Hello from the second month in for 2015. I'm currently living my life in ways I never thought I would and this new experience is very interesting. Work has been challenging,scary and pushing me to go out of my usual comfort zone.I feel the need to constantly improve and challenge myself. Why? I feel I am super blur and inexperience in so many things and some people just look like they really have got their shit together that it makes me feel very inept.
Also,of course I have thoughts like what if they feel that I am so bad that they dont want to confirm me once my probation period is finished? That would be so embarrassing I feel. =( I am learning also that when you dont know something,its better to ask and be humble rather than keep it to yourself and watch yourself die later on when things get really shitty.
Also,on 26.01.15 I set up a small stall for this charity bazaar.It started off with a conversation with the best friend on whether I would be interested in helping her out to sell stuff.And it then escalated to me making the friendship bracelets that I've learnt 2/3 years back and selling them to raise money for charity.At first I was a bit doubtful of this happening as I am afraid that I wouldn't have enough time to even make 10 bracelets. But after trying to spend any free time I have after work making these bracelets, I managed to make about 27 or so and sold almost all of them!!
I seriously never imagine that the first time I decided to learn how to make these bracelets,using a thread (benang) instead of those DMC strings (as it was expensive and I dont wanna waste them) through youtube that a few years later,I would actually set up a stall (even for a day) and sell them. Each bracelet were only of one colour and when each of them got sold,I was like, ahhh, I like that bracelet, and now I'm parting with it already.There is one bracelet that i actually made for myself, never really got about wearing it , and I decided to sell it and someone actually wanted to buy it.
There were also praises on how nice it is.I am really really honoured to receive such compliment and never thought that my skills of this would be really appreciated by a stranger.So,to everyone who bought those bracelets, I hope you wear them and get compliments on it too and I hope it is in good condition and that there isnt any part of it that came off after I sold it to you.Really,if it does,in no way do I intend it to happen. And in no way also I am selling it to cheat your money.
A funny experience from this charity event is that I met this indian uncle who apparently kinda can predict what you have been through in your life by feeling the energy/vibe you have around you.So he said that there is this guy whom I like but he turns out to be someone I did not expect him to be.And I was sad about it.Something along that line.TO which a certain someone came in my mind and to which I said,yes.It's kinda true.. But he pushed it too much by asking me,so the relationship was about 2 years,am I right? to which I just shook my head. Then he said : No? 6 months? to which I also just shook my head. Then he asked, so how long was the relationship? 3 months? 1 month? TO which my not so pleased reply to him after being pressed on how did my "relationship" last was : It never started or happened at all. That kinda took that uncle by surprised and he just shut his mouth up.And he said, aww ,now why do you look so sad? to which my reply was : I'm not.I'm just feeling.... tired. (at which in the inside of my head was : do i need to smile and be all happy about my non-existent relationship or something?)
Also,my partner randomly asked all the new joiners in the firm for lunch last week.Only me and another associate were free that day.It was truly an unexpected and interesting lunch.Also, by working in this firm,I get to see how everyone (newbies and chambies) try to make sell themselves and make themselves stand out. I learn how to socialise with people and be less awkward. It's a totally new ball game.A truly good experience really.
The CLP exam timetable just came out last Friday.Its happening much later this year than I was expecting it to be.I see it as a blessing in disguise for giving me more time to prepare and ace this exam!!! RAWRR. I need to make it this time around.To not be able to do so will be so heartbreaking and de-motivating really.Not to mention embarrassing and questioning my intelligence to this.
So,that's about it really. Ohh, and the sister left for Poland one the 2nd of January itself.So,I think for the first time,its like I am living my life independently somehow. Especially so as I am staying at her room in KL without her being there!
Let's hope there are better things to come this year!
p/s: I do very often ask myself this question at the end of the day,after work or so : When was the last time you did something for the first time? And you will actually be amazed when you think of the answer to this question. I feel this is a very good and meaningful question to ask yourself at then end of the day to see how have you been living your life so far.I stumbled upon this question when I was reading an interview done with this one photographer whom I like called Christoph Schaller. love his instragram feed and the ay he dresses himself =) Go ahead,ask yourself this question from time to time too and be amazed with the answer your brain and heart comes out with.
-with lots of love,peace out-