The 366th day.

It's 12am now and it's 31st December 2012 !!! Gosh,I feel time flies exceptionally fast this time.It feels only yesterday where it was like August and wosh! it's the last day of December already.

I would have to say the first half of the year was one of the most stressful time for me.Facing my 2nd year exam was seriously no joke.Learned a lesson (a regret that happens every year.hahaha) of the need to be more hardworking (always!) The exam was so stressful that I think I lost 3 kg and only realized it after my exams and all.Why i think this is so is because I didnt exercise and what not that much.=((((( Actually the first half of the year pass by so fast that made me go,huh.all this happened this year? damn...i forgot it did.Hahahaa.

Did not go to as many concerts as I did last year.But went to a really,really AWESOME one.Yes,you guys know it without me saying it right? BIG BANG ALIVE TOUR MALAYSIA 2012!!!!!! It's a concert that I've been dreaming of  for a VERY VERY LONG TIME!!! This might not be believable but the memory of the concert scenes and all are still very much fresh in my mind.

Also,visited my dream country (whom I actually hope if I really could,to live and work there for a short period of time ) as you would have seen me blog in my previous post.

This year,it's a year where I turned 21,got a lot of surprises which I am really thankful of.It made me cry when I'm in my room at the end of the day,replaying all that have happen! I learn over the years to not only look at the outcome of something but also to realize and appreciate the effort that has been put in in order to make something a success.

It also made me realized that I have really really  crazy awesome friends whom I can't thank enough.It made me feel really blessed and even more appreciative.From the bottom of my heart,thank you so so so so so much for being there for me.And I will try to be a better friend.

I've also been obsessed with bracelets that I decided to learn how to make simple ones myself.For those who follow me in twitter/instagram (yes.I am now on instagram also!! hehehehe) would be able to see my hasil kerja XD

Music and drama wise,has never been more awesome.New discoveries of new artists and songs are just pure l.o.v.e.Finding someone who have the same love for them is super awesome ! as it is usualyl hard to find someone who does.a scene that reminds me of this is in the movie 'perks of being a wallflower' of emma watson and ezra miller.Hahahaa.I dont know why,but it just is.This year has wayyyyyy lots of awesome korean drama(Rooftop Prince,King2Hearts,The Moon Embraces the Sun,I Miss You,-just to name a few) and also big bang theory,grey's and HIMYM always never disappoint.There's also many good movies this year,be it in any language.

Overall,this year has thought me that a person is always surrounded by change.It depends on oneself on whether one would want to change,be it good or bad.It made me realize that I need to be stronger and want to constantly improve myself for the better,mentally and physically.It made me appreciate all the little things in life.It made me realize that whenever you think you got it bad,there's wayyy more worse thing happening to other people that your problem is just a dot compared to others.It made me try to not self-pity myself for it's a very sad/pathetic thing at times.To get over it and just do it if you have the ability to do it,then do it!!

All in all,to quote Paulo Coelho who tweeted this today : ''Never regret anything that made you smile in 2012'' It's up to you to interpret this quote.For me,it's not just the literal meaning of smile,it's smiling sarcastically,evilly,sadly,happily,everything that I've gone through good and bad.

It will be a dawn of another new year come 1st January 2013.May everyone have a good year ahead of you.Am looking forward to it!! Lastly,I can't finish this post without saying this.I know this may be one of the most over-used phrase this year,especially towards the end of the year but,I can't help it, I SURVIVED 2012 people!!!!!!!!!! Mmmuhahahahaahahahahaaaaa..

p/s: just realized that this is my 200th post!!!!! Gahhh.such coincidence.:DDDD

till then,see y'all next year,with lots of love,peace out-

Stay cool

''You think you're weird (?) i think i'm weird..we are all weird in our own ways. '' I feel i have weird taste in music and other things in general at times.As in,not really a lot of people i know shares the same ones with me.
These words just came to my mind the other day where I just remembered I once said this to a friend of mine where we were chatting over in MSN.I think it was like 2 years ago.Hahhahaa.

Forever on my mind.

Hello.I've been neglecting the space here,what with my very active role in twitter and minimal ones in fb.And I am on instagram now too.Hehehee.

Life is normal as usual.It's the year end break before 2013.Am a bit stressed up for this hols as I know that I need to study as much as can.For come next year,things will move on quickly.Advanced timetable is out.Exams starts way early next year.May 7th-May 29th.There a good gap between all my 4 papers.So'I'm happy with the schedule this time around.

Parents are currently in Singapore and sis will be going to Thailand tomorrow.Skipped class today as I was too lazy to travel and coming back by myself either by walking or taking the taxi.And it's only been like 2 days but I'm bored.Only now that I realised that there's a diffrence between spending time alone at home where you know there's people there with you,only that you're just locking yourself in the room and there is really NO ONE at home.You literally having the house to yourself for 3-4 days.I just feel bored.Like I have no one to talk to.

My dog has also gone for his 1 week long or so holiday.Have not seen him for over a week.Saw him and his gf nearby my taman when I went out to dinner a few days back.And he just walked past us without recognizing us till my dad called him.He just suddenly stop,and looked and us and went,ohhhh.you guys were here? and started to come towards us! I went ''hmhpphhh,how can you not recognize us' *cries*

But I'm gonna meet my friend,Joey tomorrow for lunch and Ms.Lee is coming on Sat !!! Yayyyyy.I just have this feeling like I've not talk to people for a long time.Gahhhhh.

Short update

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living. +Anais Nin

I like the quote above a lot.was browsing through some blogs where I stumbled upon that.You guys must have think I have a lot of free time,always browsing and discovering new blogs.I dont really.When I'm on study break time at home,I read blogs.Am a bit lazy of watching dramas at times.I like to multi task.And hence,the usual routine is reading blogs and hearing songs.Hhehehehe.

I have 2 important update which I have not gushed about here.My Big Bang concert and Korea trip.Shall update them soon (by end of this month)!!

How's life so far? Loving my new hair cut.Ms.Lee made me a shoe as past of her holiday project.I am soo touched and LOVE it!! Which reminds me,am gonna do a bracelet for my friend's birthday.Am searching for the perfect charm for it. I bought 2 rings from Korea and am indecisive as to turning them into a charm for my necklace,wearing them as rings (i dont usually wear rings-not really a ring person) or turning it into a charm for a bracelet.Gahhhhhh.

Am catching up in my studies and trying to utilize my free time as beneficial as possible.I keep reminding myself everytime I feel like postponing revising that I dont want to regret like how I did last year and after hearing on how well others did,I feel ashamed and to be honest,tak syok.So,I am gonna give it my all to try and get a 2.1 honours and make myself and my family proud!!!


2ne1 cancelled their New Evolution concert in Malaysia and Indonesia.I am heart broken.Was about to decide to go for the concert alone ( I couldn't find a partner in crime to go with me T.T) and and feel missing this concert,I'm gonna regret big time.And I really like CL's solo stage in the concert.To see it like is crazy awesome!!! Am in dilemma now on whether  I should go to FMFA where Rita Ora,Temper Trap,FUN and PSY are among the few artists coming,which I wanna see.Bad thing,maybe going alone.(Well I do have a friend who is going,only thing is I'm not really close to him).Sis remark was''You're that desperate to go,till you sanggup to go with someone you're not that close?'' And she asked me to choose between this festival and Lee Hom ( who will be coming in March for a 2 day concert at Genting-where sis lans to buy a mahal punya tic to see him really closeeeee this time). *SIGH* how?!!!!!! Can someone give me some opinion? *criessssssss* I have seen Lee Hom for a few times now.Being able to see Rita Ora and the Temper Trap live is something I never dream on really.It's a rare opportunity really.How??!!!!! T.T

Music department on current love: Primary,Zion.T,Lee Hi,Epik High-Kill This Love, Calvin Harris ft.Ellie Goulding-I need your Love,Calvin Harris ft.Ayah Marar-Thinking About You.Am also looking forward to Rihanna's new album =))

Have not been to the cinemas for what feels like years.The last time was in August? or Sept I think? *gasps* yes.And hence I usually just dl the movies that I wanna watch years later.Hahahahahaa.

Special shout out to my bestie on the other side of the world.I love surprises and she never fails to give me one always.You know who you are.Miss you lots.Didnt know she still reads my blog here as she leads a crazy busy life there.Love you lots and take care there.XOXOXXOOXXOXOXO

The other bestie is now in Aussie.3 weeks of not hanging out =(((( She's my only partner in crime for shopping or eating good food.Which while I was going out to meet her last weekend my parents remark was: ''Your one and only friend'' =.= because I usually just hang out with her.Hahahaha.I cannot imagine if she goes to Aussie for a year to further her studies.I'm sooo not gonna have anyone.*cries* hahahahahaa.Anyways,enjoy your trip there.Shall await for your return!!! <3 p="p">


-with lots of love,peace out-

I care,therefore I am.... an idiot (?) , I dont know

In no way am I trying to brag or portray myself as someone who have it all or is like living the 'it' life or whatsoever.I have moments where my self-esteem about my appearance is like super super low.As many of you guys may have notice in my older posts.But I try not to portray it outside so much for I hate being vulnerable.I am an optimist.Hence,I always try to look at the brighter side of things.

What I don't get about some people is that,they know what trouble they have in trying to live a new and improved life.( I think they know it consciously since they are like able to talk about it?) It's the all talk and no action that pisses me off a bit.I'm a bit of an impatient and impulsive person.And I have this concept of if you want it and have the ability to go get it,do it.If you just sit around and wait or moan about it,nothings gonna happen and at the end of the day it will be you who will be filled with regret.Let me tell you,that is the last thing you wanna feel.it sucks big time.Why? Because you can't turn back time.So once its gone,it's gone.

If you want something and you know it requires you to change,or it's something outside your comfort zone,well if its for the good,why not just try it ? Everything comes with a price.Some things requires more sacrifice.At the end of the day,you may or may not be able to realize that sometimes it's worth it.

I dont know if it's me watching too much shows,or studying too much or something but taking things with an open mind and reminding oneself to look at things from both sides,the good and back of it helps a lot.Yes,it could lead to contradiction or indecisiveness.Try not to get drown in it.Try to come up with the best solution possible.It's not easy and you may not always come to a solution.But it's a good learning process in my opinion.

It's a simple thing really.I don't really like complication nor confrontations in my life.I usually try to look at things as simple as possible.And hence,some maybe of the opinion that I lead a simple,happy life without any worries or stress or whatsoever.Its far from it at times.I just usually choose not to display it on the outside and prefer writing it down,like in this blog or tweet about it.I dont like / am not good at expressing it out verbally at times.Plus,I do prefer to keep things towards myself at times,first trying to figure out a solution.

Gahhh.I dont know.I was fueled with annoyance to write this post.A voice within me is telling me I care too much and I dont know why. Is it even considered as care? or am I just a busybody? =((((

Ok.I dont wanna give a shit somemore.Tired of it...It's a wadte of my energy.I repeat and vow that I dont wanna give a shit about it anymore.

with lots of love (?),peace out-

Thoughts.

This thought just came into my week last week, 'Ahhh, Fakeness. Perhaps everyone has a certain level of it? It depends on how you present yourself to people / the world and how people interpret it.

I guess at times,I do fake it too.Some for courtesy purposes.I guess I'm too nice or unable to bring myself to show that I actually have a great dislike for that person? Now though,I try to stay away from the person I dislike as far as possible.It's better and healthier in my opinion.

I've written in one of the posts here before that it takes time for me to warm up to people.I'm generally perceived as a quiet person if you don't know me well.For e.g: if I do know you,but we're not close,or like have ever really spoke to each other,chances are I won't really say 'hi' to you when I meet you? maybe a slight smile.that's all.I think it's a bit of an ego/pride issue here? Like just in case I say 'hi' to you and you don't respond to it.Ohh.the embarassment.Also,I am afraid that you don't recognise/ actually know who I am.Hahahahaha.

I wonder at times,do I come on as arrogant due to my kinda 'cold' personality if you may.I get that a lot when I was in primary school.I do admit I was a miss-know-it-all.It's just that if I know something where I am 100% sure of that I'm right,I'll tell you straight on that,''this is it.that's the answer.I'm absolutely confident of it''And I guess the confidence came out as arrogance and that people actually hate me for it.After that,being humble and over the years,I prefer to just keep a low profile now.

Or people think that I'm fierce or just a plain nerd whom does not know anything other than reading/studying.

I hate being used.(who does right?) And I know how it feels.Experienced some directly and that feeling sucks.Hence,I tired not giving people that vibe.How does one define 'using somebody' ? Having thought about it,I realised it's a bit hard to come up with an answer.I feel (feel free to disagree with me) that we do use people everyday.It's just not over the extend of too much,you know what I mean? I'm not then implying that using someone is hence good, it's just don't use someone purely for your own advantage and when they're of no use to you,just drop them like a hot potato.I don't know about you,but my conscience does not feel right doing these kinda things.

I think too much don't I? It's not like I always have too much free time,just that from some daily encounters,people watching at train stations got me thinking.I write these thoughts down in a way as a reminder to me to practice what I preach (?) and I take it as something to change/improve myself for the better.
 p/s:stay strong mei quin!!!!! am always here supporting you!
-till then,with lots of love,peace out-

Happened // Happening Soon

Hello October.Time flies again.A lot of happenings had happened or will soon be happening! First off, a Birthday Shoutout to Phui Gi --Happy 21st!!!!!! It's not everyday you come to the day where you are regarded generally as an officially,(legally,and traditionally (?)) as an adult. =))

The King of Gold Bells is back to UK.Ahhh,the short moments where we attended classes together are fun and definitely to be missed ! *cries* All the best there,and I am bad at keeping in touch at times,but that does not mean that I don't care.*angel halo above the head* hehehehehe.

H&M have finally reached Malaysia.I was so excited to go for shopping.But the place was just so crowded that you lose the sense of excitement.I have to confess here also that I was a super kedekut shopper.Like I would really think twice,ok,more like a million times over before I buy stuff at first.I am worried that I'll regret it later on,or like it's not worth the money.I also weigh in the practicality of the items.Hence,I could go shopping the whole day and ended up not buying a single thing and then going home regretting at times.Gahhhhhhh.Also,tyhe stuffs that I came to feel in love with at times,is a bit pricey.Like a rm 150 or so flats from Topshop and a bag from Muji which is like rm 280 *le sigh* See,if I were to purchase these all in one day,of the burning smell in my wallet is sooo strong.But,I know,I know,I spend more willingly on concerts.Don't ask me why.I can't give a justified answer to this.COme to think of it,clothes,and shoes and  bags do last longer than concert.T.T Oh well.Ohh.I am also hunting for sneakers.Have yet to find a really really really nice one that I like.My Nike of 3 years ++ (the first sneakers I bought with my own money) is not really in its best condition.It's almost time to say goodbye.

I am tempted to buy a high top sneakers.Am targeting either from Adidas or Converse ( a red one.heh heh) but am in doubt one how often I would use them and feel I need a normal one also.Gahhh.See what I mean in me being a kedekut/shopper that thinks too much ?!! *cries*

Ok.I shall stop about my wants on shopping.I have chosen my subjects for the final hurdle.Jurisprudence and Company Law is both compulsory officially and unofficially.So that leaves me with 2.I find Succession interesting in its own way.So am torn in between Conflict and Intellectual Property ( IP ) .For I find both are interesting also.Final decision is: *drum rolls* Juris,Company,Succession and IP.I hope I made the right choice (i dont wanna ponder about this already) and God bless my friends and I all for our exams.

I'm still have not come up with a final decision/plan for Big Bang concert/Korea trip thing.Like how am I suppose to meet my sis and all that stuff.One thing for sure is that I think I might be attending both events.You know I don't like things to go to spontaneous or planned at last minute at times.But have not succeeded to have a ''serious'' talk about this with my sis =.=''''' And I am in a way,planning the itinerary for the Korea trip.The accommodation has been settle.Gahhh.sedikit stress on planning cos if its not enjoyable and stuff, it's gonna ruin the trip. So , fingers crossed on this.

Am excited to see Big Bang.It's like a dream finally coming true.Am of course a bit bummed that  I will not see the entire concert.But it's better than not seeing at all and  I hope (*prays*) I get to see them another time.Am also waiting for confirmation of 2ne1 having concert here a well. See there goes all my money.Hahaha.But I do hope I get to see them for I love them a lot.=))))

ok.enough rambling.this is a long post i think for I tend to just write and ramble on and on at times without realising how long the  post is gonna be.I think I talk/dramatized too much at times.Gahhh.it's a hard to change habit of mine i guess.

-till then,lots of  love,peace out-

Captured moments

New drink decoration by Ms.Sweet

''Innocently'' drinking alcoholic drinks with an out of this world cups.hahaha

using out of this world spoons.

eating maggi later.

Eating fest continues the next morning .

End product:Lasagne 

Some overdue pics from my phone of the last few hours of ms.sweet,ms.lee and I hanging out before she flies back to Scotland.Time passed by so freaking fast.Didnt take enough pics really.It's a combo of we forgot about it and us not being enough of a camera whore.Hahahahaha.But those uncaptured moments will still remain fresh in my (our) minds.( i hope) =))

-with lots of love,peace out-

Choices.Decisions.Let's Do This

It's finally started.I was calculating how long I have been commuting by the ktm to college.It's been 3years.Even my brain salutes myself for being to endure it.Time flies so fast.I see myself grow fatter,thinner,self-confidence being low from time to time about my face,the way I dress and the stuffs that I like and the way I look at things.

This it it.I can't believe I have reach the stage where I'm in my final year.Regrets about not working hard always happens after you got your results.But I know that I have no one else to blame but myself.Having not expecting to get high grades before the results are out helps a lot (for me) but then when you start hearing how well your peers do,the competitive/kiasu side of me gets the feeling of 'tak mahu kalah'.I used to try and not compare myself so much with others at times,but I'm only human and I can't help it.Not only in terms of grades,but in other stuffs as well.And then a voice inside of me tells me that I shouldn't that we're all different.

I dont want have to feel what regret and 'what ifs' again this time around.I can do this.I can endure this.I have the mental capacity and energy (hopefully enough of them) to do this.I am a believer of the words,'If you want something and have the ability to do it then go get it'.However,to want something at times requires sacrifice.You can't see it at times,it maybe in another form.It makes sense though as one can't have everything and not give up something in return.It wouldn't be fair if it is.I.can.do.this.

Classes have start.I'm in conflict as to which subject I want to take.Some said this is hard,that is easier,and then you hear opposite opinions on that.Lecturers is another influencing factor to me also.Hopefully by end of this week I can come up with a conclusive opinion.CJA fighting!!!

-with lots of love,peace out-

I guess its human nature

I dont know about you,but have you have moments where you get something you wished/hoped for,you then go on and want to have something more? To put it in another way,there is a certain amount of greed in all of us.It's just how consumed in it are we to really commit one of this 7 sins.

I have over the years not try to really compare myself in terms of grades specifically here to others.I hate it back then where my parents compare me and my high school friends.In college,they still do.I dont know if its cause they're teachers or something,but its irritating and hurtful for them to benchmark you against others at times.'You did good,but others was better-why are you not then?'

I have only tried not to think about others so much towards the end of my high school life.In college,I realised that there will always be people who are smarter than you,prettier and at times makes you feel that overall,that person is just better than you.At times where I am at my lowest,to describe myself in one word  (wholly not just on face value basis) would be me feeling ugly.Also,why am I not good enough?Yes.yes.moments of insecurities and low self-esteem.

Then I'll go why am i not good enough and all that drama and self-pitying and shit.At the end of the day though,if I want to life a life with that kinda thinking then i guess i would just not be happy being me.So,sometimes I do care how people perceive me.the words of a person telling me that i'm a goody two-shoes still rings in my head from time to time.And no,i did not take that as a compliment.I try not not give a shit much on what people think of me at times.You just can't please everyone.

Yea.I did a lot of waiting on Monday where I was waiting for the train and sorting my touch n go stuff at sentral.And so this thought s just came up and I stored it in my mind to blog about it,.Still working on how to further improve/change myself for the better,though its not easy I know.

My concept now is to give it all I've got,and if you have the ability to get/achieve it,go get it so that you wont live with regrets for you can't turn back time no matter how badly you wish for it at times.

Other than these kinda emo moments though,I am generally a happy,optimistic and simple,blur looking person.Who at times, my sister put it,only 'walks straight' and dont know how to look left or right at times =.=

-with lots of love,peace out-

Birthday Shout out to Ms.King Gold Bell

Many happy returns again! (i think that is my current fav. birthday wish to people in general) hahahhaha.Had a good time today.Hope you do too.Had not really been hanging out a lot but every now and then punya hang out is truly an awesome and memorable one <3 p="p">
-with lots of love,happy birthday kim!-

I'm not the tidiest person out there.I admit that i can be soooo super lazy at times.But when I clean up my room,etc.I really do them.And who likes seeing it being messed up right? It pisses me off really.I'm no neat freak.But like after eating and all,dont just chuck everything and leave it for me to clear up just because I'm currently having holiday and am very free.I dont see you doing that to me.

And the most irritating part at times is then being blamed for cleaning the room,lazy,blah,blah blah.Why is it that only one side of it is being seen? Yes.call me selfish or calculative or whatever .When I speak these out loud,I'm being called as of the above selfish and calculative.So,do you expect me to do everything? You have your own hands and legs.It's not that you're super incapable.Then the reason of being in an accident last time,and so cannot do heavy housework or stressful environment all week is tiring and so you should help out come up.

But then,when you're angry,you say i dont know how to do the housework and all.Seriously.How can I not be pissed off? You're preaching to someone who does it for siblings MOST of the time? The make the place dirty and all and then go back to KL,I'll have to clean it. And the reason of being the youngest,your siblings have been doing it  for years come up.So,does this mean that they dont have to do it for the rest of their lives now since I have to 'gain the experience' now? Sorry,I dont see any logic in it. It's not that I am not willing to do it,it's just that sometimes I'm fed up.I am no saint and have a certain level of patience ok..and I'm tired of arguing about this and just prefer to not retort back.I however need to let this all out somewhere.And it helps by writing all these down.

-peace put-

I'll remember

I've been posting this annually for 4 years already,including this year.R.I.P Lee Eon.
Till today I am still not bored of Coffee Prince.And everytime i re-watch the drama,I can't believe that you're no longer on Earth.

-with lots of love-

V.I.P

Being the failed fan that I am,I was supposed to post this on the 18th of August,but I forgot.Happy Birthday to the one and only Kwon Ji Young.He is the person whom I have a million times dengan muka tebalnya refer to as my husband =p And I know he may not be the most good looking guy out there and at times may have a weird taste in fashion and hairstyle( cant help but admit this) I still *please prepare to vomit for the ultimate corny-ness* I still LOVE him. And also,Happy 6th Anniversary to Big Bang.Can't believe its already 6 years that I've been obsessed with them.=ppp I dont think I need t further explain how much I love them though for I think most people know how crazy I am over them.hahahahaha

p/s: Can't wait for the 25th!! G.D.'s mv gonna be out.Can't wait even more for his solo album!!!!

with lots of love,peace out

Birthday Shoutout to my sis.Happy 27th.=)

Part 3

As some of you may have known,after my exam I was all happy and relaxed and then the dreaded moment came when I got to know that my exam results will be released on 16th of August.And I told myself to NOT think about it till the Olympics ended.Why? because after it ended,it will be like 3 days more to the 16th.And I think almost 72 hours of nervousness and all would be more than enough.

And that 3 days passed by so fast,thanks to me distracting myself by cleaning and watching shows and reading.On the night of the 15th,I was experiencing temporary insanity if you may that I feel like screaming on top of my lungs to get all the nervousness and what not.

I knew the moment before exams and sitting through it that I would at best,get a 2.2 and worst failed my exam.Like for real.After the first paper which was tort,I literally went home and cried because I knew I screwed it up.I have never been this depressed and down about an exam since I was 13.Partly of the reason is I know myself pretty well about exams.It's either I know that I'm gonna be ok or I just screw it up.

I have been in one way or another been preparing for the worst and not have much of a high expectation for it always leads to great disappointment at times.16th came and my hands got cold and shaky,heart was beating madly and the mind was clueless on how to position itself.Make matters worse,at the last minute I couldn't find my student number.

When I saw my results,the first thing the eye focused on was not the marks but whether passed or not.And I literally cried when I saw I did.It was tears of relief and thankfulness.Year 2 is no joke.It was so so so much more harder than year 1.UOL as expected always surprises me.The subject that I thought I did well,I did not fare that well.Vice versa.I was very close to failing actually as I cukup-cukup got 40 for my Land Law.(*in no way that I'm a genius* but I thought I would do better in it.) and for those who are curious,I got a 2.2 overall for now.Shall work hard to graduate with a 2.1 or hopefully a 1st class.Its gonna be hard like hell but as they say,always aim for the stars.or is the moon? Eitherway,I'm gonna try my best for it!!

It was so surreal that I checked at my results for like 3 times to be sure.I would like to thank my lecturers,my family,my friends and my brain cells  for being there for me,encouraging me,making me feel guilty,entertaining me,teaching me,being patient with me at times where I could be bitchy or a total drama queen what not.thank you so much.I am truly thankful and blessed to have you all.

I am really bad at comforting people and really showing much affection (?) or emotion (?) openly.But I believe that everything happens for a reason.Happy,Sad,Good or Bad.And this may sound weird for you,but if at times,have you got the feeling where if everything you have ever dream off come true and you're so happy that it scares you? I have and somewhere at the back of my mind would suddenly say,this is just too real that it cannot be right.There must be something bad that will be happening.Yeah.I don't know what had lead me to think this way.Maybe it's because I have experience at times that to have everything you want/wish you want,there must certainly be a sacrificial value equivalent to it.Only then that it would be fair.That is how I see things at times.Life is not just a bed full of roses.

But (of course there's always a but) that doesnt mean that that the end.One should always find a solution to it,take things positively and to never give up.Everything happens for a reason and one should always stay strong!!

forgive me if the flow of this post is going in all direction,the thoughts are getting a bit muddled here.=.=

p/s: 59.60.51.40.What's this? A reminder for myself and something for you to figure out? hahahahaha.

-with lots of live,peace out-

Part 2

Dear beloved blog,I feel so sorry and ashamed as I just realised that there was only 1 post for the entire month of July.Epic,epic failure I know.I shall not be excuses and try to update as frequently and write as entertaining (perhaps) as possible.

I stumbled into a blog a few days bag.It's called leloveimage.It's kinda a unique blog as posts stories of people (like us) about their love story.Happy,sad,angry,sweet,one-sided,all the many sides of a relationship.And some of it were really good.As they wrote the story really good.I have a couple of blogs whom I have bookmarked in my computer that you could kinda say my daily reads (if they update'em).And I love some of it for their writing skills.

Whenever I read their posts I find myself asking myself,they write so so well.Why can't be at least half as funny or half as witty as them? The times where you find someone or a book or a blog that has the same brainwave of humor or logic or style of writing with you is just awesome for me,for its not easy to  share the same humor/opinion,etc with someone at times.

I dont really read back what I wrote here at times,but sometimes,just to reminisce over past events,I could see the difference in my style of writing and my thoughts on things.I guess maturity and exposure to different people and environment has help me grow and change to (hopefully) a better individual?

Of course the words spoken by my lecturer who shall not be named here that 'Generally it is very hard for a person to change' plays at the back of my head from time to time.I feel people do change,just not drastically or not wholly.Maybe only in certain expect depending on a person's character.

I've been spending sometime reading lately.Nope.Dont freak out.It's not study related.Being a nerd that I am,I love reading story books.(a culture my parents has encouraged me from young starting with Enid Blighton) Chick lits most of the time. I bought this book last year by Haruki Murakami called Birthday Stories.Reason: I was drawn to the title of the books.It contains a compilation of stories with the theme of birthdays.A variety of different takes of it.Some of the stories are nice,but there are some,which is a bit too deep for me I guess as I dont understand what I just read after finishing it.The ending is somewhat open ended,or maybe it's just me,not reading through the lines perhaps that got me thinking '' What? this is the end? so what happen in conclusion? like what? '' I think I'm gonna read it over again.not now perhaps.but a few later,just so I could test myself again.hahahahaa.

Am re-reading Marian Keyes books now.Starting from Watermelon.I love the way she writes.The stories are funny to me,but I dont think it applies to everyone,as my sis dont find it as amusing as I do.So.it's purely subjective.

Ok.Got one chunk of things I plan to write out.stay tuned for part 3 I guess? hahaahha.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Part 1

It's been like a decade again since I'm here.Part of me dont feel like updating much as I pretty much carry out the same routine daily and post after post about it would just bore you to death wouldn't it? I know I will.Hahaha.but a lot of things have been in my mind now that I feel the need to just pour everything out now.But there's quite a ton of random bits and pieces here and there that I decided to seperate it a bit.Let's start with the current music addiction.Its been sometime that there's a long list.And I realise that I cant really remember some songs title that I like at times,and me blog here provide the best storage of it =DDDDDD

Here it is:
Emeli Sande-Read All About it (part 3),My kind of Love
Tinie Tempah ft Emeli Sande-Let Go
Passion Pit-Cry Like a Ghost,Constant Conversations.
Robortom ft.Au Revoir Simone-Paganini Rocks (found it when i was watching taeyang's reality show-real sound ! how awesome is that?? )
Example-Kickstarts
J-Min-Stand Up
Phantom's new album
Teen Top-Falling in Love/whereas , party tonight.
BoA-the shadow
Beast-the day you rest,beautiful night.
Still addicted to 2ne1's I love You and Verbal Jint ft.Sanchez-You Deserve Better.

I guess that more of less it.It's a bit weird at times having a korean song and an english song stuck in your head at the same time.But,it somehow in a weird way work for me.hahahahahaha.

Finished watching a couple of awesome drama that I love and if you have time and trust my taste watch these:
A Gentlemen's Dignity, King2Hearts,Rooftop Prince,Queen In Hyun's Man (romantic gila that will not probably happen in real life),Ghost ( theme of the drama:kan-chiong ness!!!) , Rich Man Poor Woman (japanese drama-watching it cos Shun Oguri's in it =ppp) ,waiting for more eps of To The Beautiful You.and some more new awesome drama that will be airing.

that's it for now.
-lots of love and peace out-

A summary of what had happened after the previous post. Celebrated See Wei's 21.Was an accomplice with her friend Tennii for her surprise.It was very funny.Went to Genting to celebrate her birthday on the 9th of July.Of the friend Chester never fails to make me laugh like a mad woman.I am almost always speechless at the stuff he says.Went to the casino,where the security said to see wei  after looking at her IC 'Wahhh.pandai ahh'' and the other one said: ''Good luck'' This amuses me a lot.hahahaha.

Continued with my driving lessons.Had a little OMG moments where cars pop up suddenly to almost cause an accident by makan-ing my jalan, and me almost crashing into my house gate the other day for tekan-ing too much minyak at once,all this giving my father little heart attacks.hahahaha.A proud moment though was I inadvertently drove me dad to the pasar malam the other day.Why inadvertently? that's cause it was along the way while I was practicing driving when me dad suddenly said ''Ok.stop in front there,I wanna go pasar malam for a while'' to which I obediently did and waited in the car,singing to the songs on the radio and muttering '' STRESS'' to myself whenever there is a probability that a car maybe parked in front or behind me,making it hard for me to drive back home later..

Also,freaking out,making strategic plans as if I was a general in charge of a war for the purchase of Big Bang's concert in Malaysia.Ohhh,the dilemma of choosing which ticket to buy and the fear of not getting good seats is no joke for a concert junkie like me,whose no.1 concert that I want/wish to attend before I die or to put it short,is in my Concert Dreamlist (or the other way around) is *drumrolls* Big Bang..=DD

That's more or less it.Ohhh.also the continuation of making bracelets from time to time.hheehehe.

p/s: Congratulations to all my friends who has graduated law school.It got me thinking,WOAHHHH.SO FASTTT.hahahaha.Am happy and proud of you guys.=)) Also enjoyed looking at pics of all the trips arpund Europe.Gosh,I hope I have the chance to visit them one day too!

-with lots of love,peace out-

Mich =)

Dedicating this post to one of my bestie. HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY MICH!!!!!!!!!!!! May all your wishes come true and all the best for everything when you're in UK.Have an awesome celebration on your born day ( I know you already had an AWESOME pre-celebration with the person typing/dedicating this post to you right? *winks* hahahahahaha)  =)


-with lots of love,happy birthday again.xoxoxoxoxox-

On my mind.

Over the years,I have made a lot of friends.My friend asked my this question the other day : '' Do you realise that as you grow older,Somehow your circle of friends gets smaller?'' I did a quick calculation and memory refreshing in my mind and I said '' Yea.It does.'' And somehow,I don't feel left out or an anti-person people or see anything bad in this.

When I think of my circle of friends,I feel thankful of having to meet and get to know them at various points in my life.I would often wonder from time to time,what would my life be like if I hadn't met them.Like for example,I chose a different route in life,would I still by chance be able to get to know them?

I believe every person have different shades of personality within them ( not fake ones) and hence resulting in   meeting and having different group of friends.Each of my friends are completely different from the other.and also from me.But we just clicked somehow.hahahaha.

Having a number of besties who is furthering their studies aboard,I realised that at times,I haven't been in contact with them for some time,but that in no way does not mean I have disregarded the friendship.This got me thinking when I met up with my friend whom I have grown close by us attending tuition classes from Form 1-5.We are not in contact most of them time (like literally for months) and dont even at times meet up annually.But the amazing thing is that the other day when I met up with her,the time where we dont keep in contact with each other,etc does not reflect on our friendship.It was just like old times and that we could talk and all like old times.And this too apply to my other friends.And for that at then end of the day I am just so thankful that our friendship are strong enough to not just disappear by reason of time (not keep in contact frequently,etc).

I don't mean that everything remains exactly the same.Environment factors,the new friends made,experiences and maturity all comes to play of course.And by that if a friendship still remains intact.That is just pure awesomeness and I dont know about you,but truly treasure and am very very much thankful for it.It's not always easy to find the right person who can truly click with you .Who are willing to be your go-to person.

By experiences,watching shows,reading books,I realise that we sometimes are going through life in such a rapid pace that we forget to just stop and savour the tiny little happy things in life.It doesnt need to be a big upscale event for you to snap a picture,appreciate it with your mind and to safely keep it in your brain.Simple gestures that does not seem to be a big deal at times,means a lot to me.

I have learnt that at times,rather than just focusing on the succssful-ness of a main event,it's the thought that have been put into making it a success and all the effort that has been put in is what that truly matters.Say,you want to throw a surprise birthday party that did not turn out to be how you want to be or give someone a present or anything that does not turn out what you expect or thought it would be.Rather than be disappointed or sad, Stop.Think of the effort and thoughts put into it to make it happen.Just having someone to even think or doing/making something special (for me),i feel very grateful that they took the time and energy for it.

In short I just wanna say I HAVE AWESOME FRIENDS and you know I love all of you right? hahahaha. ^3^

On another note:

Thought of writing something here before I head to bed.It's boring Sunday today.There I was just kinda boasting that I am currently enjoying my holiday,bla,bla,bla. And here I am now saying it's boring. =(( I dont know,I guess it may be due to me just staying at home not really doing anything that made me bored I guess.

Gonna be heading to KL this wed with sis cause I need to literally become her maid by helping her to punggah her stuffs back to her house and help her clean her house.=.= and what do I do after when I'm done? Go back home.*heavy sigh* Was thinking of asking some friends out at first,but I'm not sure what time will I be done with all those household chores that I think I rather not call them out.If I finish early I guess I'll just head to Sentral or Midvalle to treat myself some nice food and maybe do some shopping alone I guess.*sigh again* Oh well,since I have nothing to do and I guess in a way I get to go out,so.I shall not moan about it so much here.Shall take it as another form of exercise and lose some fats.hahahahaa.

Can't believe I'm addicted to this anime called Nura: Rise of the Yokai Clan.Was just randomly watching 1/2 episodes of it on astro the other day and it was nice that I am currently watching it online.Hahahaaha.It's been a long time since I watched anime.I think I stopped watching it last 2 years or so? I usually just re0watch the ones I like such as ouran or honey and  clover.

Am currently also catching up with my korean dramas.Just that I get a little bit bored because most of the drama these days involve the theme of time traveling.Not that it's not nice but to watch one drama after another with the same theme is a lil' bit boring at times.So,I'm currently watching 2 drama at once -Ghost ( which does not involve time traveling and is rather interesting I feel) and Queen In Hyun's man.I just remembered I have yet to watch King2Hearts.I guess that would have to wait a bit.And also Big,and Kim Sun Ah's new drama called I Do,I Do i think.Yes.that's a lot of drama right there.But I think they should be nice watching.=p

p/s: Grrr.I'm craving to eat some burgers or something.I dont know why =(((

-with lots of love and hunger-ness currently,peace out-

Just epic

Hello people.How's your holiday going if you're currently on one.Good I hope.Mine's going just fine,relaxing..or in other words just staying at home and catching up all the dramas for me.I'm not bored of this life yet.Going out all day and hanging out at times could be tiring (for me that is) I'm not the type who can usually go out every day to hang out,etc cause I will somehow feel exhausted at the end of the day at times.I think I have some low energy levels in my life going on here.hmmmm.

Here I was writing in my previous post below,saying how much I'll miss my best friend whom I currently thought is in Scotland when she actually came back way much earlier and plan a surprise for me by coming to my house at 10am the other day while was I past out in deep sleep.Mum barged into my room saying that a friend of mine is here to visit me.I was thinking to myself :'' What? I dont get a lot of visitors coming to myself to find me,and to come where you havent inform me? Who would that be?''

I dragged my half asleep body downstairs not really caring how my face nor hair or whatsoever look like (i didnt even think to brush my teeth first ! =.= ) And standing there,right in front of my eyes,was none other than my best friend. And I went ''what are you doing here?!!???!!!! why are you here?!!!!!!!'' And was then I think in a state of being half-asleep-in shock mode.And the first thing that came out of my mouth was,''Luckily I didnt mail you stuff'' I was actually just discussing with Ms.Lee to mail some stuff over to UK.And I was thinking if I had mail it,then it would have to wait until September or so.

This I can say is another event that I can add to my biggest shocker in my life list.I seriously salute my friend for coming up with surprises.I love/try making this kinda things for my other friends at times,but she is a level above me.What with a letter on my birthday and now this is way way beyond hebat.You know what I mean?!

Can't wait to hang out with her once again as I was just thinking to myself that this time last year,I was able to meet up with her and we could go eat and all.Even we didn't meet everyday,the fact that she is currently in the same country with me rather than thousand,million miles away for me is just better.That one feeling is just pure awesomeness.

I hope we could spend this holiday this time around with way more adventure than last year ;D

On the other note : Loving Big Bang's Sp.edition alive album.The release the full song for 'Alive' which I am just so loving it.And also korean ver. of Feeling.I love love love that song!! And I AM GONNA MEET THEM IN MALAYSIA FOR THEIR ALIVE TOUR CONCERT.THIS IS SO FREAKING SURREAL THAT it freaked me out that I don't wanna take it for granted and am praying constantly that there are no obstacle that would prevent me from doing so... To see them live is like my ultimate dream come true.Seriously.I never thought I really had a chance.Being a concert junkie that I am,I have this dream concert list where before I die,I hope I can at least see these people live right before my eye.And Big Bang is one of them that is on top of my list. I hope I get the chance to see 2ne1 too.They are just awesome live.
Others artist that I wanna watch live: Coldplay,Snow Patrol,Florence and the Machine,Justin Timberlake (if he ever make a music comeback and a world tour that happen to stop in malaysia-chances which will be very very low) Linkin Park,and many many more that if I continue to list here would seem to be every single fav singer of me. =.=

Can't wait for 2ne1's comeback too!! And I am currently obsessed with Florence+ The Machine.I stumbled upon her performance in British X factor and I was just blown away.Ooh,am currently loving Wonder Girls' and Teen Top new songs.Wonder Girls are slowly turning to be one of my fav. groups cause almost all the songs in their album is just awesome rather than just one or two songs.

Am currently taking up driving again.Hope all goes well with this that soon I will be able to drive by myself and no longer need to depend on people and at least I dont have to take the public transport as frequently as I do.Not that I hate taking public transport.Just that at times when I'm in Seremban,it's hard to go out by myself and there are some places in KL or whatnot that is just hard to get to with public transport.so....

OK.I'm off to bed now cause my clock now is at 4.31 am.I know.I know.Am trying to revert back my sleeping time and all during these holiday and try to be healthier and skinnier and more pretty.oh the peer  pressure (that's what I call  it.hah) and the materialistic society can be very cruel at times *korean slang* you know? urghhh.
-with lots of love for now,peace out-

Comeback =D

Time flies and I'm done with my 2nd year of law exams.How did it go? Not so well for me.I can only blame myself.So,there's nothing much to talk about it really cause deep down in me I know what I should have done,could have done.There's no turning back and I am going to just prepare myself for the worst that may come.I think no one can have a more higher expectation of me than myself.The others around me plays a factor to.But at the end of the other,it all comes to yourself.

That aside,the long awaited holidays are finally here! It's like a new found freedom for the past month before exam,I routine was attend class,go back home,study and stone,eat,sleep.That's all.I have been getting very minimal sleep for myself.Face is a disaster,body fat has increased.Time to change that during these coming months.I have been dying to go shopping,but realised that the sale season is not really on yet.Feel like going on a trip,just going somewhere.But then realised that i first need to figure out who to go with,where to go,and most importantly how to get there and go about.I shall for now,rot myself at home by doing housework,finally read the story books that I bought months ago and watch dramas! tons of them.

Am currently loving florence + the machine.Shake it out (her performance in british x-factor is just so amazing).Ahhhh.the voice.is just love.Anticipating big bang's new songs! Cant wait for 2ne1 also!!! I hope I can make it to BB's concert in Malaysia.I think everyone around me knows how much I have been saying that it will be a dream come true to see all 5 of them live and I can die a truly happy person after that.I am praying that there's no obstacle of clash of events that prevent me from seeing them.(shall not say them here specifically for I dont want to jinx it.)

I have some projects up in my mind but I shall not list them down here too cause I dont know if I can finish them or carry it out.Shall post pics of it or something if I manage to finish them ! :D

I miss my friends a LOT.Especially those dekat luar Malaysia tu.Since they are not coming back this year/have yet to come back.*cries* Ooh and also,more of my friends are leaving to UK this year.Booooo.It feels that everyone is leaving already.Time to find myself a bf.muhaahahahahahahaaha.I'm just kidding.

I weirdly like being alone at times.Doing my own things.Having the time and space to think things out.etc.etc.

ok.I'm rambling too much here.Happy holidays people.Decided I shall not think anything more about exams until the night before my results are out.

-with lots of love,peace out-

announcement----

*sweeps cobwebs* This blog shall resume actively again most probably after the 29th of May.Exams.I'm stressed.The feeling of you think you're prepared? but you don't know what's going to happen? and this year counts towards my honors with all killer subjects.just great.grrrrr. To look at it another way,I can't wait for it to finish for the holidays lying ahead of me.And I am dying to go shopping.I have yet to get myself my birthday present.boooo.

All the best to all my friends who will be/having their exams now!! For those in 2nd year,we are half way to finishing this degree! I did not know what I had for me when I signed up for this *cries* To my friends in their final year !!! You're gonna get out of this for a more harder exam ahead of you.Either doing the Bar or CLP.=P       That is an envitable fact,but for now,you're finally gonna graduate!!! Time certainly flies at the speed of light I tell you.It's both good and bad in my personal opinion.

ok.au revoir .i'm off for now.

-with lots of love,peace out-

21

 Birthdays.It's to celebrate an annual existence of yourself on Earth.I dont know why,but I love birthdays.It's my favourite event. (hence,my threshold to celebrate this event is quite high actually.hahaha)=) It's not everyday one turns 21.Did not expect to have so many surprises this year really.Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for taking the time and effort to ajak me out,figuring out gifts for me (know its not easy,hehe) and taking the energy,brain power and all to surprise me.=) These were the days that is now safely stored in my mind and heart =)

p/s: thank you also to Mr.Chan and Ms.Lee for the awesome meals =)

-with lots of love,peace out-

I'll always remember.thank you

I'm finally 21.it's so surreal.How does it feel? It's pretty much the same other than the fact now that I am an adult.Like I could do all things that were not really legal to me last time,like clubbing and stuff.Hehhehehe.

Rather than describing it as being the happiest in the world today,I think I'm the luckiest in the world to have meet such awesome friends and such loving and comical family members.Some friends whom I thought may not remember my birthday,took the effort to text me! I really appreciate it.And those who took time off from their busy schedule or some even when feeling tired and all,to celebrate with me.I really appreciate it.

Pre-celebration started with eating korean food dinner on the 1st of April.After that,I thought my parents slept already,but at 12 midnight,they came into my room with a cake and present for me.I was super shocked and prevented myself from bursting into tears.At 12 sharp also,my bro called me and sang to me the birthday song.I thought he had forgotten too! My sis was comical.I am currently using her old phone.The calender in the phone still has those important dates that she set reminder off,and at 12.00 am sharp too,it rang stating ''Sis' birthday''.I was holding on to the phone and got a shock.I was blur for a moment.Taking some time to process that it was me. >.< And then i went ''oh'' and my sis and I looked at each other and laugh and she said'' See,my phone so good.Even reminded you of your own birthday.So accurate somemore.Happy Birthdaylah then.'' Hahahahaha.

And I can't believe that I got pranked by Ms.Phui Gi.telling me she was aka T.O.P (Tan Ong Piak) dying his hair blue for me birthday and will be in brickfields.hahhaahaha.I laughed my ass off.awesomeness.hahahahahahaha.

Attended class in the morning and I seriously respect my lecturer/principal.He was not feeling well (was vomitting0he had a stomach flu i think) and still insist on carrying on the class.So dedicated.Respect.respect.Then after that,went to watch movie-Mirror Mirror which was sooo funny and ate japanese food =DDD Had a great time.Would like to again thank See Wei,for taking the effort to call everyone,Yik Yee who's always there for me and is my tour guide in times square and all (hehehe),Mich,Lee Tat,Eric,Ah J and Su Ning .

Ooh oh.Also,I have 3 other high school classmates who shares the same birthday with me! How cool is that right? I remember some friends saying that whenever its 2nd of april they'll always go broke cause they have to buy gifts for 4 people! hahahahaa.This year,being 21,all 4 of us decided to get together around next week to celebrate being alive for 21 years at the same day,month and year =DDDDD It's been a long time since I meet them too.Looking forward to it.

Am also looking forward to meet up with Ms.Lee.Ughhh.everyone's so busy at this time of the month,having exams and whatnot.Sad.Sad.

Last surprise was today when I got home,dad told me that I got a card.When I saw it,I was so shocked.It was from Ms.Sweet.She wrote a letter for me! and also created a checklist on what to do for my brithday (which some was funny and some impossible/hard to achieve).Ok.dress nicely/cutely is doable,but approach a guy whom i think is cute? come on... =(( oklah..calling someone -him/her telling him i love him/her  is doable alsolah i guess.hahahaha. I was so amused and touched and overwhelmed that I cant believe I'm saying this,that i cry.Not like until very sad lah.But really cos i appreciate it.Like the effort and thought that went to write all this stuff..haihh.brings me to tears people.

I am really thankful and happy today.Thank you so much.Words can't really describe my exact feeling really.It's a memory that have been stored safely in my brain for the rest of my life.

shall post some pics updates later as i wanna compile them all together.

-with lots of love,and really,thank you everyone,you know who you guys are,peace out-

Want!!

Some of the stuffs (not necessary of the same brand as of the pics) that I know I would be a proud owner of it.Hahahahaha Due to money constrains,shall need some time before I own all of it*sigh*.=)

-with lots of love,peace out-

Intention: Just merely to acknowledge. full stop.

Ahh,after hoping for this moment to happen for like 3 years,it did so today unexpectedly.I did not notice him at first,then I thought I saw him,but kind of dismiss the thought.And then I realized it's really him.Somehow though I got the feeling that he may have recognized my earlier but did not like say hi or call out my name or so.

At Seremban where majority of the people got down,there was like less than 10 people in the train and you were sitting in the opposite front side of me.For one second,we look at each other,but you look so cold/irritated that I did not dare to smile or show any recognition that I know you.

The awkward moment where we both got down at the same station where I actually attempted to ask if you're really you,but you got off quickly and was walking hurriedly trying not to make eye contact that I say to myself, ''ok.let's not say hi to each other than''.

Is it just me who have grown or is it just that I just realised that I am actually taller than you.To put it in a blunt way,you're short. Words from a friend who told me this during camp fire last time came to my mind : '' With his attitude like that,you deserve so much better'.He's not suitable for you.'' Hahahahaha.And I secretly agree with him again at that moment.

Dad came and I got into the car,ignoring the fact that you were in fact you.Are you afraid that I still hold a torch for you ? or are you just shy or freaked out to have met me ? Either way, I just feel it's sad that we can't even say hi to each other.Yes,we were never really close as friends in the first place,but it wouldn't kill just to say a simple 'hi' right? I mean,I'm a nice person in general really.

Rather than emo and being hurt,I just feel it's such a waste.What's wrong with just a simple hi? Well,I guess not everyone look at things the same way as I do.

Did my revision in a hospital today.Accompanied sis to do a check up.It took so long that I actually fell asleep for like 30 minutes and then woke up and resume studying.I think I must have got a lot of weird glances,but I don't care.I slept for a while in sentral (nearby star bucks there) last fri while waiting for sis.Too tired.hahahahaha. Went to collect my bag that I won.I thought the bag was big,but it was a bit smaller in size.But I'm very thankful to have won it.It's so mahal that I wouldn't buy it for myself.

It's a 3-in -1 bag =)

I take this as a pre-birthday present for myself which I got with RM 0.Which means,I intend to get myself something for my birthday.Don't know what should I get myself.Still contemplating =D

-with lots of love,peace out-

It's been a long time again.Summary of the current life (there's really not much,but here it goes) Went to Lee Hom's concert.It rained,an interesting experience with water,highness and mud.Did not took a pic of me rocking the raincoat =(( LOVING BIG BANG'S NEW ALBUM.I need not scream any louder I think.hahahaha.Discovered and loving some new/old songs: John Dahlback-Life,Avril Lavigne's songs, Taylor Swift ft.The Civil Wars-Safe and Sound, 2ne1-Scream, Lyn-Back In Time,Mad Soul Child- Breathe and also Dear..Am about to check out Shinee's new album and also BoA's new single.=D

Watched This Means Wars after what seems like decades since I've been to the cinema.The previous movie before that was New Year's Eve.(yes.I lead a kinda sad life at times). Addicted to Running Man.Finishing the Moon Embracing the Sun.Waiting patiently for The Vow movie to be out and hence another chance to stuff myself with popcorns!! *evil laughs* Got a postcard from Ms.Sweet <3 Won myself a bag which I totally forgot I entered the contest.Obsession with blogs,daydreaming about shoes,bags and what not also continues where I have the time.

The stress and fear for exams takes up my daily thoughts/energy and what not.As a result-I tend to crave for all fat,junk not the healthiest food out there.Face/skin complexion is a horror story.Short term memory loss from time to time occurs.And  also moments being moody/impatient/heartless/emo occurs. 

That's more or less it.How's your life doing people? Good I hope.=)

p/s: The weather is killing me these days.not to mention also the ktm.

-with lots of love,peace out-

If it's meant to be,

Gahhh,it's like 2 and a half months more to exam.Status: Freaking out and the non-stop feeling of stress.Therapy of it:Putting on nail polishes,craving and eating fat foods,lots and lots of music and a little dose of english and korean drama during the weekends.

At times,just to take my mind from thinking about my daily stress and stuff,I find myself thinking/forming some thoughts on some other things in life.I was watching Grey's Anatomy (an avid fan !) and on one of its episode in Season 8,the theme of the episode was a take on What Ifs.What if I choose this route,what would the outcome be like,what if that something didn't happen,what would happen? and watching that episode,some of the outcome was unexpected and funny.But,as I was watching some of it just didn't feel right you know.Maybe it's because for 8 seasons,I was happy with how some things were and like thought that it was just right for it to be like that.

Thoughts of what ifs..Of course I thought about it.What if I decided to study something else? what if I decided to join college at a later intake? What if I decided to like change and become a total opposite of myself just maybe fit in or join people I think was cool in college or like to just follow the trend of smoking,going clubbing ever so frequently and getting drunk and whatnot?

The ending of that episode of Grey's is that,if the route that you have chosen back in time was different from it was now,one way or another,if what is meant to be will be.If you are destined to get to know a person,be firm friends with them or whatsoever,even if you have taken a different path at times,if you're destined in your lifetime to get to know them,one way or another,you'll get to that point in your life.It may take a different path/time to reach there,but at the end of the day,the final the outcome will still be somewhat the same.

I am a believer of that too.And I just love that episode.I find myself thinking a few years back too,like what would my life be if i had not met my college friends?what if zi stop trying to maintain my friendship with my high school close friends? I'm very thankful to have come to know an awesome bunch of friends.Being in college,in a new environment and all is like starting school all over again..Leaning new stuff,meeting new people,etc.Only thing is,it's a much more scary and I may say a bit cruel..Like if you don't meet the right friends,you're life would be different.Yes.you may find at times that hey,trying this and that is something new and it's actually fun.Why have I not do something like this before.But,I feel it;s important to stay grounded to a certain extent at times.Change and adapt is all good but to go to the extent to become someone where at the end of the day,you find yourself being in actual fact all alone.Is it the real meaning of  happiness or something that you want?

I feel that everyone has many different layers of personality and you display them differently depending on the group that you're in,hence resulting you getting to mix a wide variety group of friends,if you're usually of the neutral type of person.It depends really. Hmm,one would think,does that makes you fake since you're acting differently with different people? I'm of the personal opinion,that it's not really fake.It depends on how you look at things lah.This is merely my outlook lah.

I'm pretty much a quiet person at times.(gasp.! shocked??!! ) hahahaha.in the sense that it takes me time to warm up to someonelah.I don't really talk much if I don't really know you.This is for real.BUT,when I discover that you and I share something which I love,for example,korean stuff.Hahahaha.You'll see my eyes shining suddenly and there goes my mouth.Not only thatlah,I mean if I get to know you further and we can like get along,then you'll slowly realise that umm,I love gossips (muahahaha.who doesn't?) am very blurrr at times,impulsive,am a cool nerd.=p not what I am of your first impression when you meet me perhaps? unless like you meet me at times when I tengah ber 38-ing with my friends.(habis ruin my image) hahahahaha.

So yea,I'm really thankful to be able to meet many awesome people in my life.Forgive me if I have ever pissed you off in any way intentionally or unintentionally.Everyone is not perfect nor a saint.Nor can one ever please everyone in the world.

-with lots of  love,peace out-

How's everyone's life lately? Mine's pretty much the same other than the fact of some stuff cropping up here and there(out of the unusual/unexpected) and of course,my ever growing discovery of new songs.current addiction are : Cassie-King Of Hearts,Chris Brown-Turn up the music,snow patrol-called out in the dark and Big Bang..Am patiently waiting for their new album.Feb 29th baby.hahaahahhaa

Sometimes when I have nothing to do,or like am inspired by the movies/stuffs that I read.I tend to think about stuffs concerning/affecting my daily life...For one,I sometimes feel like single is the way to go.Not that I don't want a bf,just that,sometimes it's just better to not have one.There are of course pros and cons to it lah.But I can't help feeling scared hearing my friend's relationship problems at times.I tend to prefer a less dramatic life lately,and hence the coming to these kind of thoughts.hahahaha...

Also,I have come to realise lately that I dont know what is the exact reason for people behaving like this,but I am of the view that self-pity is a very bad thing.Don't take me wrongly,I do have moments of self  pity also,it's just that,I sometimes feel that you go around feeling sad and sorry for yourself,it doesn't actually make things better.Why not choose to be happy instead,or improve on the stuff that makes you feel down,like find a solution or something.I don't mean that you can't totally be sad and emo when you are,( look at the emo posts that I have here..booo) just that,dont do it for too long? Maybe it's due to my impatient personality or something,or that I hate seeing myself being like that and so, I dont really get the idea of self-pity.

I think I realised that self-pity is if I may put it bluntly,a stupid thing sometimes,when I realised a few years back that '' Honey,the world does not revolve around you,so whatever you do,have the strength to look and move forward''.Everyone's selfish to a certain extent,and so,at times,some just couldn't care less about you.

Maybe cause of this some people do it just to seek attention,some just can't help themselves,some just do it without realising it.I think there was one day where I was thinking to myself,urghh,it's just so hard and tiring travelling like that,etc,etc,etc..And then another voice or it's just my logic/rational side talking to me saying  why am I pitying myself,instead of just moping around,why not look at things at the brighter side,when the going gets tough,you should at least try to be tougher..take it as a challenge,a way to arrange your time and all.And so,hence,I try to not self-pity myself too much..and maybe a lack of sympathy for those who do so.( I know I'm mean)..I also feel it takes my energy.mood away..And I dont feel it's worth of my energy to make myself feel like this.Better channel the energy to become a nerd or something more beneficial.hahahaha

Oh course,doing it once in a while is ok,but doing it for a long period of time or all the time,it annoys me lah.I would think,come on,you're not that weak of a person,why make yourself so right? Oh well,these are only my personal thoughts and it's understandable that not everyone agree on all things.so,feel free to disagree.criticize,etc. Just a current random thought that got me thinking lately=.

-with lots of love,peace out-

Happy Valentine's Day! For those lovers out there,it's an extra special day to celebrate love I guess? hahaha.For me ,it's really just another day.No feeling of bitterness or whatsoever this year.(i use to feel a little last time).Gosh,I'm such a grown up now.=/ It's a good thing I guess.hahaha. Was hoping to witness maybe some interesting things,but did not at all.Was a bit disappointed.

Received a call from the King of Gold Bells at night,and again,I was in blur mood cause I was still sleeping (my evening nap) So,so,so sorry man.*cries* The weather is so,so,so hot these days that it's killing me.My love for black  coloured clothing is wavering thanks to the weather.

Nothing much lately.Am trying out Shiseido skincare stuff and it's not bad.Am most probably gonna some of their stuff soon.The sales person recommended me a couple of extra thing.What puzzles me is that she reccomends like two types of stuff in the same category for example,two different type of toner.I feel weird cos I was thinking is there a need to use of different product of the same thing,you get what I mean? That made me think,is she selling me,in a way to get more sales? Hmmm..Need to ask me friends some opinion about this I guess or shall just google it to get some reviews,etc.hehehe.

College is busy and stressful as usual.Arghhhh,I can do this! I must! While I was cleaning up my room for CNY,my mind started compiling a list of things/projects that I wanna do for my holiday after my exams.:DDD A couple of things I have never done before and I hope I have the patience and endurance to complete it,(being the person that I am,I really hope I do).Shall not list it down here first for I don't wanna jinx it.=)

Can't wait for Big Bang's comeback!! Am getting excited about it.It feels like it's been such a long wait after what had happen to them the past year.

That's more of less the summary of what's been happening these past few days/week I guess.Off to read some blogs,revise a bit and sleep.

=with lots of love,peace out-

On days where you feel like crap

As I'm reading my texbooks and seeing my friends study,I'm scared and worried.Am I doing enough.Is it really enough? I have about 3 months or so left.Yes.It seems like a long time but I know it's not.I'm scared and worried making me feel stressed out and when I do stuffs like watching shows,reading blogs,I feel guilty.I force myself to study,reminding myself that I have to at times I don't feel like doing so.

The positive part of me keeps assuring me that everyone has their own way of studying.Dont over think stuffs as it will kill you.I try not to.But it's hard.What fear can do to you is scary.

Studies aside,my face's crap.As in my complexion.I need to go for a facial soon.Not sure when.Have classes on weekdays and on Saturday,it's till night.Want to change or get some facial products,I'm at a lost.Don't know which one to choose.One person tells me this,the other person tells me that.(the people who sells skincare products,I mean) Asking my sis opinion,she scolds me and tells me why do I keep changing and stuffs.She tells me that she wants to help me squeeze my pimples and stuff on my face.I freaked because the last time she does that,it made my face worse.The facial products all so freaking expensive that it makes me think twice before buying one.Why? I dont want to waste my money and buy a bottle for like hundreds of dollars and then find out that it makes my face worse.Plus,it's my own money.I don't feel nice asking my parents for so much money..Am trying to change my eating and lifestyle habit,etc.

My sister irritates and pissed me off lately.Am tired of explaining stuffs and so I just usually keep quiet.Or like just let the thing pass by.I am no superhuman nor am you maid.Don't keep expecting me to do all the simple stuff for you where you are lazy to do.You are tired,so am I.The reason of when I was younger I did all this already and now it's your turn or now is the time for you to learn is plain bullshit.If you were to calculate,the time when you stop doing all the stuffs and the time when i started doing all of it till today can be very much equivalent already.

Dont get me wrong.i love her but sometimes i just am annoyed with her to death.In a way I guess it makes me a person where when I want something,I,myself will go and make it happen.Like,if I want to go to a concert,I'll go buy it myself,etc.Why sit around and wait and then regret and complain to the whole world right? If I'm able to get the stuffs i want with my own ability,I'll go do it.

I need a place to let out my anger,sadness and worries and whatnot.This is the place.Sorry if I'm boring you.I mean you must have think that this girl here is a spoil brat who is selfish and calculative when it comes to helping out and is just plain lazy when it comes to her studies.Hey,you are entitled to what you think.I'm cool with it.

I guess I just need people to reassure me for I am so unsure,insecure,not confident and indecisive of myself at times,that I hate it but can't help it(you know,sometimes you just have days where you just feel like you're crap,etc).Am trying to not think of what people think of me.Man,i hate myself being like this and am trying to improve on this point here.

I'm cranky now,so good night.peace out.

Are you an ugly crier? I am one and hence not a big fan of crying in public or showing any raw emotions.(what a reason right? hahaha)yes.i'm weird in my own way.


p/s:loving Miryo of Brown Eyed Girls new solo album-Johoney.All the songs off the album is awesome..Not all artist has an album full of nice songs.it's usually only one or two that i like.

Happy Chinese New Year! Meeting up with family and friends,food,fireworks,karaoke,lou sang and of course juicy gossip.Ooh and new clothes.Hahahaha.
ignore the fat photos of me *sigh*


-with lots of love,peace out-

i.d.g.a.f.o.s

I think I once wrote here,somewhere in my blog that people generally do not change easily.But I have come to realise that we as time passes by,we do however tend to change our perception on life and things.Mostly through experience and the way we adapt to new surrounding.

The now me don't really have a problem with eating/shopping alone.Yes.It is sad and super lonely at times,especially shopping.I have gotten used to it somehow.Eating alone used to be a big issue for me.Being super self conscious of myself,I hate eating alone or people looking at me when I eat( I still do today on people looking at me).But now,as I've realised lately,that I don't really care.It's nice at times.You get to people watch and be amused at stuff that you,yourself get it.I only tend to not have trouble shopping alone if I have already set goals on what I want to buy.Not clothes though,cos I tend to need opinion on it.hahahaa.

The now me don't long for a boyfriend and dread being single like I used to last time.Not totally 100% lah but not as bad as last time.Am of the opinion now that being single is actually a good thing at times.There's less drama in your life,as in you have a bit more freedom to a certain extent.Of course from time to time I wish I had a bf,(times where the whole world around me,people seem to be hooking up except me,times when I feel I need some companion everyone seems busy with their lives,etc,etc)but for now: ''No boyfriend,not a problem'' =D

The now me likes things to be spontaneous up to a certain extent.I like to plan stuff a bit beforehand.Especially like meeting ups or birthday stuffs or just some events.The now me realised that sometimes being the bad person is better than being the nice person all the time.The now me am not that naive in just simply believing some crap that is being said to me.

The now me keeps reminding myself not to fall for fantasy stuff,i.e. being realistic and facing the fact that some things are just suppose to work that way.The now me have learnt how to keep her mouth shut at times,and that ignorance is truly a bliss at certain times.The now me tries not to be super judgemental and try to practice what I preach(as in the stuffs that I always annoys me) The now me prefers to be low profile and try not to be a show off or arrogant.

The now me am very thankful of the people I get to know so far.Good or bad,in a way they help me become stronger.The now me have gotten tired of at times trying to be someone I am not just to impress a person.I don't see the point in doing it at times,but in the world full of fake people and people who takes people at the face value/at first instance,one can't help but be fake at times.

The now me appreciates the little things in life that is easily forgotten and tries not to regret on these things when its too late to turn back time.This results in me now trying to live a life of what I think is the right way.Living it for myself to a certain extend for I realised that my actions in a way always affects those who love and care about me.

The now me tries to me a (wo)man of her words for action speaks louder than words.The now me tries not to be over dramatic.The now me can take criticisms better and try not to take myself too seriously.The now me tries not to be overly sensitive and hence,be more open and positive.

p/s: At times I ask myself,what are my flaws? Am I a two-faced person,am I fake? Am I materialistic? What kind of person do you think I am? The negative traits of me.Feel free to tell me,for I am curious of your opinion of me,and don't be worried that I can't accept it for I seriously value constructive  criticisms.. =)

note:title of the post is taken from dillon francis' song.(currently loving the song)google the meaning if you're curious for what it means.An early apology for the level of profanity used.=p
-with lots of love and curiosity, peace out-