FInally

Today on August 15th, I woke up early as I have work (switched shifts with my colleague) and went to work...As the hours passed,towards the afternoon I get more and more nervous...Butterflies starts forming in my stomach,i get goosebumps from time to time and started getting restless.. I keep going to my locker room and check my phone for any news about my results...

The radio station that I usually listened to at work has been surprising as well..For about a week working,the radio station has only played GD's song (michigo) once-and that was on my first day of work...I was so surprised that they played it once again yesterday night as I was about to finish my work and twice today!! IT made me all happy and I took it as a good sign.!

Received an sms from my college that results will be out after 5pm..And  following last year,I was predicting it will be out around 7pm ...and hence that was the reason I switched shift with my collegague as I could go home by 6pm... Who knows,lo and behold, UOL updated at their fb account that results will be out at 3pm British time and that means,it will only be released at 10 pm Malaysian time...

Ohhh the horror,stress and nervousness that I have been going through all day is further prolonged..BOOOOO. By 9.45pm, my bestie whatsapp me and said results are out and a classmate of mine did well in it!

I freaked..I paced in my room a little before saying out a little prayer and start to refresh my email and all to the link of the result page!When I got in,the first thing I look was whether I pass and then slowly start to analyze my marks and all.. To be honest,I was surprised to see that some marks for some subjects that I thought I may have scored higher,I got lower...And my results was worse compared to my 2nd year...and then I scrolled down the page it there it was written that I have graduated with a second class honors(lower division) my first honest feeling: disappointment..

I know I have no one else to blame but myself..But still,there is a little flicker of hope of doing better in my exams you know.

But all in all,I am very happy,thankful and relieved and cant believe  that I will be graduating with a law degree and have finally survived through this crazy,stressful law course..It was a horrifying yet fun journey! The friends that I made and have gone thorugh this with me and the lecturers that inspired me and scared the hell out of me..I am truly grateful and thankful that I get to meet and have these people in my life..=))

-with lots of love and feeling very blessed,peace out-

Is it ok?

Hello people! Didnt realise that i have not updated my blog for almost 2 months now! my bad! I have a quite boring/routined-based life at times.hahahahaa..BUT,will have a LOT of things to update now..that i will break them into separate parts.. =)))

After my exams,i have been enjoying my holidays being a very lazy person...But deep inside me I start to feel scared and insecure...Looking thorugh social network sites of my friends-it seems that all of them in one way or another is moving so much forward in life compared to me.

I feel like I dont know what I will do or go after I am finished with my degree and all...It's like all of them are swimming forward in the ocean and am about to reach their own destination at mainland soon while I am slowly drowning in the ocean...

In other words,I feel suffocated...This grappling fear that everyone seem to have a plan already and I feel I have yet to have a concrete one.

Being the person that I am,I usually just keep these thoughts to myself to which was noticed by my loved ones...And after letting it out,I feel much better and I then see that maybe it's ok to not be ok at times...

He's the one and only

As many of you guys who followed in my various social network sites already know that I am a HUGE fan of Big Bang,and my thick skinned claim that Mr.Kwon is my husband. Hence,without hesitation that when he announced that he was going to have a solo world tour,I will definitely be going!!

I think this is the first time I have bought a VIP seating tic, and yes,I spent a bomb on it.You will think I am crazy if you know how much I spent on it.For safety reasons I shall not reveal them here..I actually asked a friend of friend of mine to help me purchase the ticket as I was having my exams during the whole month of May and had no time to waste to go buy the tic.

Though I really appreciate her willingness of helping me-I paid for that help and the whole ticket thing turned a bit ugly and at one point in time,it totally ruined my mood to attend this concert.I tell myself that there will be no next time where if i wanna ask for help,she would be my very very last resort to go to.

Come on the day of the concert,I went tot he venue quite early to collect the ticket and my merchandise that I bought .GD came out with a limited  edition vinyl disk as like a commemorative token of his world tour.

I was very very tempted to attend his rehearsal session where you need to top up rm100 under celcom..But after much indecisiveness,I finally decided not too and Ms.Lee played a great role in it.Though,she batu api aku lepas tu sikit,cissssss. Hahahahaahhaaa. i am just joking.The weather was VERY  stuffy that day and I was feeling a little bit sleepy and all during mid-day but was nonetheless pump up when I was in the venue and the moment the lights went out!

After that we went to klcc/pavilion area to chill and stay away from the haze ...and around 7.30pm we decided to go into the venue.Our seats where at the far end of our row and we were a bit disappointed,but it turned put to be a nice spot after all.The spotlight was facing us,so it was a very nice view when GD came to the front wi the spotlight behind him!!

The lightings for his concert is really really beautiful...I seriously LOVE IT!! And though it may not seemed based on pictures that I saw hi. Like super close or something,but seeing him there,live theview was seriously very very HD!!! And I love the venue also as the floor was not a grass field as like during the big bang's alive tour!  And also there was a lot of room to actually jump.hahahaha.

The crowd was not as much as compared to Alive tour,but nevertheless it was AWESOME! It was a really really awesome concert!! When he came out ,I just died!!! Many of my fav song of his were performed!! One of my fav stage of his would have to be when he was singing Obsession and She's Gone..Like before  he came out,they were playing on the screen of him running and so,his face in black and white---He was JUST SOOOOOO HOTTTTT!! And the gazes he kept goving the camera during the performance, i just went crazy.hahahahaaha.

The happiest moment for me would be hearing him sing This Love.I got a little bit teary duringt hat part as I just couldn't believe my eyes and ears as to what I am witnessing.This memory has been safely recorded and keep in my brain and heart.I have been listening to this songs literally for years and have watch many of the live ver of this on youtube,and being able to finally hear it live myself--The feeling was just indescribable...seriously i cant really put this in words.its just too awesome,and surreal.

I LOVE Taeyang's performance as well.He was sooo hyped up during his performance and his dancing is just too awesome!!!!!!!!!! I wished he sang wedding dress,but its all good.Still love his performance.Ooh and I also LOVE his all white outfit,,,gahhhhhhhh~~~~~~ *faintts*

The concert started on time and finished around 10.15 p. or so....It was sooo epic that I didnt want it to end *criesss* It was just too nice...I was screaming and jumping and whatnot..hahahahaha.If I
could turn back time and re-live the moment again,I TOTALLY WOULD!!!!!

The side effect of concert are: i feel like an old person the next day having exert a lot of hand and leg muscle during the concert.hahahhaa.But it was all worth it . i have no regrets at all :)))

All in all it was a really good concert.Ooh and not to mention his english was amusing for me..And it can be seen that he was really really happy :)))

Am a bit lazy to post photos here,as i am writing this post using the ipad as my bro is dominating my laptop-but have uploaded them on my insta and what not :))
-with lots of love and spazzing,peace out!! -

Dedicated to you.

I have known this girl since I was 8 years old and fast forward many years later, she is now an official graduate in the field of actuarial science!!

We have been classmates throughout primary and secondary school and there were too many moments where I have copied her homework( yes,me being lazy) ,competing with each other to see who will finish copying sejarah notes and whatnot as given by our teacher and me being motivated to give my best shot to do well in my tests and exams.

Also,we ponteng class together,got into trouble a bit and curi makan dalam kelas, vandalizing the school table ( where i was always the one who got caught-specifically at bio lab-so not fair ! Boooo ) .Ahh,the memories.Then we parted ways heading to different colleges to further pursue our degrees with the aim of graduating and working in the field we have interest in .

And on 21.6.2013 she graduated!! Words can be written down and expressed enough how proud I am of her-Ms.Sweet.Wished I could be there,but sadly I cant.Am looking forward to meet you soon :DD

Another chapter of your life has closed but a new one is starting soon!! Wishing you all the best and I know you are gonna ace it :))

P/s: thanks for reading my blog from time to time*terharu*

-with lots of love,peace out-

Just some venting and self pitying.

You know at times where you tend to be perceived as someone who is strong and independent and cool with stuffs in general, that people take that trait of yours for granted.However,it tends to get frustrating at times.

Its not that i am self pitying myself (come to think of it,there is a little here,but whatever,i need a place to vent out my thoughts and what not) it's just at times, internally i am screaming " Hey, I have feelings too you know" I am no robot. I do have emotions- to feel tired, and angry and frustrated at times. Sometimes, I just want to do nothing and laze around and just get to be lazy,not feel the need to be responsible for every tiny little thing.

When you then show out how you truly feel,people deem that you are overreacting, being selfish and calculative now.Like 'why cant you be less immature and selfish and be more open?'

I have been,but, there are just some moment in every human where you just have the ' I am sick and tired of this shit' feeling and some moment of weakness and want to rely on someone instead.

When that moment comes though,at times you find yourself not knowing how to react to it as you are used to being strong,etc,etc.And so you tell you self to stop all the self pitying and whatnot and just be strong.

And slowly then,you start to build a wall around  you,and if it is possible,try to solve things on your own and not asking people for help because that's how you were trained (indirectly) to be. Doing your own thing and not really complain when you feel troubled or tired as you are usually the one people take for granted for.The one who does not seem to have any problems,insecurities,sadness,or loneliness.

What?

Everyone is a little screwed up in their own little weird way.
Is it because of this that we tend to consciously/subconsciously strive to fill a void?
A void that is deemed by us of something known as perfection.
It's where everyone of us is trying to achieve from our own perspective of what we think perfection is.
It's a subjective thing and when perspective collide,it leads to many different kind of result.

Is it all worth it? For how long would we be happy once we have achieved it?

I find myself thinking about this.
I remind myself not too be too caught up in this,
To at times stop,look back and appreciate all that I have experienced.

With that also I find myself thinking,what is it in life that I am living for?


-with lots of love,peace out-

Perfection. I could not have asked for anything more awesome.

As many of you guys who follow me in twitter /fb wold know that I was very excited when Jo In SUng was coming to have a small fanmeet for his drama That Winter The Wind Blows.

He came on the 21st evening, luckily my paer on that day was a morning paper so I went to Paradigm Mall with Ms.Lee right fter my paper and hang out there.We queued for like 4 hours (?) to be able to be the first 50 to get free goodies and to get a good place to stand and see him.It was worth it :DDDD

When he came out,it was just so surreal.I didnt expect for him to come to Malaysia to be honest because it's quite rare for korean actors to come to malaysia to promote their dramas and what not.When he came out I just died,he is sooooooo good looking in real life.And he is a really nice person.

When he spoke,I just went crazy lah...I love his voice.Hahahahaa.And he kept making funny and cute expression that you feel he was never bored during the whole event.And he was so nice to the fans who was picked to went up stage to play games with him..There's this couple who went,and before he wanted to hug the girl,he asked the girl's boyfriend whether it was ok to do that. I was like HOW NICE CAN THIS PERSON BE?!!!!!!!!!!! And some fans who wanna take pic with him using their own phones and wanna hug him again before the leave,he just courteously obliged to it.

I was thinking to myself,where in the world would I be able to meet like a real (non-celebrity guy ) like him? It's so so so rare.

Ms.Lee and I went home that night and decided to make a card for him...We planned to go to the airport the next morning to see him as the organizer provided the info on what time his flight to singapore will be..But due to lack of sleep and both of us being a bit lazy as we woke up really early,decided to go to his hotel instead which was just at kl sentral.

And so that's what we did,to try our luck. We went to ask the hotel staffs there and was a bit worried that they wouldnt wanna tell us anything,but they were really very helpful and nice to us...When we went there,we find it funny.There were only 2 of us who was waiting for him.We were shocked as well as we thought they maybe some other fans there too!!

We waited for him for like 2 hours,and one of the hotel staff told us that they cant guarantee that he will come out using the normal way,as usually celebs who staed at their hotel will exit through a private exit but just tell us to wait and try out luck.... and so we did...

We were really really really lucky as he decided to use the normal exit that day!! When he came down,i think at first he didnt notice that we were his fans as there were only 2 of us like standing at the side stunned for 2 seconds there of not believing that he is walking past us now,and ms.lee handed out fan letter to him and he suddenly went 'oh,thank you' and he went out to sit at the like rest area for a moment...We were of course not allowed to go in there,there were the malaysians and his korean staffs there blocking the entrance,...But we went to another side,and we saw him reading our letter ON THE SPOT and nodding his head as he was reading...Not long after that,he saw us standing at the side,and held up his hand,holding the letter saying he has read it and said thank you!!!! AHhhhhh...

Not long after he got up and it was time for him to leave already...We followed behind him to his car,and he kept turning back and said bye bye to us...And when he entered the car,waved several times and finally when the car was about to drive away,he waved again to us...Ms.Lee and I just DIED i tell you,JUST DIED.We could not believe our luck!

Yes.Many of you would wanna ask me,did I then manage to take a pic with him? Sadly we did not...We were just too stunned at the moment and forgot to ask him that.I took a pic of him but not with him...But all in all,I feel very lucky to be able to meet him...And I can bravely say that,at least for that 5 mins or more,he really looked at me and knew who I was,cause there were only 2 of us there.Haahahahaa.

This is an incident that I will never forget for the rest of of my life.Never in my dreams really i would expect him to come,and to be able to meet him so close and having some private/closer interaction with him?!! I could not ask for anything more awesome than this (well a pic with him would be epic) but it;s ok....Hope I get to see him again one day and get to take a pic WITH him then when that time comes....

Feel the need to write this down as this is something that I truly wanna remember...Though its already embedded in my mind and heart,and i am still rewinding that scene over and over again,i wanna put it down in words also.=))))

-till then,with lots of love and day dreaming of jo in sung, peace out-