Ugly.

I think I’m ugly and nobody wants to love me,just like her I wanna be pretty,I wanna be pretty,dont lie to my face,telling me I'm pretty -2ne1--Ugly-Check out the whole song here.The lyrics are meaningful
The words above got me thinking:

Some people do not judge a book by it's cover,but judges its content instead.Some are not even a lookist  at all,be it for friendship or a relationship.But,in this materialistic world,where first impression to a certain extent does play a very important role,how can one not help but judge others? I think one of the reason is because,it's hard to instantly judge how good a person's character/attitude is at first instance.All this is slowly revealed over a period of time.Plus the fact after centuries of reinforcement that the pretty people always get things that they want easier,makes everyone more materialistic,no?

I admit,I am one too who likes to judge.Well,who wouldn't swoon or get happy if one meets a hot guy/check out a pretty lady right? Who wouldn't also stare at someone because you are amazed by the fact that they are super fat (to point it out this bluntly,many apologies if you're offended). Though we may not say this aloud,I think these thoughts do come across or mind.Yes? No?

I'm not born with super good looks or whatsoever.I feel I'm just average.plain.ordinary.I'm not ugly though,am I? Without braces,I wouldn't have nice teeth today.Without being active in high school,I don't think I'll be slim? I have some insecuritiesabout myself.I know it's all about being confident and how it helps to bring out the best in you,etc,etc.Well,I just can't help it at times.

Fear of gaining weight and not being thin enough,not being fair enough( its kind of acceptable now,for me).Fear of not being girly /feminine /attractive enough.There's at times a constant obsession / fear of what is it that's missing in me,that I'm not pretty enough,not good enough..And my current face condition,urghh,I hate it.pimples.I miss my old complexion.It's funny how when you start to notice a flaw in you,you'll starting checking out and comparing that flaw with others.And if others are perfect,well,it's a blow to your confidence/self esteem.

Yes.That is how insecure I can be at times.Scary,obsessive perhaps? Well,yes.But,am I to the extent where I would do anything crazy or stupid or suicidal to be pretty? Well,no,cause I'm too logical and not brave enough.Am I still insecure and striving to be pretty ? YES.I still am.On top of that,I'm trying to be beautiful.There's a difference between these two words.Ooh,also,not forgetting being awesome.
p/s:On why would someone wants to be pretty,well,I think everyone wants it.It's just a want,a wish or a need to some.being able look good,makes you feel good,and that will multiply into a million different good things I guess.
-with lots of love,peace out-