Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Beach Boys - Wouldnt It Be Nice

I can't help but wonder, and I really want to ask you:

How are you really? How is life? Are you happy?

 Are you seeing someone now? Is it ok for us to see other people?

Are we ok to see other people? Am I ok if you see other people?

What are we actually?

Friends, yes, is it only that now? Gah. This is driving me crazy, but I need to write down my thoughts, fear, insecurity, whatever have you here.

You seem to be the cool and composed one who seems not as badly affected by this than I am. But I know somehow, you do feel something. I just don't know how deep. That's the part where I feel I can't really read you.

I am an impatient person.. and I think a lot. Call it insecurity or a person who's crazy obsessive, or someone who has no chill. But I just wonder.

I should take a step back now. What we did wasn't entirely normal given that we've agreed to stay as friends without the idea of what will happen in the future.  Maybe what it is now is the 'normal' up to the universe's standard.

I don't love what we have now, but it's 100000000000% better than not have anything at all. And I'm not done fighting yet.

p/s: perhaps I should nickname you my ray of unspent sunshine.


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