Monday, June 19, 2017

Nearing the end of another chapter now

I have 15 working days left before my 9 months of pupillage comes to an end!  It's surreal!

It feels just like a month ago that I started the dreaded 9 months (without any official leave entitlements whatsoever) training, feeling scared and nervous as to what lies ahead of me. Certain months were bad as I discovered the firm where I was reading my pupillage at is not as it seems.

I did however decide to stay on, for the better purpose for my resume. The targeted expiry date: December 2017 or perhaps by May 2018. Because I am planning to save as much money as possible for #SF2018 or #uk2018. Sigh. The plan is upon leaving, I would take a personal leave of 1 month or more to travel and then start anew at another place (fingers crossed!)

Towards the end of this 9 months, I am really feeling the effects of burning out. You just feel so exhausted and can't wait where you finally get a break. I do not really mind not going anywhere to relax (though of course, if given the option that would be the best!). I just want to wake up late without having to worry about work or obsessively checking my emails throughout the day.

About 2 weeks back or so, I realized that I need to learn to draw the line of switching off work after certain hours and on days where I am legally and officially entitled to not work  (certain exceptions are applicable of course). As advised by J.Pwu who was told by his wise colleague :

"Our will will never be done, and it will be here in the morning when we come back. Go home and rest."

And another interesting analogy which I did not think of before: " And as much as you may think you can't miss a day, it's like the oxygen mask analogy: you need to take care of yourself before you take care of others."

The past 8.5 months have been such a journey. I made new friends, met new people, discovered things about myself, experienced stress on another level and of different type (the fear that you'll screw things up cause it's all on you now), cried, laughed, be annoyed and had to act bimbo on certain stuff, and all in all, it was a fun experience. I was thinking to myself (which I always do) - had I not choosen to accept this pupillage offer (which I almost did), would I be able to cross path with the people that I've come to know the past months? Do I have regrets of not staying on at Wong?

I do not know the answer to the first questions. It could be a 50:50 thing. Well, getting to know my colleagues like how I would know them now perhaps is not possible, but the people that I've met outside work, I wonder... 

Are there regrets of not accepting pupillage at Wong, and getting to learn IP stuff which might or might not make it easier for me to apply to an in-house MNC in the future? There isn't much of a regret to it really I guess.

And I am of course forever thankful of getting the chance to meet everyone (colleagues, legal aid group, my ray of unspent sunshine, random people during my pupillage) and to have my favourite people in the worldTM to support me and hear me rant and assure me of my insecurities are normal and that I am better than I think I am and to have more confidence in it.

Fingers crossed that I am able to have an awesome holiday (with enough money, sigh), my loved ones will be able to attend my long call, that all my papers and whatnot will be in order, I get pretty flowers and monetary contributions and awesome gifts,  and that hopefully what I wish for the end of the year or for next yearwill happen as well.


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