Gahhh,it's like 2 and a half months more to exam.Status: Freaking out and the non-stop feeling of stress.Therapy of it:Putting on nail polishes,craving and eating fat foods,lots and lots of music and a little dose of english and korean drama during the weekends.
At times,just to take my mind from thinking about my daily stress and stuff,I find myself thinking/forming some thoughts on some other things in life.I was watching Grey's Anatomy (an avid fan !) and on one of its episode in Season 8,the theme of the episode was a take on What Ifs.What if I choose this route,what would the outcome be like,what if that something didn't happen,what would happen? and watching that episode,some of the outcome was unexpected and funny.But,as I was watching some of it just didn't feel right you know.Maybe it's because for 8 seasons,I was happy with how some things were and like thought that it was just right for it to be like that.
Thoughts of what ifs..Of course I thought about it.What if I decided to study something else? what if I decided to join college at a later intake? What if I decided to like change and become a total opposite of myself just maybe fit in or join people I think was cool in college or like to just follow the trend of smoking,going clubbing ever so frequently and getting drunk and whatnot?
The ending of that episode of Grey's is that,if the route that you have chosen back in time was different from it was now,one way or another,if what is meant to be will be.If you are destined to get to know a person,be firm friends with them or whatsoever,even if you have taken a different path at times,if you're destined in your lifetime to get to know them,one way or another,you'll get to that point in your life.It may take a different path/time to reach there,but at the end of the day,the final the outcome will still be somewhat the same.
I am a believer of that too.And I just love that episode.I find myself thinking a few years back too,like what would my life be if i had not met my college friends?what if zi stop trying to maintain my friendship with my high school close friends? I'm very thankful to have come to know an awesome bunch of friends.Being in college,in a new environment and all is like starting school all over again..Leaning new stuff,meeting new people,etc.Only thing is,it's a much more scary and I may say a bit cruel..Like if you don't meet the right friends,you're life would be different.Yes.you may find at times that hey,trying this and that is something new and it's actually fun.Why have I not do something like this before.But,I feel it;s important to stay grounded to a certain extent at times.Change and adapt is all good but to go to the extent to become someone where at the end of the day,you find yourself being in actual fact all alone.Is it the real meaning of happiness or something that you want?
I feel that everyone has many different layers of personality and you display them differently depending on the group that you're in,hence resulting you getting to mix a wide variety group of friends,if you're usually of the neutral type of person.It depends really. Hmm,one would think,does that makes you fake since you're acting differently with different people? I'm of the personal opinion,that it's not really fake.It depends on how you look at things lah.This is merely my outlook lah.
I'm pretty much a quiet person at times.(gasp.! shocked??!! ) hahahaha.in the sense that it takes me time to warm up to someonelah.I don't really talk much if I don't really know you.This is for real.BUT,when I discover that you and I share something which I love,for example,korean stuff.Hahahaha.You'll see my eyes shining suddenly and there goes my mouth.Not only thatlah,I mean if I get to know you further and we can like get along,then you'll slowly realise that umm,I love gossips (muahahaha.who doesn't?) am very blurrr at times,impulsive,am a cool nerd.=p not what I am of your first impression when you meet me perhaps? unless like you meet me at times when I tengah ber 38-ing with my friends.(habis ruin my image) hahahahaha.
So yea,I'm really thankful to be able to meet many awesome people in my life.Forgive me if I have ever pissed you off in any way intentionally or unintentionally.Everyone is not perfect nor a saint.Nor can one ever please everyone in the world.
-with lots of love,peace out-