Trying

Trying to achieve some things on a bigger/greater scale,hence certain sacrifices need to be made.
I feel everything comes with a price-and that it is not necessarily in monetary form.
It scares me,it worries me.
But I guess I should not dwell to much it in and just try to face them face on when the moment comes,
Because when it does,that's when you know whether it was all worth it or not.

-with lots of love,peace out.

Who's your person?

Hello there,we're now in the March. This month for me personally is there seems to be a LOT of event I wanna attend but at this current moment,I don't think I will be attending those which I wanted to attend which pisses me off a little and makes me sad at the same time.

But oh well,we'll see how it goes. Can't have everything I want to just go my way at times right? Shall try not to be a brat about it and whine-though this requires a lot of effort.

Am looking out to the future of things I hope to experience to which I don't if it will really come true. That being so, I am scared as to what the future holds for me in many aspects. I just hope that I will be strong enough to embrace all that will be thrown into my direction.

Just finished watching Grey's Anatomy and unlike korean dramas which portrays non-existent almost perfect dream guys and relationships, I love it cause it shows how people deal with the hardest challenges in their lives and how hard is it to maintain a relationship and to actually find someone who just gets you and you doing the same towards that person. To put it in words, to just find a person who is your person you know? So yeah. I'm still looking for that person I guess.

p/s: may the force be with me this sunday! I really want to get a good seat for 2NE1's AON concert! That would be the only concert that I maybe attending for the first half of 2014 and before my exams and stuff. (so so so sad right? *sigh* )

-with lots of love,peace out-

How's life

A friend who I've not heard from sometime asked me a question one day : How is life?
I paused for a moment.Different thoughts starting popping up in my mind as I try and type out an answer.
It also occurred to me that it's been a long time sincesomeone asked me that question.

How is life ? ( how is my life?)
This is a very good question.
On one hand,the pessimistic side of me wanted to answer: My life is not so good right now.To be honest, I am not entirely depressed about my life , I can still smile and laugh at things,but when I am left alone at times,there's just a certain amount of unavoidable sadness and disappointment (?) that starts to creep in. I feel like I was suddenly thrust into the spoltight of having to act like an adult. A part of me can't help but think : I am to young for these kinda shit. I am tired.Can I not deal with these kind of stuff?

Those thoughts written above came into my mind and lingered on for a minute or two.I then said to myself : Let's not freak my friend out and let's be positive and let's interpret that question in a different perspective.

And so I replied : Life is ok.Just some stress is piling up in respect about my exams.

With that,momentarily I tell myself that I am fine. Life is good. I can get through this. I am a stronger person than I think I am and I need to be patient.

-with lots of love,peace out.-

Some favourite quotes of mine as of late.

''Each person has only one life to live and that which occurs only once and never again..thus the ''lightness'' in being.''
- Milan Kundera : The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

''People live really diligently even though they know they're going to die.
Even though they know they will break up at one point,
When they love,they love like there's no tomorrow.
Those childish beings are exactly what people are.

Things will get better as time passes.It could even become as if it never happened.''
-My Love from Another Star-( a korean drama)

''So I build me a bubble,
Then build a world I know will hold''
-Lyrics from the song by Santigold :Shooting arrows at the sky.

 “When you realize the value of all life, you dwell less on what is past and concentrate more on the preservation of the future”.
 -Dian Fossey

-with lots of love,peace out.-

Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart.

After having to deal with certain ordeals in life,
a thought or should I say a song title came to my mind.
''Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart.''

Yes,I thought I could,but I couldn't.
Instead I needed and wanted a hug in the process of trying to do so.

I don't know exactly why I felt the need and want of getting a hug from someone,
I am not exactly a person who does a lot of this in my life to be honest.
I just suddenly feel the want of someone holding me and to comfort me just for a little while
To get the feeling of everything is alright.Though shit happens,it's all good.

With that, I hugged my favourite pillow tight,
Assuring myself,things are going to be alright,
I should stay strong and try not to fall to much into the pit of self-pity
With that,I drift in and out of sleep to tomorrow with a new enthusiasm to life,
Trying to sleep with a broken heart.

Gone Too Soon

My brother brought back a new puppy a couple of days before 2013 ends.I was excited for it but the excitement and happiness didnt last for long.It ended too fast perhaps.The puppy is a boy cross terrier named Tori.

It was the first time my family had actually taken in a dog this young and we have zero experience as to how to handle it the correct way.I discovered that he was vomiting worms one day and he got sick and eventually passed away  early morning on the 4th of January.

It took me an hour or so to really process the fact.Upon hearing the news,I think my emotions and reactions just went numb ( I myself thought I was crazy for reacting so calmly) and I tried to go back to bed as I had class the next morning.It was about an hour later about 4 am or so that I finally accepted it and started to cry really hard and really realized that I had lost my dog for good.

I think I cried for an hour or so before finally drifting in and out of sleep and decided to skip my morning tutorials and just attend my lectures in the noon.I tried to stay calm in the train on the way to kl and as long as I dont think about it or so,I could control my tears which was a hard thing to do.

I just realized that this is the first time I dealt with a death of my pet.The first dog that I had,went it passed away ,I was too young at that time to really feel the effects of death I guess.

So,this hit me quite hard and I couldnt help but wonder if it was my fault that Tori died.I had to deal with this lost at odd hours and as much time I had over the weekend. It's certainly not a good way to start of my year in a way,but I will not give up all hope just like that.

We all I guess but would not wish for it to happen to all my close one, have to deal with a couple of rough patches/time in our life.Just so we could be a stronger person and have the determination and strength to want to live our life better than we did yesterday in my opinion.

Rest in peace Tori,you were gone too soon and I am sorry that I was not much of a use in easing your pain.

2014!

Hello there.It's the dawn of another New Year.I hope all of you had a great celebration. Here's to the next 300 over days.Let's go get it.

with lots of love peace out.