if only i could turn back time,this will never happen

as my family planned to go to Muar for a 3 day 2 night stay.I agreed to skipped class on Wed,Thurs and Fri...And drove Karan's car to go down.And shortly after the toll,dad stopped at the emergency lane and I took over the car,as i wanted to practice driving.Sis safety belt got some problem also,so dad went to fix it as well..Just as i started driving not long after that,from afar i saw a red lorry.then i heard that cars we honking at me and i was trying to drive faster as i thought i was super slow(was driving in the left lane) and before i could even say the complete 3 words of wtf, BAM the red lorry hit the back of the car.I could hear mum and sis screaming and sis saying ''why does it have to happen to her again'' dad told them to stay calm when BAM car was hit the second time.

I looked to my right and thought it was a bus,turns out to be a Shell oil tanker.the tanker just bergeser with the right hand side of the car,(meaning my side and my sis' side)...I think i did press the brake or something when this happen? i dont know..not sure.the whole thing happened so fast.after the car stopped.I turn and saw sis and mum...both of them couldnt move..The cermin besar behind was gone...Window at sis side were cracked but not broken...I freaked...Ppl came to look at us and ask us to move the car to the side...I got down to let dad drive and i was shaking all over...Dad and my specs dropped when the accident happened,and i was struggling to fine mine in the car.I was shaking all over and could hear my mum and sis freaking  out..then,the PLUS police came,the lorry drivers who bang us came,etc..mum and sis were sent to the seremban GH.and a guy came and help sent me and dad home and then after that we went to the hospital.

Thank god mum and sis are ok...Mum sprained her neck..sis got bruises here and there,and also had a stiff neck and some part of the body,the muscle is pain..so am i...but much better than sis..Then,after that went to the police station to make a police report and saw the Shell oil tanker driver.He said he was trying to avoid the red lorry when he saw the red lorry hitting my car,and my car then spin a little and when to the second late.he said luckily it  was not he who hit me,as he was carrying some 40 000 ton or something litter of oil.and he was so scared as well.And said luckily my car didnt go on and spin to the 3rd lane as if it did,he dont know what would have happen as a very fast lorry cargo was driving pass.And cars driving in the 3rd lane,is as you know,driving at very high speed.

The police sarjan after hearing my story and the others involved,said that in usual cases,those coming out from the emergency lane and get into a accident will usually be in the wrong because if you were to come out from the lane if you really take precaution and there is really no car,an accident would have happen.Anyways,he told me he will investigate this thing further and will tell me by next week or so.And if he feels that i am in the wrong,then he will saman me....Dad said nevermind,as long as everyone's save...But i feel super guilty...I saw what my sis and family gone through an accident last year which was a major one...And i do not want to see my sis go through it again and yet,it was me now who caused her to re-lived the fear...And to hear them scream at that time.i could not explain how i feel..The feeling of guilt,is indescribable.But,all of them told me to not blame myself,and its not my fault..I'm still wondering how did the thing happen...I didnt speed..And dad was sitting beside me guiding me..And i did check the mirror and all before getting out from the emergency lane..I couldnt remember what i did wrong.seriously.And to cause my family to be hurt cause of me,,i feel really really bad......and its sis new car somemore.and the damaged cause,i could say,is pretty bad? i didnt realised that my side of the car door was dented too until i went to the car workshop and saw it yesterday...the back part was damaged the most..and even the lorry car number's tanda can be seen on my car. =.=

i am so sorry...i dare say,that if now,you ask me to drive,i still dare to drive on normal roads,but on highway??? i dont know......i dont even know how can people trust me with my driving again..i dont even feel like letting my sis be with me when i drive..at first it was planned that i would drive my sis around in kl..haih...i feel that i have let everyone in my family down and have cause them hurt again.if i was alone that time,it would be better.at least,sis and all wouldnt get hurt and only me...i'm so sorry.below are some pics from the accident.

-with a lot of regret and thankful at the same time that everyone's ok,peace out-