Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I guess its human nature

I dont know about you,but have you have moments where you get something you wished/hoped for,you then go on and want to have something more? To put it in another way,there is a certain amount of greed in all of us.It's just how consumed in it are we to really commit one of this 7 sins.

I have over the years not try to really compare myself in terms of grades specifically here to others.I hate it back then where my parents compare me and my high school friends.In college,they still do.I dont know if its cause they're teachers or something,but its irritating and hurtful for them to benchmark you against others at times.'You did good,but others was better-why are you not then?'

I have only tried not to think about others so much towards the end of my high school life.In college,I realised that there will always be people who are smarter than you,prettier and at times makes you feel that overall,that person is just better than you.At times where I am at my lowest,to describe myself in one word  (wholly not just on face value basis) would be me feeling ugly.Also,why am I not good enough?Yes.yes.moments of insecurities and low self-esteem.

Then I'll go why am i not good enough and all that drama and self-pitying and shit.At the end of the day though,if I want to life a life with that kinda thinking then i guess i would just not be happy being me.So,sometimes I do care how people perceive me.the words of a person telling me that i'm a goody two-shoes still rings in my head from time to time.And no,i did not take that as a compliment.I try not not give a shit much on what people think of me at times.You just can't please everyone.

Yea.I did a lot of waiting on Monday where I was waiting for the train and sorting my touch n go stuff at sentral.And so this thought s just came up and I stored it in my mind to blog about it,.Still working on how to further improve/change myself for the better,though its not easy I know.

My concept now is to give it all I've got,and if you have the ability to get/achieve it,go get it so that you wont live with regrets for you can't turn back time no matter how badly you wish for it at times.

Other than these kinda emo moments though,I am generally a happy,optimistic and simple,blur looking person.Who at times, my sister put it,only 'walks straight' and dont know how to look left or right at times =.=

-with lots of love,peace out-

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