it's about moi: July 2011

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Ugly.

I think I’m ugly and nobody wants to love me,just like her I wanna be pretty,I wanna be pretty,dont lie to my face,telling me I'm pretty -2ne1--Ugly-Check out the whole song here.The lyrics are meaningful
The words above got me thinking:

Some people do not judge a book by it's cover,but judges its content instead.Some are not even a lookist at all,be it for friendship or a relationship.But,in this materialistic world,where first impression to a certain extent does play a very important role,how can one not help but judge others? I think one of the reason is because,it's hard to instantly judge how good a person's character/attitude is at first instance.All this is slowly revealed over a period of time.Plus the fact after centuries of reinforcement that the pretty people always get things that they want easier,makes everyone more materialistic,no?

I admit,I am one too who likes to judge.Well,who wouldn't swoon or get happy if one meets a hot guy/check out a pretty lady right? Who wouldn't also stare at someone because you are amazed by the fact that they are super fat (to point it out this bluntly,many apologies if you're offended). Though we may not say this aloud,I think these thoughts do come across or mind.Yes? No?

I'm not born with super good looks or whatsoever.I feel I'm just average.plain.ordinary.I'm not ugly though,am I? Without braces,I wouldn't have nice teeth today.Without being active in high school,I don't think I'll be slim? I have some insecuritiesabout myself.I know it's all about being confident and how it helps to bring out the best in you,etc,etc.Well,I just can't help it at times.

Fear of gaining weight and not being thin enough,not being fair enough( its kind of acceptable now,for me).Fear of not being girly /feminine /attractive enough.There's at times a constant obsession / fear of what is it that's missing in me,that I'm not pretty enough,not good enough..And my current face condition,urghh,I hate it.pimples.I miss my old complexion.It's funny how when you start to notice a flaw in you,you'll starting checking out and comparing that flaw with others.And if others are perfect,well,it's a blow to your confidence/self esteem.

Yes.That is how insecure I can be at times.Scary,obsessive perhaps? Well,yes.But,am I to the extent where I would do anything crazy or stupid or suicidal to be pretty? Well,no,cause I'm too logical and not brave enough.Am I still insecure and striving to be pretty ? YES.I still am.On top of that,I'm trying to be beautiful.There's a difference between these two words.Ooh,also,not forgetting being awesome.
p/s:On why would someone wants to be pretty,well,I think everyone wants it.It's just a want,a wish or a need to some.being able look good,makes you feel good,and that will multiply into a million different good things I guess.
-with lots of love,peace out-

Thursday, July 21, 2011

weird-twisted theory of mine

Hello,hello,i have been crazily just an expression,do not take it literally) reading this blog called parkandcube and i love it somehow.At first,i was just there to browse over the pics,but,when i started to really read the blog post as i feel a bit bad,i love it.i feel the writer is funny and witty which is at par with my sense of humour.And hence,the craze begins.And i read that its better that one has a light/white coloured background instead of dark ones as it enables the reader to read it more easily.This has certainly solve the mystery of why i dont have the mood to go through my blog posts even again after i have posted them.many apologies if i have been torturing you guys who have been reading my posts.

And hence,i decided to change my blog skin,etc.i suck at finding my own theme for the blog background,etc,so,just opted for the ones provided by blogger,but i'm happy with how it turns out =DD hmm,life have been peaceful or you could say boring lately.Though in a way,i'm happy living this livestyle of lazing around at home,watching dramas,checking twitter and fb countless times for updates when i get too bored and starting my blog-stalking craze once in a while.I somehow cannot watch a drama for the whole day,i get bored if i do so,so,usually,i will pause for a while and do some blog reading or fb or something.i think i have some short attention span for drama or something.=.=''' BUT,i'm proud to announce that i have finished watching baby-faced beauty,special A,on the way to finish secret garden(finally,i know) and lie to me.and in the process to start watching city hunter and heartstrings.You know there's this occupation where people become a fashion/personal buyer? i think i should change my occupation to something where i can watch dramas,and in a way,i get paid for it.......hahahaha.just kidding.it's just some fantasy job of mine.

Also,i love multi-tasking.i dont know why.Though i have also read this somewhere that multi-tasking can at times be bad for you,at it reduces your brain's ability to focus or something along the line.But,i can't stop myself.i feel it's a waste of time,i f i dont do something at times.like,if you're reading blogs,then do with while hearing songs too.i guess its just my weird-twisted concept.Ooh,another reason i plan to just spend my holidays lazing around like that,is because,i somehow get the feeling that i wouldnt have the chance to do so once college starts again and i plan to work for my next holiday at some law firm to gain some experience and also the fact that you're only 20 once in your lifetime,and if like i dont do these kinda stuff, i.e. lazing around,being a pig and getting nagged at being so ,etc, i dont think i'll be able to do so when i'm like 25 right?? once again this is my weird-twisted concept again i guess.

ok.i'm supposed to sleep now.just had an urge to blog in order to make up for a lack of loyalty to frequently update my blog the past few months.hahahahahaa.Errr,ok.i just realised that i'm rambling too much here haven't I ? i blame it on all the skills i acquired while writing up all the law essays =p you'll gain a lot of skills in crapping/writing long&full sentences at times.heehehehehe.ok.i.shall.stop.now.yeoreobun,good bam
-with lots of love,peace out-

Monday, July 18, 2011

Oopsy,it's been almost a month since i updated my blog and i did not realised it at all.hmm,the end of june till today was a bit of a busy week for me,as i went to Hong Kong,Macau,Penang and Langkawi in between 26th June-16th July! i cannot believe it myself.Sat on an aeroplane for the first time in my life to Hong Kong and i sat alone as my sis and her friend boight their tickets earlier.And i get to met a Hongkie guy while in a plane too.hahahaha.

Hmmm,to summarize my HK trip....I love the food and the shopping there as there are a LOT of delicious stuff and definitely some cheap stuff to buy if you compare it with m'sia.But,i do not like the people and the way they live their lives there.it's all so...stress up and stuff.and i think it's my bad luck,i met a number of rude people there too.plus the fact that i can't read chinese...i prefer life in m'sia which is more of a relax/chilling mode in certain aspect.But,HK in terms of service and technology and stuff,it's definitely better and more efficient..i'm kinda lazy to post pictures here,so,just check out my fb ya,hehehe.Ooh oh,i almost forgot,we walk so much in HK that every night,i feel as if my leg is gonna patah soon.but,it's a good exercise and my friend said,i still look the same(did not grow fat) after i came back.which is GOOD NEWS to me.muahahahahahhaa.I almost forgot,went to campfire on the 9th of July.it has been like almost 2-3 years since i went back to school,and there were a few changes made,and looking at it,i miss my high school days.met wjb too after 3 years i think?and i thought i would feel something,anything,but i felt nothing.i guess its a good thing.feel that i seem to always make the wrong choices at times.(in guys) *sighs*

Then,i went to Penang and langkawi.the last time i went to penang was like 4 years back,so,it has been a LONG time.not sure if i have been to langkawi.i think i have not,since i have zero memory of the places there.The entire trip was fun and amusing.Went to the war museum and did stuff i never imagine i would do-went into a(if i am not mistaken) 20m deep tunnel and then came back up through an escape route.was not confident that i could climb back up at first,but,thanks to me friends,i managed to do so.=D <3 hmm,went to eat all the good food of course and did some random stuff when playing cards.also,broke a record by squeezing in 7 people in 1 car.hahhahahahaa. epicness!!!!ooh and also getting to stand&sit at the back of a lorry taking in the wind was so so so much fun(did not manage to snap a picture of this sadly =(
Langkawi was fun too,not really a person who loves the sea/water,but walking along the beach was awesome.and also getting to write at the sand and stuff.hehehehehe.Also,riding the speedboat and not to say BEING ABLE TO DRIVE A SPEEDBOAT AT THE OPEN SEA was AWESOMENESS! i dont even drive a car much and yet,i get to experience to drive a boat.i feel that this is a once in a lifetime experience that is just pure awesomnesssssssss.also,getting to see eagles and bats(kinda creepy) and other stuff was fun too.also,being able to see people getting high as a result of alcohol was kinda amusing and very interesting.
And i think this is the first time i've been to a trip with my college mates.and also after form 5..yes,i lead a kinda boring,peaceful and depressing life at times.

Still can't get over some kegeraman that big bang and 2ne1,miss A and other artist were rocking out at singapore last fri for korean music wave.*heavy sigh* i wonder when will be the day that i am able to see them perform live.=(( Shinee is coming to singapore for concert in September. I really hope that they really DO COME to malaysia in september too..hopefully,they rumours/news that i heard is truelah.Currently loving 2pm's new album and am waiting for Miss A's new album A class to be released.can't wait for 2ne1's new album too!! and it seems that big bang members are currently working on their solo albums.wohoooooooo.Also discovered this singer called Canaan and his songs are awesome.so far,just manage to find 2 of his digital single and there are no translations to his songs.sedih betul.=((( Also loving The Temper Trap and Beyonce's new album (countdown and best thing i never had is love).here's some pics,in random order.