One that will be deeply missed.

I posted this late again.I remembered that I was supposed to make a post around the 23rd or so,but I forgot.Just remembered it suddenly today.I make it a point to remember it every year.

It has been 3 years since the death of Park Sang-min or better known as Lee Eon.He was a cast in the drama Coffee Prince.I personally think that it's the all time best korean drama and love this drama a lot.When I heard the news that he had passed away.I was very shocked because,at that time, just a few days back,I was happily watching him acting,and am anticipating more dramas from him in in the future.It's such a waste and saddening thing that he had to pass away at such an early age.

   It has been 3 years now.You're surely deeply missed.May you rest in peace.


-with lots of love,peace out-

Leggo =)

Hello.Hello.I'm on cloud 9 now..As many would have know, I have been a human with a mixture of nervousness and stress for the past 48 hours.today,August the 18th is the day where i get my result.Was contemplating at first to go to college to take it or to check online.Finally decided to check it online and thankfully I did.Would like to start of by thanking everyone who was wishing me luck and reassuring me and all.Appreciate it a LOT.You know i love you guys lots.=DDDDDDDD

The reason to it is because,on the night before Result Day,I slept at 4am,just to make myself so tired that I dont have to think of anything.Woke up around 9.45 am and headed straight for the laptop which is just beside me.Nothing in my email.Waited.waited.waited.Checked fb and twitter and email a million zillion times.Nothing.Then I got to know that THE RESULTS WILL ONLY BE OUT AT 7PM!!!!! First thing I did when I knew is to literally cry out loud.(no one was at home,so,there was no fear of people thinking that I am crazy). And you can perhaps see me vent my anger/stress/frustration/craziness in various social communication websites.

And so,with 6 hours to kill,I watch dramas,check on fb and twitter countless times for some unexplainable reason.Waited till I was feeling nothing.zero.numbed.At about 6,went to exercise downstairs and all,then the feeling where my hati go berdebar-debar came back.At 7pm.Still nothing.Then,See Wei came and ask me to go fb..While freaking out and screaming a bit,saw the link to check my result.And bam.was praying/muttering/freaking out all at the same time when i was keying in my candidate number and all.

And right before my eyes,I saw it,the first thing was to check to see,if the result was really mine,then I saw the subject code,to which i totally have no memory for what code stands for what sub,but then i saw 4 repetitive words: PASS~PASS~PASS~PASS. And i screamed.And a huge load of burden was just off me.And raced downstairs to tell my parents,then race back upstairs to tell my friends and basically the whole world.Hahaahhaaha.They actually didnt put any grades to it.Just marks.Got 53 for Criminal,51 for Public,48 for CLR (memang memalukan) and 61 for Contract( did not expect this)

  To be honest,I'm not satisfied with the marks I got.Cos,I know that I can do better.But,thinking back on how i study last year,i'm happy with my results.And I'm so gonna kick ass next year.( I know I say this every year after getting my exam result) but I don't care.I need to and I want to.People,if you feel that I'm slacking off,please just go stress me up to the max ya.thank you.

p/s:my apologies if you feel I over exaggerate/am like a drama queen on how i was acting/going true for the past 48hrs.I guess i just cant............help it.=p

p.p/s:do you guys know what does leggo mean? it's not the toys leggo,it has another meaning to it.For those who knows the meaning without googling it at first instance,then salute.cos i didnt know this meaning at first until i google it.Leggo is a urban/hip hop slang for let's go.

Result day aside,finished watching City Hunter,love the drama,dislike the ending(it's a bit cacated).And I finished Baby-faced Beauty and also Lie to Me and also Secret Garden(cried watching this.been a long time since I do so.) Ooh,and today is the birthday of the one and only Mr.Kwon Jiyong.-satu celebriti yang saya sangat teramat suka.hahahahaha.=DD

Overall,today is a good happy day with a little bit of sad&surprising news.Shall end this post with  pics of Mr.Kwon =D enjoy:

-with lots of love,peace out-

a moment to let it out.to blast it all out.

You know what,sometimes,I just feel live is so tiring.Yes,go ahead and think what is life so tiring for a girl who just sits at home onlining the whole day,rotting in it,doing nothing.Her life is just so drama free.Nothing to worry about and all.Well,yes.that is true.But,it just feels tiring because there's always expectations and responsibilities thrown at me.Not that I am avoiding it,I just need to feel appreciated a bitlah at least.

When i have done my part,you dont say a word,you don't even notice it at times.And when I dont you complain to the max.Making it seem that I dont do ANYTHING AT ALL.NOT A SINGLE BIT.ZERO.But then,have you ever stop and think that the tiny little petty things that i do.Have you considered it? Does any of it cross you mind?

I dont like to tell you the stuff that I'm going through,my worries,my problems.I prefer to keep it to myself and if can to solve it myself.You know why? I dont like it when you worry about things.One its because you have other stuff to worry about.and when you worry about things,you over think.You become paranoid.And i hate that.so,what do I do,I make myself look like i dont have anything that worry me.not in my studies,not in anything.I hate troubling you.look at stuff unfolding before my eyes,I tell myself I dont want to trouble you.I make myself be strong and not to be reliable on others at times.And when you treat me nicely,I dont know how to give it back at times.Guess,i'm more comfortable concealing my feelings.preferring to let it out in this blog.I find a way to release and solve things myself.I find a way to show that i'm happy,a simple minded girl.I find a way to just be lazy and all.I find a way to act as if i dont care and dont know about some stuff.

In some aspects,I can be independent.But,i know i'm not independent and strong enough.There's a lot of things that I need to experience and learn about.I'm still immature enough in some things.and i dont put myself in others shoes to see what they are going through now.

But its just that like i said before.Can't you just stop taking me for granted at times,and just for sometime let me have my space.I guess you didnt realise that I'm the type who prefer to do things silently.Guess that's why you didnt notice the stuff that i do at times,do you?I have some reasons on why I do these things.I'm not just doing it blindly at times.
But i know at the end of the day,you still see me as some immature girl who's just a kid.Being spoilt and selfish.Not understanding what others are feeling,Not taking into account what they have done and sacrifice for you..and that I should have show gratitude for it from it by helping the,.doing things without being told.in other words just grow up.

I'm just tired ok.tired.give me a break.you have your problems,i do too.you have a way of doing things,i do too.you have your expectations,i try to live up to it.even if you dont show it,i know you do.how? because i've seen and felt it with my own eyes.And when i dont live up to it,even if you're trying not to show it,i can still feel it.and i feel like crap when i fail to do so.When you have come to terms of accepting it,even if i dont show it,i feel like crap not fullfilling it.

Yes.I'm that selfish,that self obessed and that ungrateful of an ass

Ramblings about daily routine?

It's August now.Gosh,time surely flies at the speed of light =( August,1 more month till I say goodbye to my 2 besties.Gahhhhh,I dont wanna see them go.If they are going to another state which is still in Malaysia,at least we're still at the same country.But this,they're going to UK.Hate farewells.There ain't nothing nice about it at all.But,I can be selfish and just want them here right? Hmm,maybe they don't even want we to want them.hahahaa.joking.joking.

Ahh,August,come the 18th,it'll be the day where I'll be getting my results.Don't know what to expect nor feel.Best to be neutral.Oh,no,I need to expect that I'll pass and not fail.It will be such a MAJOR embarassement if I do so.*fingers crossed* Ooh oh,that day is also the birthday of the one and only,Kwon Ji Young(G.Dragon) which I also dengan tidak malunya dan bermuka-tebalnya take him as my husband.Muahahahahahahaa.Just found out that he shaved his head bald today.Shocking but still HOT! Yes,I'm that biased.

Life's peaceful lately.To put it in another word,boring (?) Doing housework,watching dramas/movies,hearing/discovering new songs,going crazy with over hot guys and stuff,checking my mails/fb/twitter countless times,reading blogs,story books,eating,sleeping,and going to jogging is practically my day to day routine.And I actually don't jog.I dont have the stamina to do so,I walk like 10 laps a day around a lake garden near my house,while doing so,watching in wonder people trying to fish at the lake,as I'm not that convinced that there are any fishes worthy to be caught and also marveling at old uncle and auntie(like really old) being able to jog while,me,being young,don't have the stamina to do so.It is a bit embarassing,but,oh well,let's just leave it there.

Can't say that I find it totally boring.I actually enjoy it.(i know,i'm such a boring person,etc,etc,etc) But,as I know that I wont be having much time doing all these when college starts and all,I''m treasuring these moments.Weekends are the days that I look forward too because that means that I get to meet up with my friends or just being able to hang out with my sis and stuff.

*Warning:paragraph below is about the songs(mainly k-pop) and drama i'm obsessing.Please skip it by all means if you're not interested.*

Am currently loving songs from:2ne1-Hate You,After School Red-In the night,Teen Top-Dont spray perfume(the lyrics are funny,but an addictive song) & First Kiss,Super Junior-Superman (its hotness,not officially released yet i think) and also Mr.Simple,but the slow version that they release for their teaser.I suspect that that maybe in their repackage album or something.Also loving their songs called My love,my kiss,my heart.Lil Jon ft 30h3 is nice too.And also Kim Bo Kyung-Suddenly.Omg.I am totally addicted to it.It's just so nice.All thanks to City Hunter.Am so loving this drama. :D Snow Patrol's and Adele's songs is love.Miss A and 2pm's album,and also songs from John Debney for the movie No Strings Attached is awesome too.Ok.I think I discovered too many songs in a short amount of time.hahahaha.

I'm waiting for several movies to be out.Friends with Benefits looks nice.And also The Smurf :DDDD I want to watch this movie called Stupid Crazy Love too.but am not sure whether they are even showing it in Malaysia.Hopefully they dolah.I watched the trailer (in youtube,go search it if you're curious) and I died of laughter.It's just so funny.

Emmm,I guess that's it for now.
-with lots of love,peace out-

Ugly.

I think I’m ugly and nobody wants to love me,just like her I wanna be pretty,I wanna be pretty,dont lie to my face,telling me I'm pretty -2ne1--Ugly-Check out the whole song here.The lyrics are meaningful
The words above got me thinking:

Some people do not judge a book by it's cover,but judges its content instead.Some are not even a lookist  at all,be it for friendship or a relationship.But,in this materialistic world,where first impression to a certain extent does play a very important role,how can one not help but judge others? I think one of the reason is because,it's hard to instantly judge how good a person's character/attitude is at first instance.All this is slowly revealed over a period of time.Plus the fact after centuries of reinforcement that the pretty people always get things that they want easier,makes everyone more materialistic,no?

I admit,I am one too who likes to judge.Well,who wouldn't swoon or get happy if one meets a hot guy/check out a pretty lady right? Who wouldn't also stare at someone because you are amazed by the fact that they are super fat (to point it out this bluntly,many apologies if you're offended). Though we may not say this aloud,I think these thoughts do come across or mind.Yes? No?

I'm not born with super good looks or whatsoever.I feel I'm just average.plain.ordinary.I'm not ugly though,am I? Without braces,I wouldn't have nice teeth today.Without being active in high school,I don't think I'll be slim? I have some insecuritiesabout myself.I know it's all about being confident and how it helps to bring out the best in you,etc,etc.Well,I just can't help it at times.

Fear of gaining weight and not being thin enough,not being fair enough( its kind of acceptable now,for me).Fear of not being girly /feminine /attractive enough.There's at times a constant obsession / fear of what is it that's missing in me,that I'm not pretty enough,not good enough..And my current face condition,urghh,I hate it.pimples.I miss my old complexion.It's funny how when you start to notice a flaw in you,you'll starting checking out and comparing that flaw with others.And if others are perfect,well,it's a blow to your confidence/self esteem.

Yes.That is how insecure I can be at times.Scary,obsessive perhaps? Well,yes.But,am I to the extent where I would do anything crazy or stupid or suicidal to be pretty? Well,no,cause I'm too logical and not brave enough.Am I still insecure and striving to be pretty ? YES.I still am.On top of that,I'm trying to be beautiful.There's a difference between these two words.Ooh,also,not forgetting being awesome.
p/s:On why would someone wants to be pretty,well,I think everyone wants it.It's just a want,a wish or a need to some.being able look good,makes you feel good,and that will multiply into a million different good things I guess.
-with lots of love,peace out-

weird-twisted theory of mine

Hello,hello,i have been crazily just an expression,do not take it literally) reading this blog called parkandcube and i love it somehow.At first,i was just there to browse over the pics,but,when i started to really read the blog post as i feel a bit bad,i love it.i feel the writer is funny and witty which is at par with my sense of humour.And hence,the craze begins.And i read that its better that one has a light/white coloured background instead of dark ones as it enables the reader to read it more easily.This has certainly solve the mystery of why i dont have the mood to go through my blog posts even again after i have posted them.many apologies if i have been torturing you guys who have been reading my posts.

And hence,i decided to change my blog skin,etc.i suck at finding my own theme for the blog background,etc,so,just opted for the ones provided by blogger,but i'm happy with how it turns out =DD hmm,life have been peaceful or you could say boring lately.Though in a way,i'm happy living this livestyle of lazing around at home,watching dramas,checking twitter and fb countless times for updates when i get too bored and starting my blog-stalking craze once in a while.I somehow cannot watch a drama for the whole day,i get bored if i do so,so,usually,i will pause for a while and do some blog reading or fb or something.i think i have some short attention span for drama or something.=.=''' BUT,i'm proud to announce that i have finished watching baby-faced beauty,special A,on the way to finish secret garden(finally,i know) and lie to me.and in the process to start watching city hunter and heartstrings.You know there's this occupation where people become a fashion/personal buyer? i think i should change my occupation to something where i can watch dramas,and in a way,i get paid for it.......hahahaha.just kidding.it's just some fantasy job of mine.

Also,i love multi-tasking.i dont know why.Though i have also read this somewhere that multi-tasking can at times be bad for you,at it reduces your brain's ability to focus or something along the line.But,i can't stop myself.i feel it's a waste of time,i f i dont do something at times.like,if you're reading blogs,then do with while hearing songs too.i guess its just my weird-twisted concept.Ooh,another reason i plan to just spend my holidays lazing around like that,is because,i somehow get the feeling that i wouldnt have the chance to do so once college starts again and i plan to work for my next holiday at some law firm to gain some experience and also the fact that you're only 20 once in your lifetime,and if like i dont do these kinda stuff, i.e. lazing around,being a pig and getting nagged at being so ,etc, i dont think i'll be able to do so when i'm like 25 right?? once again this is my weird-twisted concept again i guess.

ok.i'm supposed to sleep now.just had an urge to blog in order to make up for a lack of loyalty to frequently update my blog the past few months.hahahahahaa.Errr,ok.i just realised that i'm rambling too much here haven't I ? i blame it on all the skills i acquired while writing up all the law essays =p you'll gain a lot of skills in crapping/writing long&full sentences at times.heehehehehe.ok.i.shall.stop.now.yeoreobun,good bam
-with lots of love,peace out-

Oopsy,it's been almost a month since i updated my blog and i did not realised it at all.hmm,the end of june till today was a bit of a busy week for me,as i went to Hong Kong,Macau,Penang and Langkawi in between 26th June-16th July! i cannot believe it myself.Sat on an aeroplane for the first time in my life to Hong Kong and i sat alone as my sis and her friend boight their tickets earlier.And i get to met a Hongkie guy while in a plane too.hahahaha.

Hmmm,to summarize my HK trip....I love the food and the shopping there as there are a LOT of delicious stuff and definitely some cheap stuff to buy if you compare it with m'sia.But,i do not like the people and the way they live their lives there.it's all so...stress up and stuff.and i think it's my bad luck,i met a number of rude people there too.plus the fact that i can't read chinese...i prefer life in m'sia which is more of a relax/chilling mode in certain aspect.But,HK in terms of service and technology and stuff,it's definitely better and more efficient..i'm kinda lazy to post pictures here,so,just check out my fb ya,hehehe.Ooh oh,i almost forgot,we walk so much in HK that every night,i feel as if my leg is gonna patah soon.but,it's a good exercise and my friend said,i still look the same(did not grow fat) after i came back.which is GOOD NEWS to me.muahahahahahhaa.I almost forgot,went to campfire on the 9th of July.it has been like almost 2-3 years since i went back to school,and there were a few changes made,and looking at it,i miss my high school days.met wjb too after 3 years i think?and i thought i would feel something,anything,but i felt nothing.i guess its a good thing.feel that i seem to always make the wrong choices at times.(in guys) *sighs*

Then,i went to Penang and langkawi.the last time i went to penang was like 4 years back,so,it has been a LONG time.not sure if i have been to langkawi.i think i have not,since i have zero memory of the places there.The entire trip was fun and amusing.Went to the war museum and did stuff i never imagine i would do-went into a(if i am not mistaken) 20m deep tunnel and then came back up through an escape route.was not confident that i could climb back up at first,but,thanks to me friends,i managed to do so.=D <3 hmm,went to eat all the good food of course and did some random stuff when playing cards.also,broke a record by squeezing in 7 people in 1 car.hahhahahahaa. epicness!!!!ooh and also getting to stand&sit at the back of a lorry taking in the wind was so so so much fun(did not manage to snap a picture of this sadly =(
Langkawi was fun too,not really a person who loves the sea/water,but walking along the beach was awesome.and also getting to write at the sand and stuff.hehehehehe.Also,riding the speedboat and not to say BEING ABLE TO DRIVE A SPEEDBOAT AT THE OPEN SEA was AWESOMENESS! i dont even drive a car much and yet,i get to experience to drive a boat.i feel that this is a once in a lifetime experience that is just pure awesomnesssssssss.also,getting to see eagles and bats(kinda creepy) and other stuff was fun too.also,being able to see people getting high as a result of alcohol was kinda amusing and very interesting.
And i think this is the first time i've been to a trip with my college mates.and also after form 5..yes,i lead a kinda boring,peaceful and depressing life at times.

Still can't get over some kegeraman that big bang and 2ne1,miss A and other artist were rocking out at singapore last fri for korean music wave.*heavy sigh* i wonder when will be the day that i am able to see them perform live.=(( Shinee is coming to singapore for concert in September. I really hope that they really DO COME to malaysia in september too..hopefully,they rumours/news that i heard is truelah.Currently loving 2pm's new album and am waiting for Miss A's new album A class to be released.can't wait for 2ne1's new album too!! and it seems that big bang members are currently working on their solo albums.wohoooooooo.Also discovered this singer called Canaan and his songs are awesome.so far,just manage to find 2 of his digital single and there are no translations to his songs.sedih betul.=((( Also loving The Temper Trap and Beyonce's new album (countdown and best thing i never had is love).here's some pics,in random order.

Macau babyyyyy =D

At Cheong Fatt Tze mansion.

i like this pic somehow.=)

<3

the escape route where i manage to climb.

the people i treasure,yik yee is missing here =(

crabs!!!!

love this pic =D

big bang rocks!! vip forever =D

AWESOMENESS

Live fast,die young,go all in

me,driving the boat.whaddup yo =p

love this pic somehow

All of us =D

yes!i can do this .hahahaha

Victoria Harbor =)

with Dr.Sun Yat Sen.we have matching color baju =DD

love the pic of the clouds here

snoopy world =DD

with lots of love,peace out