I guess its human nature

I dont know about you,but have you have moments where you get something you wished/hoped for,you then go on and want to have something more? To put it in another way,there is a certain amount of greed in all of us.It's just how consumed in it are we to really commit one of this 7 sins.

I have over the years not try to really compare myself in terms of grades specifically here to others.I hate it back then where my parents compare me and my high school friends.In college,they still do.I dont know if its cause they're teachers or something,but its irritating and hurtful for them to benchmark you against others at times.'You did good,but others was better-why are you not then?'

I have only tried not to think about others so much towards the end of my high school life.In college,I realised that there will always be people who are smarter than you,prettier and at times makes you feel that overall,that person is just better than you.At times where I am at my lowest,to describe myself in one word  (wholly not just on face value basis) would be me feeling ugly.Also,why am I not good enough?Yes.yes.moments of insecurities and low self-esteem.

Then I'll go why am i not good enough and all that drama and self-pitying and shit.At the end of the day though,if I want to life a life with that kinda thinking then i guess i would just not be happy being me.So,sometimes I do care how people perceive me.the words of a person telling me that i'm a goody two-shoes still rings in my head from time to time.And no,i did not take that as a compliment.I try not not give a shit much on what people think of me at times.You just can't please everyone.

Yea.I did a lot of waiting on Monday where I was waiting for the train and sorting my touch n go stuff at sentral.And so this thought s just came up and I stored it in my mind to blog about it,.Still working on how to further improve/change myself for the better,though its not easy I know.

My concept now is to give it all I've got,and if you have the ability to get/achieve it,go get it so that you wont live with regrets for you can't turn back time no matter how badly you wish for it at times.

Other than these kinda emo moments though,I am generally a happy,optimistic and simple,blur looking person.Who at times, my sister put it,only 'walks straight' and dont know how to look left or right at times =.=

-with lots of love,peace out-

Birthday Shout out to Ms.King Gold Bell

Many happy returns again! (i think that is my current fav. birthday wish to people in general) hahahhaha.Had a good time today.Hope you do too.Had not really been hanging out a lot but every now and then punya hang out is truly an awesome and memorable one <3 p="p">
-with lots of love,happy birthday kim!-

I'm not the tidiest person out there.I admit that i can be soooo super lazy at times.But when I clean up my room,etc.I really do them.And who likes seeing it being messed up right? It pisses me off really.I'm no neat freak.But like after eating and all,dont just chuck everything and leave it for me to clear up just because I'm currently having holiday and am very free.I dont see you doing that to me.

And the most irritating part at times is then being blamed for cleaning the room,lazy,blah,blah blah.Why is it that only one side of it is being seen? Yes.call me selfish or calculative or whatever .When I speak these out loud,I'm being called as of the above selfish and calculative.So,do you expect me to do everything? You have your own hands and legs.It's not that you're super incapable.Then the reason of being in an accident last time,and so cannot do heavy housework or stressful environment all week is tiring and so you should help out come up.

But then,when you're angry,you say i dont know how to do the housework and all.Seriously.How can I not be pissed off? You're preaching to someone who does it for siblings MOST of the time? The make the place dirty and all and then go back to KL,I'll have to clean it. And the reason of being the youngest,your siblings have been doing it  for years come up.So,does this mean that they dont have to do it for the rest of their lives now since I have to 'gain the experience' now? Sorry,I dont see any logic in it. It's not that I am not willing to do it,it's just that sometimes I'm fed up.I am no saint and have a certain level of patience ok..and I'm tired of arguing about this and just prefer to not retort back.I however need to let this all out somewhere.And it helps by writing all these down.

-peace put-

I'll remember

I've been posting this annually for 4 years already,including this year.R.I.P Lee Eon.
Till today I am still not bored of Coffee Prince.And everytime i re-watch the drama,I can't believe that you're no longer on Earth.

-with lots of love-

V.I.P

Being the failed fan that I am,I was supposed to post this on the 18th of August,but I forgot.Happy Birthday to the one and only Kwon Ji Young.He is the person whom I have a million times dengan muka tebalnya refer to as my husband =p And I know he may not be the most good looking guy out there and at times may have a weird taste in fashion and hairstyle( cant help but admit this) I still *please prepare to vomit for the ultimate corny-ness* I still LOVE him. And also,Happy 6th Anniversary to Big Bang.Can't believe its already 6 years that I've been obsessed with them.=ppp I dont think I need t further explain how much I love them though for I think most people know how crazy I am over them.hahahahaha

p/s: Can't wait for the 25th!! G.D.'s mv gonna be out.Can't wait even more for his solo album!!!!

with lots of love,peace out

Birthday Shoutout to my sis.Happy 27th.=)

Part 3

As some of you may have known,after my exam I was all happy and relaxed and then the dreaded moment came when I got to know that my exam results will be released on 16th of August.And I told myself to NOT think about it till the Olympics ended.Why? because after it ended,it will be like 3 days more to the 16th.And I think almost 72 hours of nervousness and all would be more than enough.

And that 3 days passed by so fast,thanks to me distracting myself by cleaning and watching shows and reading.On the night of the 15th,I was experiencing temporary insanity if you may that I feel like screaming on top of my lungs to get all the nervousness and what not.

I knew the moment before exams and sitting through it that I would at best,get a 2.2 and worst failed my exam.Like for real.After the first paper which was tort,I literally went home and cried because I knew I screwed it up.I have never been this depressed and down about an exam since I was 13.Partly of the reason is I know myself pretty well about exams.It's either I know that I'm gonna be ok or I just screw it up.

I have been in one way or another been preparing for the worst and not have much of a high expectation for it always leads to great disappointment at times.16th came and my hands got cold and shaky,heart was beating madly and the mind was clueless on how to position itself.Make matters worse,at the last minute I couldn't find my student number.

When I saw my results,the first thing the eye focused on was not the marks but whether passed or not.And I literally cried when I saw I did.It was tears of relief and thankfulness.Year 2 is no joke.It was so so so much more harder than year 1.UOL as expected always surprises me.The subject that I thought I did well,I did not fare that well.Vice versa.I was very close to failing actually as I cukup-cukup got 40 for my Land Law.(*in no way that I'm a genius* but I thought I would do better in it.) and for those who are curious,I got a 2.2 overall for now.Shall work hard to graduate with a 2.1 or hopefully a 1st class.Its gonna be hard like hell but as they say,always aim for the stars.or is the moon? Eitherway,I'm gonna try my best for it!!

It was so surreal that I checked at my results for like 3 times to be sure.I would like to thank my lecturers,my family,my friends and my brain cells  for being there for me,encouraging me,making me feel guilty,entertaining me,teaching me,being patient with me at times where I could be bitchy or a total drama queen what not.thank you so much.I am truly thankful and blessed to have you all.

I am really bad at comforting people and really showing much affection (?) or emotion (?) openly.But I believe that everything happens for a reason.Happy,Sad,Good or Bad.And this may sound weird for you,but if at times,have you got the feeling where if everything you have ever dream off come true and you're so happy that it scares you? I have and somewhere at the back of my mind would suddenly say,this is just too real that it cannot be right.There must be something bad that will be happening.Yeah.I don't know what had lead me to think this way.Maybe it's because I have experience at times that to have everything you want/wish you want,there must certainly be a sacrificial value equivalent to it.Only then that it would be fair.That is how I see things at times.Life is not just a bed full of roses.

But (of course there's always a but) that doesnt mean that that the end.One should always find a solution to it,take things positively and to never give up.Everything happens for a reason and one should always stay strong!!

forgive me if the flow of this post is going in all direction,the thoughts are getting a bit muddled here.=.=

p/s: 59.60.51.40.What's this? A reminder for myself and something for you to figure out? hahahahaha.

-with lots of live,peace out-

Part 2

Dear beloved blog,I feel so sorry and ashamed as I just realised that there was only 1 post for the entire month of July.Epic,epic failure I know.I shall not be excuses and try to update as frequently and write as entertaining (perhaps) as possible.

I stumbled into a blog a few days bag.It's called leloveimage.It's kinda a unique blog as posts stories of people (like us) about their love story.Happy,sad,angry,sweet,one-sided,all the many sides of a relationship.And some of it were really good.As they wrote the story really good.I have a couple of blogs whom I have bookmarked in my computer that you could kinda say my daily reads (if they update'em).And I love some of it for their writing skills.

Whenever I read their posts I find myself asking myself,they write so so well.Why can't be at least half as funny or half as witty as them? The times where you find someone or a book or a blog that has the same brainwave of humor or logic or style of writing with you is just awesome for me,for its not easy to  share the same humor/opinion,etc with someone at times.

I dont really read back what I wrote here at times,but sometimes,just to reminisce over past events,I could see the difference in my style of writing and my thoughts on things.I guess maturity and exposure to different people and environment has help me grow and change to (hopefully) a better individual?

Of course the words spoken by my lecturer who shall not be named here that 'Generally it is very hard for a person to change' plays at the back of my head from time to time.I feel people do change,just not drastically or not wholly.Maybe only in certain expect depending on a person's character.

I've been spending sometime reading lately.Nope.Dont freak out.It's not study related.Being a nerd that I am,I love reading story books.(a culture my parents has encouraged me from young starting with Enid Blighton) Chick lits most of the time. I bought this book last year by Haruki Murakami called Birthday Stories.Reason: I was drawn to the title of the books.It contains a compilation of stories with the theme of birthdays.A variety of different takes of it.Some of the stories are nice,but there are some,which is a bit too deep for me I guess as I dont understand what I just read after finishing it.The ending is somewhat open ended,or maybe it's just me,not reading through the lines perhaps that got me thinking '' What? this is the end? so what happen in conclusion? like what? '' I think I'm gonna read it over again.not now perhaps.but a few later,just so I could test myself again.hahahahaa.

Am re-reading Marian Keyes books now.Starting from Watermelon.I love the way she writes.The stories are funny to me,but I dont think it applies to everyone,as my sis dont find it as amusing as I do.So.it's purely subjective.

Ok.Got one chunk of things I plan to write out.stay tuned for part 3 I guess? hahaahha.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Part 1

It's been like a decade again since I'm here.Part of me dont feel like updating much as I pretty much carry out the same routine daily and post after post about it would just bore you to death wouldn't it? I know I will.Hahaha.but a lot of things have been in my mind now that I feel the need to just pour everything out now.But there's quite a ton of random bits and pieces here and there that I decided to seperate it a bit.Let's start with the current music addiction.Its been sometime that there's a long list.And I realise that I cant really remember some songs title that I like at times,and me blog here provide the best storage of it =DDDDDD

Here it is:
Emeli Sande-Read All About it (part 3),My kind of Love
Tinie Tempah ft Emeli Sande-Let Go
Passion Pit-Cry Like a Ghost,Constant Conversations.
Robortom ft.Au Revoir Simone-Paganini Rocks (found it when i was watching taeyang's reality show-real sound ! how awesome is that?? )
Example-Kickstarts
J-Min-Stand Up
Phantom's new album
Teen Top-Falling in Love/whereas , party tonight.
BoA-the shadow
Beast-the day you rest,beautiful night.
Still addicted to 2ne1's I love You and Verbal Jint ft.Sanchez-You Deserve Better.

I guess that more of less it.It's a bit weird at times having a korean song and an english song stuck in your head at the same time.But,it somehow in a weird way work for me.hahahahahaha.

Finished watching a couple of awesome drama that I love and if you have time and trust my taste watch these:
A Gentlemen's Dignity, King2Hearts,Rooftop Prince,Queen In Hyun's Man (romantic gila that will not probably happen in real life),Ghost ( theme of the drama:kan-chiong ness!!!) , Rich Man Poor Woman (japanese drama-watching it cos Shun Oguri's in it =ppp) ,waiting for more eps of To The Beautiful You.and some more new awesome drama that will be airing.

that's it for now.
-lots of love and peace out-