despite of who he really is,just make me feel like no matter how great you are,humility is key.There is no need to be arrogant or a show off to people who are at times not worth knowing.If  you're good at what you do,people will see it.

Also,not forgetting,I would of course need to thank my brain cells.I mean come on,I couldn't have done it without them..You guys have fought a hard and crazy war.The toughest one is yet to come.And I hope I can make it!!!

041013 is truly a memorable day for me as it is a day which officially marks the fact that I have graduated with a law degree.

p/s: seriously bertekad to not procrastinate too much now for my CLP... maytheforcebewithme!

-with lots of love,peace out-

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Truly blessed.

September have been a good month I must say.I started the first week by feeling a bit sedih as the best friend Ms.Lee left for Korea and I need to cope with the fact that I am now kekurangan a partner in crime for many stuff..But her absence doesnt feel so bad as we skype from time to time and talk to each other almost every day...the only thing that is missing is the physical presence you know? And also the 'oh-I-envy-you-a-LOT-right-now' and 'why did I decide to take law' moments from time to time..But other than that,it's all good.

And I have been very very very lucky this month,I must say.. Firstly,I was not having high hopes at all of attending world stage this year,but at the very last minute,I manage to win a pair of tics from Astro,and I went !! Attended world stage with Mich ! It was a bit of a messy and complicated process of arranging how to get there all,but the day finally come, and all went well =D It was raining but we got in late,and didnt really got drenched in the rain..

As we were walking to the concert venue (inside sunway lagoon already) I was saying to mich : "i hope EXO is the second one to start performing,or something like that' went suddenly the security guy or the worker for worldstage turned,looked at me and EXO is performing now..They've been on stage for about 10 mins now..You better hurry if you wanna see them- and his friend said,-Go! Run,run! Run for your life!!!!! Hahahahha... And i did a little...manage to hear them sing half of History, and then 3.6.5 and the song that I looked forward the most is actually Growl.! There were lots of people.. and i was in the back..But it was all good as I have saw them once before in GDA.

After that,it was Far East Movement time!! I was very excited as I have a kinda huge crush on Kev Nish!!! And let's say they really put up a good show!! IT was so high! or like I was really high.! hahahahahaa..Coincidentally I was really addicted to their new song called The Illest and hence was even more happy when I get to hear it live !! :D

I am not really a big fan of Robin Thicke-but of course there is a need to hear him sing Blurred Lines live!! But his live performance just blew me away!! His charisma and aura is just soooooo SEXY that I was just just just so mesmerized by him!! And he is REALLY GOOD LIVE!!!  The crowd was not as hyped up as they were when Robin performed compared to FM's performance as Robin's songs are much slower..

But all in all,its good.And would really like to thank michele for accompanying me to attend this and for sending me home and all. You know I love you ;))))  I really had a good time =))

Monday, September 23, 2013

Let's Do This

Envy. I cant help but to feel so.
I have no one else to blame but myself.
I didn't work hard enough and I did not 'want' it.
I just hope and wish that i would get it.
Such unequal thought between reality and dreams,would definitely not come true.

I comfort myself that I have done well..(not well,just ok).
I tell myself-whatever has happened,its the past.
I should move forward and not dwell on the past.
Yes,let's do that.
Let's make sure I dont experience this feeling of bitterness again.

I know I am my own worst enemy and also the harshest critic of myself
That's how I try and strive to achieve what I want and deem as perfection.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Monday, September 16, 2013

What have I got myself into?

Ello people. Did you enjoy the story that i wrote in my previous post? My apologies again if you feel its the worst ever and a completely waste of your time.I just realized I have only ever attempt to write 2 stories in my life and all was written for fun..Another story was posted in my blog too.It was written during my last year in high school but was sadly not published in my school magazine and so I decided to post it in my blog instead... Hahahaa.I just re-read it and its completely different from the one I just posted below..If you are interested in reading it-- you can do so here .

Anyways,I have just started my CLP class 2 weeks ago. What do I think of it so far : It's scary,stressful and very bulky. The subject matter is no joke. I have 5 papers to sit for exam-but these papers are further broken down or branched into like 9/10 subjects.. And my study period for all of them : My lectuers will be finished by February or March. Is it crazy? It completely is.

The amount of info that I need to learn,memorize and cram into my brain and then use it for my exam-just the thought of it makes me feel very nervous and stressed up.. A number of people are working while studying this. One of the reason is because classes are only on weekends and tutorials are either in around 5.30 pm or like 7.30 pm for part time students.. So there is actually a lot of free time and some were of the thought that, hey,i might as well work to gain some experience or money.. I kinda have the same thought for one moment too,but then ,my sis was against the idea of me working as she has a couple of friends who did law and just told my sis to tell me that it's best to just devote my time to study... And seeing the amount of work that will be cut up for me,I feel so too.

I have declared ( to myself and for myself ) that Monday is my off day and for other days,i will be starting to revise my studies.. This shall apply today itself. I am really very very worried and scared ( more to feeling horrified) of the thought of failing my CLP ... as the passing rate is like 20% or so and the amount of students in my class is like 400 . Am very worried that I cannot make it. So, I shall make sure I work hard to achieve it and this time I will really make sure that I keep my word on this.

I dont want to fail and study everything all over again.Also,the exam fees and all are so damn expensive that makes me feel super guilty if I dont try and pass it the first time.

I was thinking to myself the other day that UOL seems easier to me now somehow (?) --DOnt get me wrong- UOL is hard like hell,just that I feel CLP is like on another level.. also CLP is more based on memory work and requires you to like vomit it all out in the exam.. Sounds easy right? Well it is if you have a photographic memory and the ability to write very fast to answer 4 questions in a 3 hour exam.

I was very very freaked out that in just 4 classes (2 weeks of classes) that my lecturer is done teaching 5 chapters, and plans to finish another 5 this coming week.. Plus the fact that he gives the 'how hard and tough the exam is gonna be,and if you dont start doing your work now and all,you are writing your own karma and leading yourself tot he road of failure' lecture and how if you do your work last min you are so not gonna make it and CLP is completely different from your LLB days (to which he calls LLB as lagi lagi bohong) really makes me feel stressed out...Which makes me think of this question : Why did I study law? Is this all worth it ? Is this something I really want and is it worth it ? It's a mixture of yes and no really.But,for one thing, it's too early to give up,and I wont be as although I am very impatient with stuffs and tend to not finish things that I set to do at times and tend to get bored easily at stuffs at times also, I will not be a quitter just because it's very tough... As there is a saying that goes : A winner never quits,and a quitter never wins

But,I do have my source of letting  de-stressing myself like listening and checking out a lot of songs,reading blogs, and watching dramas and drooling and gushing about hot guys and all-- so its good for now.

p/s: am trying to revert back my sleeping time pattern, not happening so well right now as it''s already 2 am now..urghhh

-with lots of love, and worries,peace out-

That awkward moment

-Awkward is defined as:Difficult to effect; uncomfortable; Marked by or causing embarrassment or discomfort.- There's this one awkward moment that's recorded in my mind like using a video camera. At times it will be replayed on my  mind like a broken recoding tape.

I commute by train to my college on a daily basis.In the beginning the journey was a combination of nervousness and fascination.One because I was always worried that I couldn’t make it on time to my classes due to a wrong estimation of time.Another was I get to see some nice view when I travel.

After about 6 months,I considered myself to be a ‘’seasoned traveler’’ or shall I say a ‘’regular consumer’’ of taking the train. I realised that by taking the train,one need to have entertainment and food. My ipod is my saviour of life in train(if you’re the type can’t really much live without music) or a book or a game device or the BEST thing that one could ask, another person with them to talk to).Also,some water or tid bits with them as delays of the train and what not at peak hours can make you faint either due to not having enough water or food.

The then earnest me during the first few times of taking the train slowly turned into a person who treated the train as if it’s my home( it’s a 1 hour and 20 minutes ride usually).As I can’t stand  not doing anything in the train, I usually have a book and my ipod with me.Or I’ll just sleep. Some awkward or embarrassing encounters either made my day or made me want to crawl inside a hole and hide in it.
One of the most awkward moment that happened got me smiling till today. There was one day when I was staring into space when the train stopped at one of the stations, and a really cute guy got in and was standing right in front of me. The first awkward moment happened where our eyes meet accidentally and looking at him in the eyes for like 3 seconds or so felt like 5 minutes and we broke eye contact immediately afterwards. It happened again when both of us were ‘’caught’’ looking at each other again. Although it was an awkward moment, I was secretly happy as I was having a rough day on that day.I guessed as Lady Luck was on my side that day, the cute guy soon got a seat right next to me!!  

By that time, I was feeling tired and sleepy, and my station being the last station in that train ride,I was soon was fast asleep in the train. Little did I know the cute guy beside me was sleeping too. I thought he had got out at another station. When I woke up from my short sleep drowsily, I saw this old man smiling amusingly at me. For a second, I was puzzled. I thought to myself, did I sleep with my mouth open or did I do something embarrassing while I was sleeping ?? I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide if I did.
Then, I realised that somehow, my shoulder felt heavy. It was only then that I realised that the cute guy was still seating beside me ,sleeping with his head on my shoulders! I was embarrassed, shocked and happy all at the same time. I was screaming ‘’OHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDD” internally. I did not know what to do and just let him sleep with his head on my shoulder.The old man sitting opposite of me had seem to be amused by my confused or mixed expression on my face.

Not long after, he woke up and realised that he was sleeping on my shoulder and immediately sat really straight afterwards in an awkward pose.

 To make things worse, the old man sitting opposite of us, told us that we were such a cute couple. I think both of us turned tomato red. That moment was so awkward that both of us were just speechless as to deny that statement made. Thankfully we reached the last station and he apologised for unconsciously sleeping on my shoulder. I told him it was ok and said I myself did not realised that he was doing so as I too was sleeping. I think both of us imagined that scene in our minds that both of us started laughing.
We said goodbye to each other and went on our separate ways.It sadly did not have a fairy tale ending where we ended up exchanging numbers or bumping into each other again.Although,(I think) this may not be the most creative story out there,it is for me, one awkward moment  that I would definitely remember for a very long time in my life.

The story above is a story I wrote to enter a contest like 1 year or 2 years ago.At the last moment,I decided it was a bit too lame and all,and decided to not submit it..It's based on something that really happened,though some parts were of course exaggerated and of course the last paragraph is completely not true.It's just an extension of my dream of how I thought it will be- like something that only happens in the movies you know? Hahaha. Ayways,this is the second story that I have attempted to write in my whole life,so... I wanna put it down somewhere and in a way let it be 'published' for someone to read?

So,thank you if you have taken the time to read this. It  means something to me.My apologies if you think its one of the worst or most boring or most predictable or most lame story that you have ever read in your life.

- with lots of love,peace out-

Thursday, August 29, 2013

In remembrance: Lee Eon

I am always a bit late to post this up.But that doest mean I dont remember you..It was just that day that I re-watched coffee prince.. It's the 5th in peace,Lee Eon

-with lots of love,peace out-

Tuesday, August 27, 2013


The best friend is now in the plane- highly likely in a deep sleep on the way to Korea for the next 4 months or so. She's there for an exchange programme. Cannot believe that the moment is finally here !

Am so happy for her. Ahhh,the things that she will be experiencing! am excited for her. I love that country a lot,so i hope she will get to experience it awesomely like the way i did.. At the same time, i envy her .Hahaahahaa. Oh the concerts and stuffs that she will get to go,buy and what not, booooooooooo.

But it's all good.Wishing her the very best there,and am looking forward to hear stories :D You will be fine there ! And as I have stated, am just a text/tweet/skype call away from the virtual world.

Take care there.Hope to meet you there maybe? I dont know...Maybe not.We'll see.Not having any hopes at all .

p/s:  Am looking for a best friend replacement or a boyfriend now.anyone? heeee ;D

-with lots of love and am gonna miss you soooooooo much,peace out-

A perfect distraction, a first vacation together

Due to my love for procrastination and August being a kinda busy crazy month,am being a bit behind in my updates..This post is about my (first) vacation with my best friends since after high school if I am not mistaken.All 3 of us are studying different courses and colleges and hence it's a bit hard at times to find a time where all of us are free.But finally we manage to find one. =D

It was not a long -time-ago planned trip.In fact,it was a surprise/random decision.I nearly did not join me homies and I really wanted to go and thankfully my parents didn't really object but just asked me to make a decision and lo and behold,I decided to go... Am prepared to not be employed with KFC but a middle ground was reached and that I dont care that  the solution was that I will getting less pay than expected.

I would say this is the first time I have been on a free and easy trip not having to plan anything.A BIG thank you to Ms.Sweet's friend,Nat would brought us around and all.It is definitely a super plus point visiting a country where English is not their main language and having a local friend there to bring you around..

Oh,I think I have not state in this post yet so far where did I go.Hahahahaa.I went to Bangkok.Never been there before, heard it's a shopping haven and of course nothing beats the Thai food there as that's where it originated from. Truth to both statements made : ITS TRUE!! it's da bomb people!!

I love clothes and all,but I am not the kind of person who goes out shopping one day and can come back to 1 big bag of clothes and all.I am usually a very indecisive and ( sometimes) a kedekut shopper. I dont really buy a lot of stuff one time and would usually think for a kinda long time before I really purchase something--unless it's something I have really been searching/wanting for years--- like the adidas relace low women shoes-- found them at Stadium,KLCC with a 50% discount sale the other day! I literally gasped ! I was just doing some random window shopping while waiting for Ms.Lee who went to meet her coordinator at college. Was just looking around before settling myself at Kinokuniya to read some book.. Ahh! I have seriously been liking this shoes for years (yeah,for real) but ended up didnt buying them when I first found it in Malaysia as it was too expensive.

Short derivation aside,I had a REALLY GOOD TIME AT BANGKOK! Stayed at Pratunam area and that area itself is enough for shopping!! A sad thing is that,some t-shirts there are a bit small for me (although some are really pretty) due to the size differences between malaysian and thai people there..especially the girls...Girls there are small sized,while I am a giant compared to them =.=

I love this place called Asiatique...It was a random decision I think to go there...Took a boat there...And we did not have to pay for it! The reason: They are sending you to a place to spend money--so its a free ride.Hahahahaa. I love this reasoning. The place has a huge ferris wheel that while looking at it in a boat on the way to Asiatique-it reminds me of a scene from Honey and Clover... I dont know why,but it just did...And I think this may sound weird,but the clouds there are pretty.Hahahaha. And the weather there is oh so hot thats it crazy!

And i love the fruit juices there! it's so yummy and cooling! Was introduced to banana smothie by Ms.Lee and it tastes AWESOME!! that i am now a bit addicted to it!! Gotta find if there are good ones in KL and of course I shall try and make some myself too :D

Our craving for fried chicken was seriously deepened by Ms.Lee too and thankfully that craving was satisfied before we head home...Shall definitely visit Bangkok again in the near future for shopping and eating purposes ! It's a nice and kinda cheap place to go vacation with friends =)))

 Pictures of how awesome the trip was and gushes about it can be seen in my social network sites if you did not notice. =))

Oh ya! and I forgot about this! When I was at Asiatique,we witnessed a proposal and there was this girl-acting like a moving statute who was giving out roses by  the stalk itself and I happily went to take one and i came back all happy towards my friends,and the proposal kinda continued and all but it turns out in the end,I need to give back the rose to the bride to be for like a sign of wishing them happiness.I was a bit disappointed for a moment,but i did at last give her back...Wanted to wish the bride to be congratulations,but her friend suddenly came up to her and she burst into more tears,so i just quickly gave it to her and ciao..OH, and did i say roses/flowers in bangkok is like super cheap?!! We saw a bouquet of fresh roses there for like only rm5 !!! Hahahaha.As I think I have not shared this story in my blog before...Let me tell you about this story

One day,I went out shopping with Ms.Lee at klcc/pavilion area.As we were making our way to the lrt station at klcc,beside auntie anne's there is the cold storage entrance,I suddenly saw this girl emerging with a bouquet of roses with all the stalks and a bit of leaves still on them. and she was looking so so so SMITTEN and happy with her boyfriend following her from behind..Everyone kinda like stop a bit and look at them,including me! And after that,according to Ms.Lee-- I could not stop talking about that scene I saw..
I was telling her, ''I dont care,at least once in my lifetime,I must receive a bouquet of flowers like her! It's just so sweet and all..'' And to which after hearing this,I think both the best friend, went and said-- jo ann,you should not fall for this kinda tricks you know.. Haahahaahahaa... But the bouquet of roses was just so beautiful people! I am not really a big enthusiast of flowers...But,you know,it was just like a bouquet like that--it doesnt have those like normally sold at the flower shop wrapped with those plastic papers...Its just so so so much more nicer! And oh course,my very awesome best friends did offer to get me one,since I cannot believe my eyes as to how cheap it is,but i thought to myself,it's not nice wasting their money just giving me one like this for no apparent reason,so.. tak apa :D though I do APPRECIATE their kind thought of doing so! I think I have recently discovered and concluded that I am such a sucker for romantic stuffs/events that I know its not good.And stuff like this at times just happens in movies,or guys use this kinda tricks just to get the girl..BUT..I cant help it at times... booooooooooooooo....I know it's bad..akibat watching too much romantic events on korean shows and stuff you know..*sigh* i shall try and convince myself to not fall easily for these kinda things anymore.

p/s: a big thank you to ms.sweet's parents ,ms.sweet herself,ms.lee and nat for making it awesome and such a memorable trip for me and also my parents for sponsoring me  =))

oh and did I say the trip was 2 days before my results for my final year exam was out ? !! It was definitely a perfect distraction to make me not think too much though during my trip-- I started to get well wishes and what not from my friends and college. =.=

-with lots of  love,peace out-

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Fried chicken anyone?

I was kinda determined to find work during my holidays this year,but after being a lazy for a month after my exams and having certain problems with transport and some not so good luck,i landed a job for 2 weeks at KFC which was not far from my house.

Yeah,it maybe a bit weird to some or a shock to some maybe? but i wanted to earn some money and the pay for this 2 weeks job is good.It was during the raya week,and since all the workers at KFC are malay,i guess they needed some contract workers..

My job is working outside--as in the front of the shop which includes,cleaning after tables after people have finished eating and like sweeping and mopping floors and stuff.Its a simple job,unless you dont do housework at home.Its  just on a bigger scale and what is needed is pure labour contribution from one.

However,I technically just worked there for 8 days as I took 4 days off work (2 days were my leave and 2 days MC) as I decided after much contemplation to join my besities to go to Bangkok! It's our first trip together since finishing high school as we,finally are all on holiday break and finally have the time..I almost didnt go to this trip as I was scheduled to work at KFC but then deep down,my heart was telling me that I would regret big time if I didnt go.Thankfully, my parents didn't have much objection to this as well.

Working at KFC is a good experience for me and in a way I could cross it out of my invisible checklist of having worked at a fast food restaurant in my life.Hahahaha. The workers there are all nice people though I feel very old there,excluding my managers and stuff.I was one of the oldest workers there... I got the chance to try interacting with kids who are younger than me for like 3-5 years?  I was certainly a bit worried at first about a potential amount of generation gap.Also,some of the colleagues there are a bit surprised as to why I am working there,--i remember one colleague-Hakim whom I think just blurted out after finding out what I was studying and stuff and said to me without filtering his thoughts I guess: 'Why are you working here?!' I was amused hearing him question me that,and just answered : Hmmm,I need some money( and inside,i was thinking--working for such a short period money with a pay they are offering me sounds good,and I dont mind the hard work.)

However,after talking to them and getting to know them further, I realized that they were actually very mature for their age.. Their take on life,the things they have been through and their dreams and aspirations and how they see things are different from me and the people I usually hang out with. I am amazed and in awe as to how simple they lead their life at times..Waking up,going to work-which has minimal politics,helping their colleagues and treating them all like one big family and then go home.Earning as much money is mostly their main aim,but that doesnt mean that they hate their job...They seem to enjoy doing their job and take them seriously as well..This is what make me feel amazed.Here,I am myself dreading about my future job and how tough and all its going to be that I think theoratically for now,I  partly loathe my to be job.But these people are different.

Also,it made me realized and putting it in a crude manner,the pay there is actually not super high,but yet the people there are so enthusiastic and willing to do this kind of work(its seriously hard labour).It also made me realize through some observation,some people who frequented the place-some are really nice,appreciative people,while some are the total opposite.

I feel they are just nice,simple people there,and certainly would miss working there,though it involves long hours and hard work.

Also,just when I though chivalry was dead,the guys there proved me wrong..All in all,I had an awesome time working there and this will definitely be saved in my memory of the times I spent there.Also made some interesting discovery about characters and personalities that I like.

p/s: It was interesting getting to see first hand how a fast food restaurant works and let's just say I wouldn't be eating for some time now as I am entitled to 1 meal everyday for the past 2 weeks at kfc that I all my cravings for it has been FULLY satisfied for now.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Friday, August 23, 2013

What are you thankful for?

I just got to know another shocking and sad news about a friend of mine.
I was stumped for a moment.
When you think you got it bad in life at times
Like why are you put to test on certain challenges,that you feel its unfair that auch challenges are thrown at you.
At times like this,I would try and remind myself at times that some people got it much more worse than you that your problem is not really much of a problem..

I try to remind myself time and again now that i should always be thankful that I am who and what I am today and that I should cherish and be thankful about everything that has been thrown towards me.To try and appreciate all the little things in life and not to take things for granted at times.

To my friend,I hope you recover soon and be completely cleared of what you are going through right now.I truly admire and salute you for being so strong and positive.. no words can really express how much i salute you for being so brave in fighting cancer.(leukemia)My prayers and most sincere wish goes out to you.

With lots of love ,hope you will be well soon,peace out-

Wednesday, August 21, 2013


Am 4 days late.But happy birthday to the one and only Mr.Kwon Ji Yong.You know I love you a lot.(well,technically you dont,but almost the whole world that knows me knows this)

More updates soon!

-with lots of love,peace out-

Thursday, August 15, 2013


Today on August 15th, I woke up early as I have work (switched shifts with my colleague) and went to work...As the hours passed,towards the afternoon I get more and more nervous...Butterflies starts forming in my stomach,i get goosebumps from time to time and started getting restless.. I keep going to my locker room and check my phone for any news about my results...

The radio station that I usually listened to at work has been surprising as well..For about a week working,the radio station has only played GD's song (michigo) once-and that was on my first day of work...I was so surprised that they played it once again yesterday night as I was about to finish my work and twice today!! IT made me all happy and I took it as a good sign.!

Received an sms from my college that results will be out after 5pm..And  following last year,I was predicting it will be out around 7pm ...and hence that was the reason I switched shift with my collegague as I could go home by 6pm... Who knows,lo and behold, UOL updated at their fb account that results will be out at 3pm British time and that means,it will only be released at 10 pm Malaysian time...

Ohhh the horror,stress and nervousness that I have been going through all day is further prolonged..BOOOOO. By 9.45pm, my bestie whatsapp me and said results are out and a classmate of mine did well in it!

I freaked..I paced in my room a little before saying out a little prayer and start to refresh my email and all to the link of the result page!When I got in,the first thing I look was whether I pass and then slowly start to analyze my marks and all.. To be honest,I was surprised to see that some marks for some subjects that I thought I may have scored higher,I got lower...And my results was worse compared to my 2nd year...and then I scrolled down the page it there it was written that I have graduated with a second class honors(lower division) my first honest feeling: disappointment..

I know I have no one else to blame but myself..But still,there is a little flicker of hope of doing better in my exams you know.

But all in all,I am very happy,thankful and relieved and cant believe  that I will be graduating with a law degree and have finally survived through this crazy,stressful law course..It was a horrifying yet fun journey! The friends that I made and have gone thorugh this with me and the lecturers that inspired me and scared the hell out of me..I am truly grateful and thankful that I get to meet and have these people in my life..=))

-with lots of love and feeling very blessed,peace out-

Is it ok?

Hello people! Didnt realise that i have not updated my blog for almost 2 months now! my bad! I have a quite boring/routined-based life at times.hahahahaa..BUT,will have a LOT of things to update now..that i will break them into separate parts.. =)))

After my exams,i have been enjoying my holidays being a very lazy person...But deep inside me I start to feel scared and insecure...Looking thorugh social network sites of my friends-it seems that all of them in one way or another is moving so much forward in life compared to me.

I feel like I dont know what I will do or go after I am finished with my degree and all...It's like all of them are swimming forward in the ocean and am about to reach their own destination at mainland soon while I am slowly drowning in the ocean...

In other words,I feel suffocated...This grappling fear that everyone seem to have a plan already and I feel I have yet to have a concrete one.

Being the person that I am,I usually just keep these thoughts to myself to which was noticed by my loved ones...And after letting it out,I feel much better and I then see that maybe it's ok to not be ok at times...

Monday, June 24, 2013

He's the one and only

As many of you guys who followed in my various social network sites already know that I am a HUGE fan of Big Bang,and my thick skinned claim that Mr.Kwon is my husband. Hence,without hesitation that when he announced that he was going to have a solo world tour,I will definitely be going!!

I think this is the first time I have bought a VIP seating tic, and yes,I spent a bomb on it.You will think I am crazy if you know how much I spent on it.For safety reasons I shall not reveal them here..I actually asked a friend of friend of mine to help me purchase the ticket as I was having my exams during the whole month of May and had no time to waste to go buy the tic.

Though I really appreciate her willingness of helping me-I paid for that help and the whole ticket thing turned a bit ugly and at one point in time,it totally ruined my mood to attend this concert.I tell myself that there will be no next time where if i wanna ask for help,she would be my very very last resort to go to.

Come on the day of the concert,I went tot he venue quite early to collect the ticket and my merchandise that I bought .GD came out with a limited  edition vinyl disk as like a commemorative token of his world tour.

I was very very tempted to attend his rehearsal session where you need to top up rm100 under celcom..But after much indecisiveness,I finally decided not too and Ms.Lee played a great role in it.Though,she batu api aku lepas tu sikit,cissssss. Hahahahaahhaaa. i am just joking.The weather was VERY  stuffy that day and I was feeling a little bit sleepy and all during mid-day but was nonetheless pump up when I was in the venue and the moment the lights went out!

After that we went to klcc/pavilion area to chill and stay away from the haze ...and around 7.30pm we decided to go into the venue.Our seats where at the far end of our row and we were a bit disappointed,but it turned put to be a nice spot after all.The spotlight was facing us,so it was a very nice view when GD came to the front wi the spotlight behind him!!

The lightings for his concert is really really beautiful...I seriously LOVE IT!! And though it may not seemed based on pictures that I saw hi. Like super close or something,but seeing him there,live theview was seriously very very HD!!! And I love the venue also as the floor was not a grass field as like during the big bang's alive tour!  And also there was a lot of room to actually jump.hahahaha.

The crowd was not as much as compared to Alive tour,but nevertheless it was AWESOME! It was a really really awesome concert!! When he came out ,I just died!!! Many of my fav song of his were performed!! One of my fav stage of his would have to be when he was singing Obsession and She's Gone..Like before  he came out,they were playing on the screen of him running and so,his face in black and white---He was JUST SOOOOOO HOTTTTT!! And the gazes he kept goving the camera during the performance, i just went crazy.hahahahaaha.

The happiest moment for me would be hearing him sing This Love.I got a little bit teary duringt hat part as I just couldn't believe my eyes and ears as to what I am witnessing.This memory has been safely recorded and keep in my brain and heart.I have been listening to this songs literally for years and have watch many of the live ver of this on youtube,and being able to finally hear it live myself--The feeling was just indescribable...seriously i cant really put this in words.its just too awesome,and surreal.

I LOVE Taeyang's performance as well.He was sooo hyped up during his performance and his dancing is just too awesome!!!!!!!!!! I wished he sang wedding dress,but its all good.Still love his performance.Ooh and I also LOVE his all white outfit,,,gahhhhhhhh~~~~~~ *faintts*

The concert started on time and finished around 10.15 p. or so....It was sooo epic that I didnt want it to end *criesss* It was just too nice...I was screaming and jumping and whatnot..hahahahaha.If I
could turn back time and re-live the moment again,I TOTALLY WOULD!!!!!

The side effect of concert are: i feel like an old person the next day having exert a lot of hand and leg muscle during the concert.hahahhaa.But it was all worth it . i have no regrets at all :)))

All in all it was a really good concert.Ooh and not to mention his english was amusing for me..And it can be seen that he was really really happy :)))

Am a bit lazy to post photos here,as i am writing this post using the ipad as my bro is dominating my laptop-but have uploaded them on my insta and what not :))
-with lots of love and spazzing,peace out!! -

Dedicated to you.

I have known this girl since I was 8 years old and fast forward many years later, she is now an official graduate in the field of actuarial science!!

We have been classmates throughout primary and secondary school and there were too many moments where I have copied her homework( yes,me being lazy) ,competing with each other to see who will finish copying sejarah notes and whatnot as given by our teacher and me being motivated to give my best shot to do well in my tests and exams.

Also,we ponteng class together,got into trouble a bit and curi makan dalam kelas, vandalizing the school table ( where i was always the one who got caught-specifically at bio lab-so not fair ! Boooo ) .Ahh,the memories.Then we parted ways heading to different colleges to further pursue our degrees with the aim of graduating and working in the field we have interest in .

And on 21.6.2013 she graduated!! Words can be written down and expressed enough how proud I am of her-Ms.Sweet.Wished I could be there,but sadly I cant.Am looking forward to meet you soon :DD

Another chapter of your life has closed but a new one is starting soon!! Wishing you all the best and I know you are gonna ace it :))

P/s: thanks for reading my blog from time to time*terharu*

-with lots of love,peace out-

Monday, June 10, 2013

Just some venting and self pitying.

You know at times where you tend to be perceived as someone who is strong and independent and cool with stuffs in general, that people take that trait of yours for granted.However,it tends to get frustrating at times.

Its not that i am self pitying myself (come to think of it,there is a little here,but whatever,i need a place to vent out my thoughts and what not) it's just at times, internally i am screaming " Hey, I have feelings too you know" I am no robot. I do have emotions- to feel tired, and angry and frustrated at times. Sometimes, I just want to do nothing and laze around and just get to be lazy,not feel the need to be responsible for every tiny little thing.

When you then show out how you truly feel,people deem that you are overreacting, being selfish and calculative now.Like 'why cant you be less immature and selfish and be more open?'

I have been,but, there are just some moment in every human where you just have the ' I am sick and tired of this shit' feeling and some moment of weakness and want to rely on someone instead.

When that moment comes though,at times you find yourself not knowing how to react to it as you are used to being strong,etc,etc.And so you tell you self to stop all the self pitying and whatnot and just be strong.

And slowly then,you start to build a wall around  you,and if it is possible,try to solve things on your own and not asking people for help because that's how you were trained (indirectly) to be. Doing your own thing and not really complain when you feel troubled or tired as you are usually the one people take for granted for.The one who does not seem to have any problems,insecurities,sadness,or loneliness.


Everyone is a little screwed up in their own little weird way.
Is it because of this that we tend to consciously/subconsciously strive to fill a void?
A void that is deemed by us of something known as perfection.
It's where everyone of us is trying to achieve from our own perspective of what we think perfection is.
It's a subjective thing and when perspective collide,it leads to many different kind of result.

Is it all worth it? For how long would we be happy once we have achieved it?

I find myself thinking about this.
I remind myself not too be too caught up in this,
To at times stop,look back and appreciate all that I have experienced.

With that also I find myself thinking,what is it in life that I am living for?

-with lots of love,peace out-

Friday, May 24, 2013

Perfection. I could not have asked for anything more awesome.

As many of you guys who follow me in twitter /fb wold know that I was very excited when Jo In SUng was coming to have a small fanmeet for his drama That Winter The Wind Blows.

He came on the 21st evening, luckily my paer on that day was a morning paper so I went to Paradigm Mall with Ms.Lee right fter my paper and hang out there.We queued for like 4 hours (?) to be able to be the first 50 to get free goodies and to get a good place to stand and see him.It was worth it :DDDD

When he came out,it was just so surreal.I didnt expect for him to come to Malaysia to be honest because it's quite rare for korean actors to come to malaysia to promote their dramas and what not.When he came out I just died,he is sooooooo good looking in real life.And he is a really nice person.

When he spoke,I just went crazy lah...I love his voice.Hahahahaa.And he kept making funny and cute expression that you feel he was never bored during the whole event.And he was so nice to the fans who was picked to went up stage to play games with him..There's this couple who went,and before he wanted to hug the girl,he asked the girl's boyfriend whether it was ok to do that. I was like HOW NICE CAN THIS PERSON BE?!!!!!!!!!!! And some fans who wanna take pic with him using their own phones and wanna hug him again before the leave,he just courteously obliged to it.

I was thinking to myself,where in the world would I be able to meet like a real (non-celebrity guy ) like him? It's so so so rare.

Ms.Lee and I went home that night and decided to make a card for him...We planned to go to the airport the next morning to see him as the organizer provided the info on what time his flight to singapore will be..But due to lack of sleep and both of us being a bit lazy as we woke up really early,decided to go to his hotel instead which was just at kl sentral.

And so that's what we did,to try our luck. We went to ask the hotel staffs there and was a bit worried that they wouldnt wanna tell us anything,but they were really very helpful and nice to us...When we went there,we find it funny.There were only 2 of us who was waiting for him.We were shocked as well as we thought they maybe some other fans there too!!

We waited for him for like 2 hours,and one of the hotel staff told us that they cant guarantee that he will come out using the normal way,as usually celebs who staed at their hotel will exit through a private exit but just tell us to wait and try out luck.... and so we did...

We were really really really lucky as he decided to use the normal exit that day!! When he came down,i think at first he didnt notice that we were his fans as there were only 2 of us like standing at the side stunned for 2 seconds there of not believing that he is walking past us now,and ms.lee handed out fan letter to him and he suddenly went 'oh,thank you' and he went out to sit at the like rest area for a moment...We were of course not allowed to go in there,there were the malaysians and his korean staffs there blocking the entrance,...But we went to another side,and we saw him reading our letter ON THE SPOT and nodding his head as he was reading...Not long after that,he saw us standing at the side,and held up his hand,holding the letter saying he has read it and said thank you!!!! AHhhhhh...

Not long after he got up and it was time for him to leave already...We followed behind him to his car,and he kept turning back and said bye bye to us...And when he entered the car,waved several times and finally when the car was about to drive away,he waved again to us...Ms.Lee and I just DIED i tell you,JUST DIED.We could not believe our luck!

Yes.Many of you would wanna ask me,did I then manage to take a pic with him? Sadly we did not...We were just too stunned at the moment and forgot to ask him that.I took a pic of him but not with him...But all in all,I feel very lucky to be able to meet him...And I can bravely say that,at least for that 5 mins or more,he really looked at me and knew who I was,cause there were only 2 of us there.Haahahahaa.

This is an incident that I will never forget for the rest of of my life.Never in my dreams really i would expect him to come,and to be able to meet him so close and having some private/closer interaction with him?!! I could not ask for anything more awesome than this (well a pic with him would be epic) but it;s ok....Hope I get to see him again one day and get to take a pic WITH him then when that time comes....

Feel the need to write this down as this is something that I truly wanna remember...Though its already embedded in my mind and heart,and i am still rewinding that scene over and over again,i wanna put it down in words also.=))))

-till then,with lots of love and day dreaming of jo in sung, peace out-

short update

Hello again there.Ye,I  have noticed that I have gone m.i.a from this blog for like a month now...Well,I have a perfect valid reason here: I am currently battling the war with my final exam.. Have a final paper on the 29th and then I am unofficially done with my law degree!

How did all the paper go so far? I have seriously no idea,i mean for some papers i could answer them and for some,i am not so sure.I think I may have screwed up my IP paper.UOL has this opposite effect where you think you would do well on that paper,it will turn out to be your worse one and vice versa =.= So,am not putting any expectations,just preparing myself for the worst.

Please,may the force be with me to be able to pass all my papers and at least let me get a second lower degree honours.Anything but not a third class.I dont know what I will do if I were to get that.Seriously,I dont know what I will do...

May the force also be with me to let me go through my final paper,Give me strength to be able to finish my revision and be able to do that paper.Gahhhh.I shall see you guys soon! many plans ahead after the exams which I hope will all go well successfully and hopefully some plans will be able to become reality!!

-till then,with lots of love,peace out-

Sunday, April 21, 2013

How is one ever prepared to face death?
Never perhaps(?) ,though it is an inevitable fact.
Some never even think of it." I am is still young,death is for the sick,the old."

One never actually really knows until it hits you.

To be prepared to lose someone very dear in your life,
Knowing that you will not in your lifetime ever get to see them,hear their voice,or touch them,
It's something i feel no human being can ever get over it completely.
Even if  its a forseeable thing,something you can see happening imminently.

To face it bravely,requires a lot of courage.
Even if one does it successfully,to remain collected after the entire process,
Its something that no one person can do by themselves.

Be strong my friend.
Time heals and life will go on.It will never be an easy thing to do,but
Memories of all the happy and sad moments embedded in your mind and soul will,I believe help.

This is dedicated to a friend of mine.Take care and stay strong.

-with lots of love-

Thursday, February 28, 2013


Hearing,reading and seeing things happening around me lately,
It made me think;
Is there such a thing as 'forever' in relationships?
If there is no forever,can there be a lasting one?

Its such a beautiful thing.
At the same time,its a scary thing.
It can be a drug,giving you ecstasy.
Or it can be a poison which slowly kills you.
Which one will it be? Could it be both?

From what I have learnt though,
There is always an exception.
 Thankfully,there is.phew.


Sometimes you think you have a rough idea of how a person is.
You never expect them to change or thought they will.
The words ''People generally don't change ya.It's very hard for people to change at times'' came into my mind.

As I watch someone I know change for the worse right in front of my eyes.
It's just sad.I was shocked,disappointed and disgusted.
How could a person change to being someone who is so cruel?
Yes,you just need to just breathe,to just stop time for one moment and relax.

All I see was you are just escaping.
It maybe a hard thing to accept,the reality.
But everything happens for a reason.
Have you ever thought of what your consequences might lead to?

I can't understand why did you do it.
We were never close due to our age gap.
I maybe deemed as 'still a kid' and dont understand stuff.

Well,I may not know how complicated things were.
But to see you hurt the people who loves you the most.
To see them go through the pain.
It's just sad.
I wished you could see what you have put them through.

Maybe that time will come one day for you to realize.
I am afraid when that time comes,it will be too late.
For it is not easy for one to forgive another.
If forgiveness was ever or eventually given,
One does not forget easily.

It's just sad.


Ahhh, I met you again after about a year or so.
Thoughts of the past replayed in my mind.
It's sad,that we can't at least be courteous with each other and just smile at each other or say a simple 'hi' as a form of acknowledgement.
There will come a day where we will just be strangers to each other.
Not that we already are in that situation now.

One thing is for sure.
I checked with my heart about my feelings this time around,
I feel nothing.

Friday, February 1, 2013


*please be warned that this is an account on what happened during GDA and there may be moments of craziness and over-enthusiasm from the writer whom at the spur of the moment may not be in her right mind.And in no way does she intend to show off how lucky she was or anywhere along the line.This maybe a long/kinda detailed account of what happened,and do feel free to skip it if its too much.* Jutaan terima kasih

It's a first time for me to attend a 2 day event concert thing.And what more,a kpop one! Was in dilemma of attending it initially but I wouldn't forgive myself if I didnt go because I get to see all the artist that I've been dreaming of seeing one shot in 2 days!!! I think it was a first time for me to have run for my life to book a good place for queuing.There are 2 entrance for this event and after passing through the 1st entrance the 2d entrance is like 300m further in.So,everyone just run for their life to be first in line again.Joey's friend ran for day 1.And i ran alone for day 2,booking places for like 6 people.OH,the stress.It's been a long time since my school sports day that I run like this.It was like a running competition.Heck,i think i only joined running competition throughout my highschool days  once which when I was 15/16 i think =.=

Day 1 of GDA has more boybands and it was okok for me because all the artist that I have more liking for were performing on day 2. The performers for day 1 was Exo,Suju,Shinee, CN Blue,4 minute,Beast,Infinite,B1A4,BToB,Kara and FT Island,Forgive me if I have missed out any.And it was awesome! just pure awesome.Took the free shuttle bus to Sepang (of all places,they picked this place =.= ) and reach there a bit late,but it was a new experience,figuring out ways to get there and going there alone.Met a friend while taking the bus and we kinda parted ways when we reach the venue cause she and I bought diff zone tics..but we bump into each other again at the end of the concert while waiting for our friends.And i then later found out that we actually share the SAME BIRTHDAY!!! Such coincidence right?
My partner in crime for concerts (esp kpop ones) ,Joey, who is one of the luckiest person I ever know,won the VVIP and backstage passes to this event and hence,during day 1 she was not with me.I more or less stand alone for this concert,which is kinda new to me,and got to know another nice lady...who turns out to be working in samsung and hence we started talking and stuff.She is very much older than me and getting to hear her working experience and all was really interesting. The highlight of day 1 for me was seeing mainly all of the boy bands.

But after the end of day 1,which was tiring,(one of the after effects of concerts) i knew that day 2 was gonna be EPIC.Why? because it has Ailee,Lee Hi,f(x),Miss A ,Sistar,B.A.P, Teen Top,K.will,huh gak ,Epik high and the one and only,the one person that I dengan tidak malunya claim is my husband Mr.Kwon Ji Yong,aka G DRAGON!!!!!!! I couldnt believe that I get to meet him so soon already after the Alive Tour.Gahhhhh.The security and all was more strict on Day 2,because day 1 was like chaos when they open up the gates.People were literally running for their life to get a good place (as it was all free standing) and some lost their shoe,got step on after falling down and some just crashed into near by rubbish bin (the big type) which really freaked me out.As on day 1 ,i was alone and saw that there's still so much space left in the zone i am standing and was ok with not standing first row,I just coolly walked in.

On day 2,Joey manage to book first row places for me.(am really really really really very thankful).Got filmed my some camera men and appeared on the screen a couple of times.This is really an amusing thing for me.Hahaha.Cause some times,we were screaming out lungs out and was not aware of it.HAHAHAHAHA.You can really see the division of fan clubs through this event.ost people were only there tot he the 1 fav group of theirs.For. e.g.: exo. And will scream their heart and lungs out only when they come out.Me being more neutral,screamed for majority of them.But then,saved my energy for the ones i really really love.Hahhahaa.Like,when Huh gak was singing,all of us were like keeping our energy towards the end,cause we knew that G.D would be the last one coming out.But the last 3-4 acts were my fav one of all.I.e the one I looked most forward to in this event,and I just went crazy for them.It started off with Teen Top ( i kinda like their songs a lot) and I think I was the only one screaming like a mad woman in my area,because the people in my area there were all Big bang fans.But i didnt care.And I first apologize for my in coming craziness.HAHAHAHAA.Then it was Epik High . Never in my dreams would I expect them to come to Malaysia,cause to be honest,their fan base here is not as big compared to other idol groups out there.AND AND AND,they performed 'Get Out' which is one of my fav track int he album and I just went crazy.I tell you CRAZY. I just put my camera into my bag and said screw it.not gonna take pics and just gonna enjoy the atmosphere. And lo behold,no words need more emphasis and I guess you guys can guess that when G.D came out,lagi lah I went crazy.To hear him sing Crayon,One of a kind,Light it up (with tablo!! one of my fav tack off the album also) and Heartbreaker  is just SUPER SURREAL. And i actually get to see him so much more closer compared to Alive tour although I had first row standing places also for alive tour.

This event was tiring as hell,went to stay at a hotel (didnt went back to seremban) with joey and her friends.Got to meet her friend from singapore and her friend's friends from China (who is studying in s'pore also).And they are such hardcore fans that i really salute their dedication! Ooh and one of the China girl got G.D"S TOWEL!!!!! Gahhhh,get to see it when we went back to the hotel. *faints* OOH,and I GOT TO TOUCH DJ TUKUTZ FROM EPIK HIGH!!!!!! Towards the end of day 2,all the artists gathered at the front (extended stage) and he came down and was just in front of me.And seeing fans trying to touch him and all,he further leaned  forward to let them touch was a funny and crazy moment.HAHAHAHAAA. And on Day 1,Shinee's Key waved at me.Nope.Am not perasan cause I was the only one in my area who was waving like crazy towards him.HAHAHHAAHAAAA.Ohhh,and I got to see G.D's rehearsal before the show started on Day 2.had to squat down and see through a fence,but its worth it.And all i can say is that he is really a perfectionist and likes to act cool. =((( Let's just say i could not be any more starstruck that night .hehehee

This is truly something I will treasure for life.And the after effects of this event is kinda great.It's like I am suddenly adapting myself to this 2 day kinda thing,where after the first day,you go back to hotel,shower and then fan girl with your friends and all and then just sleep.Then you wake up the next day to queue for your line and go all crazy again.Then are back to reality.back to the stressful college life and all.Booooooooo.

oh and on another sad note,this is my last event in malaysia with joey.My partner in crime to fan girl over big bang concerts as she will be going to seoul to further her studies.Shall def visit her one day and the main mission for both of us is to visit Vita Dolce.=)))))

The stage -Day 1

Day 1-Moi posing before the event starts
Dj Tukutz of epik High!!!!!

G.D's towel !

<3 td="">


End of Day 2.posing with friend's pass.hehehee

More pics can be found on fb =)

till now,with lots of love,and madness,peace out-

The first 31 days

Hello.I am back again.I think i should make one of my new year resolution to update this blog here more frequently.I tend to confidently tell myself that I shall just compile all the awesome moments that I have and write about it all at once,but since I am getting older and short term memory loss is bad from tie to time.I tend to leave things out and only realised it  after I've posted in my blog and then I will feel lazy to re-edit it and there goes some unwritten things that I wanna put down in words.Gahhh.

How was the first 31 days of 2013 for everyone? I how it started out ok.If it wasn't well,there's still 11 months more to make it awesome!! Hahahahaha.

I started my New Year by having dilemma over none other than...................................Concerts.That's right.I think many of you know know that I am a junkie.Was contemplating on going to the Golden Disk Award (GDA) which is something like the korean ver of the grammys. I bought the rockpit zone initially,but as luck was on my side,I manage to get the Samsung Galaxy Zone and I should off my rockpit ones.

It was a first time for me to sell off my tics in black market and it was indeed a good experience.I shall reserve a whole post for my to scream,declare and just gush about GDA in another post.mmmuahahahaa.And the stress for the upcoming exams is starting to really kick in.And I don't know why but sometimes,whenever  I dont have classes I just feel like lying around and not do anything.SOMETHING WHICH I SHOULD NOT BE DOING! The after effects of it is that I will feel super guilty and a bit of an improvement this year is that,after what I had gone through last year,I know time is something you cannot turn back or wished you had done something different with it.So,I am treasuring it so so so so so so much more now.

My class schedule this year is CRAZY.thank god my exam timetable this year is the best out of my 3 years of exam T.T Let me list my class timetable:
Monday 3-6pm-Sucession , 6.30pm-9.30 pm IP class. (to make it even awesome,classes are at 2 diff building,hence,i need to rush for my second class and also my dinner )

I choose to skip my wed tutorials at night,cause its a bit waste of my time.Like really,waste my time of traveling since the lecturer will email notes of it after class.So...
Thurs-Juris :2-5pm
Sat : Juris :1-4pm , Company law : 4.30-7.30pm
Sunday : Sucession :9am-12pm

So,how does one does not feel exhausted and just feel like not doing anything on their day off,I really salute them. And my revision class (which is like usually super crazy and really kills you) havent even started yet.*cries an oceannn*

But,this is my final hurdle,and I know that to achieve what I am aiming for needs a lot of sacrifice and I will try and reach my goals though I have my distractions and giving up moment from time to time.

Wishing all of my friends here and around the world (mostly in the UK) all the best in their studies or whatever they are on to now! And let us just kill it!!!

My bestie who loves to menghilang from time to time front he internet world ( the only means that I could really connect to her) gave me one of the best surprise again today! Ahhhh.she just never fails at it.Hahahahaha. Am very very happy for her and I hope that I will be able to visit her in Edin with Ms.Lee one day.Hopefully that day will be imminent. Wait for us!!! We will get there one day :DDDDD

Overall,2013 started out with a bang and i hope it will be an awesome year for me and everyone! =))

till then,lots of love,peace out-