Sunday, December 29, 2013

Till next year,peace out

Hello hello.I am back again.I know I have been neglecting my blog again.Have decided to write my summary for this year as I am currently feeling VERY BORED at home and I dont wanna postpone making the summary to the very last minute. Just spent an hour or more to read up all my posts for this year ( in case i forgot what I've experienced this year) and also decided to read what I went through last year for a bit.

I noticed that the number of posts that I've been posting has been decreasing annually and hence one New year that I would try and conquer would be to post more often in this blog..I don't keep a diary with  me,so this blog is in some sense like an electronic diary for me.Plus the fact that not a lot of people knows about my blog or even reads them. I don't really mind because it's not my main aim to have a famous blog or something.I just like to write down my thoughts and stuff and though would at times wish for some people who are close to me to read them to just let them in what's actually going through in my mind,at the same time I just take this as a personal record for the stuff that I wanna put down in words to be read again.

I think this year is the year where I've been to quite a lot of concerts and met a lot of artists that I have been dreaming of meeting and I feel I am very lucky to be able to do.Ooh and TABLO AND NICKHUN REPLIED MY TWEET WHICH IS BEYOND AWESOME!Also I think I broke my own personal record of winning a lot of free stuff this year from concert tickets to a box of beauty stuff from one of my fav. blogs I usually read.I myself dont know how I do it,I just usually enter contests I am interested in and give it my best shot and hope to win something.I do get disappointed at times of not winning them.Hahahahhaa.Was able to buy one of my (well a num) of my dream shoes and had a number of great buys for clothes and all :D

I started the year by going for GDA,then Twin Tower's Alive where 2ne1 came,then seeing Jo In Sung,then GD's solo world tour,then world stage, Arthur's Day and finally Super Junior-Super Show 5 concert.There are a few concerts which I regret not going such as Linkin Park's one.But its all good.There are 2 concerts that I am dying to attend in 2014 and I just hope I will be able to attend them. *praysss*

Crossing off my life's to do list is to work in a fast food restaurant and just a few days back experiencing the unique way of eating at my house porch with almost complete darkness as there was no electric in my house for about 2 hours.I seriously appreciate the creation of electricity and internet I tell you.

One of the happiest moment this year would be the fact that I manage to graduate and is of course a "Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah' in my life chapter. Am doing my CLP now and you will see my rant and cry over it over the next many many posts.I can safely assure you I will do that.

I didnt really travel that much this year as much as I longed to ( especially the past few months because I was just feeling restless and tired and what not-it's a hard to explain feeling that I've been experiencing). But I did have short and really awesome ones. One was going to Pangkor Island with Ms.Lee,Ms.Yap,and Ms.Ding. And at the second half of the year went to Thailand with Ms.Lee and Ms.Sweet ! Both were short trips but it was definitely very memorable.

Also at then second half of the year left me dealing with many issues which I did not expect that I had to deal with to be honest.Its basically family stuff and it was not easy for me to be honest.Am still dealing with it and I just hope all will be resolved well next year.

Hence there has been many negative or emo posts as you can put it.Some are about the issues that I mentioned generally in the paragraph above.

Some posts are just more about my feelings on thoughts on having to try and decide on the direction I wanna head in life regarding on things I want to do and experience and my career.I cant believe that I actually need to deal with 'such grown up,adult stuff '. I think this maybe due to the fact that subconsciously I just dont feel like being one? hahaha, I dont know..That might be it or it might be just having to experience it for the first time, I'm in shock mode and am not quite so sure how am I supposed to handle this kinda things.And seeing like how some of my peers know what and where they're heading already makes me feel lost,worried and scared.

Like this kind of questions have been some things I've been thinking a lot for this year I guess and things in in life like living life itself,love,death and all that..Experiencing,hearing and knowing about it personally and also seeing things from like a third person kinda view.

Not losing to last year,there are of course a lot of good songs and dramas this year as well, such as That Winter the Wind Blows,Master's Sun,The Heirs ( HELLO KIM WOO BIN I LOVE YOU , AND OOH SO JI SUB AND NOT FORGETTING JO IN SUNG) and the new drama which just started not long My Love from another star starring Jun Ji Hyun,Kim Soo Hyun and Yoo In Na. The drama Heartless City is a very screwed up drama which I havent watch fin yet ( its too emo) but I already knew the ending which is a sad one which makes me not feeling like finsihing it.hahahahaa.

MY favs artist such as 2ne1,GD ,YB and TOP released songs respectively which I LOVE.EXO's Growl is one of my fav this year as well and so are songs from like Infinite,Kahi ,Zion.T,Epik High and all. In the non-kpop scene: Justin Timberlake and Beyonce ,Lorde,Macklemore and Ryan Lewis,The Great Gatsby and Hunger Games : Catching Fire OST are one of the few favourite albums of mine this year :DD

I guess that's about it for this year.I wish for everyone that I know and for myself that hopefully we will all have a better year in 2014,and to be a better and stronger person than what we are today.I quote a pic which I will be posting on instagram  later:

''May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness.I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful,and don;t forget to make some art-write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can.And I hope somewhere in the next year,you surprise yourself '' 

Happy New Year.Hello 2014 ! Bring it.

-with lots of love and the best wishes,peace out-

Train encounters

I was commuting with the ktm as usual the other day (i can't remember when exactly) when I suddenly started counting how long i've been taking the train and randomly thought that i should list down my best and worst moments so far.

Best /amusing moments would probably be:
  • Me-sleeping in the train to wake up to a cute guy sitting beside me who was also sleeping and finding him leaning his head on my shoulder...and i had no clue what to do.

  • getting offered a seat at peak hours .

  • seeing a guy sitting not far from me at seremban station(starting the journey to KL) in a kinda empty train and suddenly started sobbing while singing emo songs.

  • watching kids up to their cute actions at times (despite it also being my worst moments at times where they start to scream and act like monkeys)

  • discovered a couple ring which was unintentionally left by the train window sill

  • a guy trying to ask a girl whom he does not not for her number-which he failed i think.

  • doing the random act of kindness by offering seats to old people/kids and helping an aunty take her stuff to the opposite platform cause her bag was heavy (she actually ask me to do that) as I was taking the train at another opposite platform.
  •  Met a few kind people who saw that I was sleeping like a log on the train and woke me up in case I missed my station on my way back home.

  • Meeting some people I know that I never expect to meet in a train. and then you need to plan whether to say hello to them or not.

  • just having a nice/short conversations to random ,nice people at times.

  • it is also a good day for me if there are some beautiful people (i.e good looking guy) taking the train-which is usually  VERY rare.

Worst moments:
  • Sleeping in the train to wake up and discovered the woman sitting beside me was sick and had vomitted a few times already in a plastic bag that she carry and woke up to see her vomit. was too terrified to move away.  and then noticing that a person you know was actually sitting opposite you watching the scene. But dont have the guts to wake me up and move me away =.=

  • Watching another person vomit from afar..not a nice scene at all.

  • Hearing someone lost their phone and crying about it.

  • Nasty ladies who pushed you away when the seat you were suppose to sit on should be yours. Also guys who are not gentleman and take the seat that supposedly should be yours.

  • Sleeping in the train one night where I think some guys were trying to take advantage of me (?) but I woke up just in time I think.

  • Being stuck in Serdang on a rainy night and was so tired and stressed up from class as it was very near my exam during my 2nd year and I was hungry that I almost cried at the train station.

  • Taking 3 hours to reach KL / Seremban and missing half of my class and what not.Had to stand on top of it and finally just decided to sit on the floor and study (it was also kinda near my exam ) as it was a waste of time being stucked in the train.Another time was with my sis with a heavy luggage and need to switch to the opposite platform with no life-i transformed into superwoman for a while that day.

  • Almost feel like fainting after class one day due to exam stress.Was thankful to get a seat and tried to sleep hoping that i would be better.

  • Meeting some creepy people in the train.

  • And having the whole coach to myself one day while taking the train home at night as there were not much people getting off at seremban.

  • Being in a packed train (this was before they had the new trains today) and had to stand with people having body ordours/some guys like trying to take advantage of you and someone who farted.LIKE SERIOUSLY I ALMOST DIED.I experience being sardined in a train a lot during my a-levels days and these were some of the worst experience.

  • How sometimes you wear shorts or just decide to dress more to the fashionable side and people stare at you like they have not seen a person where those kinda stuff before.It's annoying.

  • Where you intend to sleep and some people decide to speak on top of their lungs and let the whole world listen to their conversation no matter how shallow it can be at times.Or there's a screaming kid beside you or within very near vicinity to you.

  • This also applies to the situation where some people decide that they should let the whole world listen to their favourite songs by blasting the songs through their phone at max vol so that everyone can stare at him.

Note: These are just my personal experiences and I have no intention on hurting anyone's feelings in the process of writing and posting this down at all.

with lots of love,peace out

Monday, December 9, 2013

Am I Strong Enough?

All of us have our own war we need to go through and fight.We choose our battles and try to win them.Some battles were thrown onto us involuntarily.What may be like the biggest and hardest thing for one person maybe be the opposite to another person.

All in all,let us wake up with a strong and positive mentality each day to face whatever things that are thrown towards us and survive through it.

I might not have the strongest heart and mind right now,but I hope it trains me to have one soon.

When you think that there can be no more surprises that could shock you,you are so wrong at times.In just a blink of an eye,the most unexpected things happen.

I am in a way thankful that I get to learn how to get through tough times,I just can't help but wonder : Why must it all happen ? Would it be different if a different decision or step was taken?

These unanswered questions,would through a course of time help me find the answers?
I'm uncertain of this,but if it does,when the time comes,would I really wanna know the answers?
I don't know.I hope I am strong enough to get through it.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I think I need me a chill pill

'Sometimes,we find a person to share our thoughts and insecurities not because we need an advice,etc
Sometimes we just need someone to hold our hands ,and to just listen, saying 'yes' from time to time to help us ease our over thinking and insecurities-to prevent us from being held back by them' -Honey & Clover

I just love the sentences above from Honey and Clover.I think I have probably watched it over a thousand times,but I think there is a certain point in time every year where I will just re-watch the whole series (season 1 and 2) and like each time i get a different feeling after watching it..It's not like the typical anime love story actually.It talks about friendship, life and love.(that's what I personally derive from it after watching it,that is) And it's so funny and sad at the same time,that it might be the main reason why I love it so much..And the songs used in it are nice too.So,yea,I love this anime a lot.

I think in between last year and this year there has been a number of negative posts here.One of the reasons is because I feel the need to let it out somewhere,and there is actually not a lot of people who knows that I blog,so I figured this is kinda good place for me to vent out my frustrations and anger at times.

It's the last 24 days or so to 2013.This year,like a few months of the second half of the year had me dealing with a number of umm,negative / selfish emotions and whatnot. Disappointment,anger,jealousy and all.It was not thrown at me all at once,but like I guess I had to deal with these things more frequent than what I went through last year I think.

I find it interesting up to a certain extent where you get to see it from a third eye view and also experience it personally on how it would be like when you are tested on what's your limit in trusting and being patient with someone and trying to give them chances time and time again.

I learnt also that  (for me) it's a tough battle in trying to fight the green eyed monster and being genuinely happy for someone.I felt like I was being suddenly put in a weird place in trying to fight this battle since I think I never really experience this kinda thing before.It was an interesting lesson now that I've come to terms with  it. ( oh shit, am I turning into some spoilt,immature brat  here ? nooooooo,i dont wanna be one)

I think the fact that my thoughts on life and other things in general may have changed for the past one year or so and hence,it changes the way I handle things and see things in different perspective at times.I'm like another step closer to a new chapter in my life and I am trying to decide or plan as to what and how am I going to proceed next.Like the things I dream I wanna experience and stuff, of course at the same time I am worried of once a decision is made,is it a right decision or vice versa you know?

Yes,you will probably ask me to not think too much and take a chill pill,and hence I quote the first paragraph above.

Oh well,let's hope that I will be able to end this year in a good note and have a fresh and good start to 2014 soon..

-with lots of love,peace out-