Friday, July 18, 2014

Current thoughts

Can I just buy a plane ticket and go to the places I wanna go? Why? Because it seems everyone has their own timing and its at times so hard to match up with each other,and i somewhat feel a mixture of impatientn-ess and feeling that time is running out for me? *sigh*

I am trying hard but its hard to accept that everything dont go as how you dream and want in life at times.  ( minus the fact that you are trying and the realization that everything is easier said than done) but i just gave this pent up (?) frustration,longing, and enviness of watching people being able to just get out and escape at times making it seems that they are doing so without giving much thought and worry about it.

I'm thinking about the life i want and figuring out ways to achieve them.Cant help thinking about what ifs and will people thinking i am too childish in my thoughts  or that i am too much of  a dreamer or just a foolish,selfish person?  Or am i just angry and frustrated with myself? For not making things happen? maybe i am. Maybe thats what my inner self is telling myself.

I know I should take things one step at a time,but its just,I dont know..urghhh, I need to reorganize my thoughts i guess. i guess i should take up an advice a person gave me that when he has troubles,he just goes to bed and sleep and try not to think too much of it.

I dont know.late night emoness when you have PMS sucks big time. Especially me who gets very very moody when its that time of the month for me.

-peace out-
I am finally done with exams.Just like that,9 months have passed by just like that.How did I do in my exams this time around? To be very honest,I  not sure.I dont think I did well. i dont know if it was the nerves and stress or i just did not prepare myself enough. At the end of my final paper,I just tell myself that I know I could have done better. that's all that i could think of.

So i am preparing myself for the very worst and another alternative.
So fogers crossed that i dont have to choose the alternative road for after fonishing my exams,to have to go through it all over again-the workload,the stress,the embarrassement,the disappoient and frustration is just plain torture. so,may the force be with me.

Other than that,happy holidays everyone!

-with lots of love,peace out-

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Tomorrow is the day where i am sitting for my exams for the next 10 days or so.. it all comes to this.the final one.

How am i feeling now? Its more or less how i felt when inwas about to sit for juris paper except that this might be slightly worse cause you may know what the answer is here but cannot recall where is the answer located. for juris,its all based on your own opinion and stuff.

I am scared of what i dont know is fatal and will what i know be enough?

This overwhelming feeling resulted in me breaking down in the shower just now.I just couldnt help it.

And then i realized, way to go CLP exams, for you just broke me on another level that I have not experienced before in my life..

May the forxe be with me to just be able to get theough these 10 days.I foresee there might be tears before (it just happened) , during and after the exams.

This would certainly be one of the challenges that I am facing so far in my life. may everything that i need to get through this be with me. mentally,phycially,and spiritually.