Wednesday, May 10, 2017

I'm 2 more months away from finishing my pupillage! I cannot believe that this is happening! Like when I first started, 9 months seems like such a long way to go. It's 3/4 of a year of doing your pupillage! That feels almost forever with the fact that one is not entitled to any leave. Though of course... I manage to have some. ;)

I just finished watching the last episode to Season 6 of Suits. The moment where Mike got admitted to the New York Bar.. the look of shock that it is really happening. I love that moment. And as cliche as it sounds, it made me realized that I am really passionate (?) about what I am doing. I cant wait until the day I get called to the Bar. I know I get a bit too excited about things like that. Some people feel it's just another milestone in one's life. Nothing big to celebrate or shout about. Some even don't look forward to it, feeling that it's such a hassle and can't wait to get it over with.  But to me, it's more of taking in the moment and appreciating it as something that you would only experience once at the age you were living at. Like graduating with a degree. Yes, you might go and and have a Masters later on, but it's just not the same. Like all the years of studying and what not, finally comes down to the moment on your graduation day! One should totally celebrate it ! ... unless you have a valid reason not to.

So, I can't wait and am really looking forward to the day I officially get admitted to the Court of Malaysia as an advocate and solicitor. The blood, sweat, tears and time that I have been putting in for the past 8 years all comes down to this. So is it a big deal to me? being the person that I am, HELL YEAH it is! Trust me to be all excited and announcing to the whole world about this. Hahahaa.

I don't know if I am really cut out for what I am currently doing, corporate law. Do I really fit in? I question myself from time to time on this. I know I am not stupid and actually kinda do have the brains for it. But I know, sometimes, although you have the brains, the commitment to work hard, the interest and the passion, if you don't have the strength and the character for it, if it's not meant for you. You can't force it. So, in times of self-doubt, these thoughts come into my head. I know I am still very young and there is a lot more experience that need to be gained here, but I just like to cut my losses early at times. (so Asian, I know)

But every now and then, when I get to see the end of something or manage to solve a problem that I am facing. I feel a great sense of satisfaction, the thrill of adrenaline and so very happy that I'll do a mini celebratory dance. Hahaha. I'm crazy, I know. And that made me realized, that I love what I do. Yes, I complain, whine, bitch, get annoyed, frustrated and super stress and scared about what I do. But, sometimes, I can't help but think that it was totally worth it and so thankful for the experience. And hey, whatever that doesnt kill you, only makes you stronger!

BUT .... I do want to try out different things too. And if I have the chance for a change in career, why not you know... or being to do something at the side. We shall see where this goes.


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