I dont know if I have an old soul or it's like i can be so hollow/feelingless/cold at times.(or is it most of the time) I don't know what got me or made me to become like this.I may have some ideas,but it think it happen without me really realizing it until like a year or two ago.That by no means really equals to me being a boring person.Well,if you know me well enough,I don't think I am a boring a person lah.Being quiet at times,yes.But that does not mean I am a boring,nerd and an outdated person from the entertainment/outside world.Really I am not.
I just feel at times,some stuff that happens,doesnt surprise me as i think people would expect me to react.Partly I think its because I see the news in question in another perspective and at some times,I either don't really give a damn or that I have this concept of ''why waste my energy on such stuff ? instead should better focus my energy on things that makes me feel happy and positive''.
I remembered my lecturer telling me that people generally dont change.There are sayings which said that people do,but its very hard and rare.I agree with the statement.Also,I have been thinking,sometimes,why expect someone to behave or act in the way you want them to be? I meant,yes,you can have expectations on what is a nice,responsible person/friend,etc.etc. But,expecting too much is bad.Why? when you realise they are not who you expect them to be,BAM.you'll suffer a great fall.The disappointment,anger,feeling cheated,feeling that the person is fake,all these will come into you
r head.And you'll start coming up with thoughts that will slowly differ from a simple clear picture.
Hence,once in a while,if my brain and heart is as smart as it is now,I tell myself,have expectations,just not too high.If you want a high one,be prepared for a bad fall if its not what you expect it to be.A fake person ? Every person in this world(i believe) have a fake persona in them.It depends whether you'll be able to witness another person's fake persona or if you'll realise it yourself when you are fake.
I'm only human,and I admit that I too can be fake and a goody goody two shoes at times.I'm no angel nor am I a real b*tch..I learnt the hard way when I was about 11 or 12 years old that not everyone in world will like you.There will be people who will hate you.And learnt around 16 years old or so that,you cant make everyone like you and if a person want to hate you,and you cant change their perspective then so be it.Heck,I'm no perfect person.I just try to live my life in a way I think that is right/moral/good/as I suppose how I should live them.
-with lots of love,peace out-